to think its pretty sad they way some mums, with more than one child try to patronise mothers of one saying oh its so easy with one all the time

[freespiritfreedom]

they do not know all your circumstances.

they amount of help and support/babysitting mothers get varies greatly.

if they want to constanly whing how hard it is, why did they have more then?
esp when they have more than 2 as they knew whatthey where letting themseleves in for its like they expect the kids to be grateful for being born.

I have never said to anyone 'It's so easy with 1'.
However, I do get mothers on 1 saying to me, 'ohhh life is hectic, it's mad, it's this it's that' and then they always finish off saying 'I don't know how you do it with 3'.

Is this going to end in a barney do you think?

Yes.

I dont know what to say

Ignore them

Not something i would be arsed to get wound up by tbh

yabvu

but then i guess you have plenty of time on your hands to be.......

hmm I think yabu a bit.

I look at my friends with more than one child trying to juggle them esp when one is still a baby/toddler and the other one wants to be doing more grown-up things but can't because baby can't etc and I do think that having just the one is much easier than having more than one.

Obviously this depends on the child to an extent - ie if you have only one with severe disabilities or behavioral problems then having just the one would be difficult.

But on the whole I think that two is much harder than just one.

Are you comfortable with just having one? Your post sounds very resentful.

Just tell them your a free spirit who does let things get to her, go off an smell some lavender or something

this certain person keeps telling me how easy my life is!

Actually, it's not harder with more than 1 child. It can be easier in some ways as theotrically they play with each other and you can do somethign else, like put a wash on, wohooooo. It's not so much that life with more than 1 child is harder but you have even less time than you had with 1 and you never really have a minute to yourself with one! I have 3 and find the difference to the washing seems to have quadrupled somehow. One more extra plate, set of cutlery, cup, to get out, put away, one more coat to put on, nappy to change, etc etc has made life a lot busier but harder.

Just laugh at her them and say, yes your right, its easy, feel sorry for you having it so tough, but you did want to have more than one

My last line should read :

has made life a lot busier but not harder.

i think i am going to let rip at her, the next time she tells me how easy i have it.

what exactly does this person say?

Dont let rip at her, thats probably what she wants, sounds like she is trying to wind you up

thankyou thomcat for a sensible post
any advice for what i can reply to this person?

as i'm tempted to say something not very nice.

Just say look, you might think i have it easy but really, what is your point? would you prefer it if i was struggling? some of us just cope better than other at parenting

vinegar, actually i think your right.
i do think she is trying to wind me up.
because its just not something you constantly say is it.

thanks vinegar, feeling calmer already

why do you need to let rip at her?

Do you find being a parent hard?

Are you going through other issues that are making your life difficult atm?

Remember that people who now have more than one child have had just the one once, so they do know what it's like with just one. Whereas if you've never have more than one child you really don't know what it's like/how difficult it is to juggle more than one.

exactly lockets

How about saying to her 'Is it harder, really? Why is it harder? I can see that your day to day life might be a busier than mine, but do you really think it's that much harder???', in a friendly, conversational way.

I agree with you thomcat. My two eldest dd's go to their dad every summer for 4 weeks and dd3 age 3 is a pain in the arse.She can't seem to entertain herself at all.
It's much easier to get babysitters though .

Having your first child is the hardest I think, after that they just have to fit in.

It is a pain in the arse juggling all their needs though.And going to the shops with one is waaaay easier than going with three.

I find it easier with 2, the older one entertains the younger one