to be fuming that my daughter was not 'allowed' a pudding at her friends house because she didn't eat her meal

[conniedescending]

Still cross about this now whenever I think about it. Collected dd this evening and she was quiet on the way home. Asked her what the matter was and she finally told me she was upset because she wasn't allowed any of the cake that her friend and rest of the family had in front of her.

she said the mum siad it was because she hadnt eaten her meal so she couldnt have any. Was quite suprised because dd is a good eater and not fussy so asked what she had had - omlette, chips and salad.....she said she had eaten her chips and salad. If this wasn't bad enough the friends mum had asked me yesterday what dd would eat for tea and I said 'oh anything...except she won't eat anything eggy'

i need some perspective on this because I really want to address this with the woman tomorrow.

Oh, I would feel just like you! How mean! ( I speak as fellow egg-phobic)
I'd just STUFF my dd with cake and be v reluctant to encourage the friendship. Of course it's not her little friend's fault... actually, I'd probably just tell all my friends about this, which isn't very nice I know, but it would pee me off too.

Its bad if you told her that she doesn't like anything eggy - eurgh omelette - my idea of yuck!

I totally see where she is coming from on that one..but if those are the rules in the house - all kiddies must finish dinner then...its a toughie

The mum should not have given her an omelette

I think that is really mean. I would be annoyed too. Some people are quite pathetic.

Unfortunately, it was in this woman's house so she is entitled to insist on her rules. I wouldn't make a fuss.

I do think she is being unreasonable in serving up food that you told her your DD didn't like, though, especially as she had asked you especially. As someone who thinks that omelettes are the preferred dish of Satan, I sympathise with your DD too!

YANBU and i would want to say something too, except i am too much of a coward to say anything, but if you want to then go for it! it was a pettything to do.

I think that rules should be a bit relaxed in the case of guests anyway. Not very nice for your poor DD.

I think it's not fair because you said she didn't like eggy things. But I am afraid that I am a bit "their house, their rules" in most circumstances. For example, I insist on knives and forks and reasonably OK table manners evern from visiting children - I remind ds's best friend to use his fork, and he now he says "Oh, sorry, I forgot I wasn't at home"!

It's really not worth making a fuss about. Your DD may well be embarrassed that you've approached the mother about it and it may be that the mother misheard you and thought your DD liked eggy stuff.

Bake your DD a cake for tomorrow and let it go.

But I don't expcet people to finish everything!

Yanbu on the egg thing, rotten thing to do when she knew she wouldn't eat them.

Yabu on the pudding issue, her house her rules.

Blimey no need to be so ranty and angry.

Their house, their rules.

Smile sweetly, sympathise with DD if you like, and move on.

What was the point in asking you what your dd would eat and then give the only thing you said she wouldn't . Maybe the mum didn't want to share the cake with anyone other than family!

if the mum knew your dd didn't like eggs it's very mean.

playing devils advocate here.. you think she was just sticking with house rules... rather than being nasty??

( I personally tend to be less firm when friends are round .. but hey)

I think it's a totally stupid rule too! It's such an incredibly rude way to treat a guest

I only mentioned it because another mum gave her quiche once and was wracked with guilt that dd hadn't eaten

do you think she could have given her an omlette on purpose because I mentioned the egg???

I'd be livid if another mum asked me what my kids disliked and then gave it to them. FFS, was she asking so that she COULD give them what they disliked.

And what's with the not giving any cake? It's up to you to instill good eating practice in your child not her. Her job was to entertain your child and be nice to her for 3 hours, how hard can it be.

I wouldn't bother saying anything at all to her though, what's the point?

we have the "don't eat meal, you get nowt else" rule in our house

but it is relaxed for guests, they are special

YABU- her house, her rules. Your dd will live, even if the egg thing was unfair.

That is awful! Especially if a) you had said she didn't like eggs, and b) everyone else had cake in front of her-I would never do that, and think it is a stupid rule anyway!

hi , don't have anything earth shattering to say but YANBU for being cross. However ... I don't think you should go too mad at woman, maybe just comment that DD was really really upset (I'd give it a good exaggeration) and could she think of why as you know that as she asked for your advice and knew she couldn't eat anything eggy.

I suppose it depends on how good buddies your DD is with the other little girl. I personally wouldn't be keen to let my child to again as their parenting stance is a little severe for my tastes and yours probably too.

HTH a little.

donm't mention it to the mum. I think that would be taking it too far. Sympathise with your dd and tell her she never has to go for tea there again.

oh, as another OP said, there is always the possibility that she misheard you, and thought you said she liked eggy things.

Fecking hell. I'd be steaming about that.

Surely the point of having a child over to play/have tea is to make them feel welcome and let them enjoy themselves?

If my dcs don;t eat what I would consider to be a reasonable amount of tea then they only get fruit or yogurt for pudding if we're having something more 'exciting' for afters.

But if their friends are over the rules are relaxed for everyone. I wouldn't dream of enforcing a rule like that on someone else's child, even if they were in my house.

I also make sure I ask about likes and dislikes and cook something I am 99% certain they are going to eat.

I want them to have fun and go home happy after being at my house.

YANBU at all, imo, especially as you'd told the other mum she didn;t like eggs.

I don't understand what she thought she'd achieve by treating a guest like that.

I would speak to her and probably not want my dc to go there for tea again if that's the way she is likely to be treated.

do think thats mean, but would let it go. Your DD is going to have more of these situations and its best to learn to rise above it; people are so weird about foods. As long as she gets sensible rules from you and knows she is in the right, its easier to tolerate other peoples foibles. tis bloody rude of that mum though.

lol at seeker. we were always taught the rules at home, not that we had to follow them, but so that we knew how to behave 'when out'!!

puts my teeth on edge every time I hear that phrase, 'your house your rules'. What's that got to do with being a sensible, considerate human being?