To feel a bit sad for children in nurseries 8-6 every day?

[SlightlySad]

It struck me yesterday as I took DS2 to the aquarium then for a walk along the seafront that he was very lucky to be doing this. He'd had a few hours chilling out in the morning, taken his big brother to school, had a fun trip out, then back home for a nap.

If he had been in nursery since 12 weeks, then he wouldn't be doing half the things that he does - mother and toddlers, soft play, baby classes, singing classes, trips to the park, pre-school sessions... I know that some nurseries do these things, but it's not every day, and these are the better nurseries. Some children must spend most of their week in one room. I think this would drive DS2 mad.

I'm very lucky in not working, but this isn't a SAHM vs WOHM issue. I just think if I had to go out to work, that I would choose a childminder to care for my children rather than sending them to a nursery.

If you chose a nursery, does yours do lots of extra stuff? Do the children leave the nursery building/garden often? Why did you go with a nursery and not a CM?

You are v v brave posting this!!!

My nursery does painting, singing, dancing, glueing, cooking, playing with toys, role playing, story playing. they have a huge soft play area where they can go crazy, they have a garden where they can ride bikes, go on the slide, play in the play house etc. now he's gone up to the older side they have computers, learn letters and numbers etc. etc. They've helped me with toilet training, advise on development, behaviour etc. He has loads of friends there.

I chose a nursery because I wanted a more formal environment to prepare him for school and I was worried about how he would be treated in a childminder situation with only one adult unsupervised. I also wanted him to be used to having lots of other children around.

To be honest I think the nursery gives him a much more rounded range of activities than I'd ever have the energy to give him every single day. Having said that he only goes 3 days a week and the rest of the time we do stuff together and its really lovely.

advice not advise. sorry.

OK.

"Some children must spend most of their week in one room". I'd feel quite sad for any child doing this, yes, but it's not a nursery issue in my experience.

Oh, what the heck. I don't know where to start with posts like this.

Mothers, childminders, nurseries, grannies, can all care for children in a way I wouldn't choose for my own DS.

I'm going to go away until I think of something sensible to say.

Your first post, SlightlySad ?

I hope you are happy in your smugness.

Well as a result of EYFS they have to have a certain amount of outside play a week.

Have you ever set foot in a nursery by the way?

i think you are about to get flamed for posting this.

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

Get your hard hat on

eeh this drives me mad.

why does everyone get so angry with someone who expresses an opinion.

surely we are all entitled to our opinions.

i think she was asking reasonable questions.

'Why did you go with a nursery and not a CM? '

We went with a nursery because we couldn't find any registered childminders in our area. None of them were on the childcarelink site and we wanted one that had all the checks etc.
We went for a nursery precisely because it was open from 8am - 6pm, so that we could work a 9-5 job.
We went with a nursery because there are never any issues with staff sickness. If your childminder is off sick then you've basically had it.

But mostly I chose a nursery because i knew there was no mumsnet or TV there unlike at a childminder's house

Unfortunately, we don't live near the sea so no aquariums for my dd to visit anyway.

Ditto what mankymummy posted.

ditto mankymummys 9.02 post in case anyone is confused!!

Milge is quite right.

Your post is far to smug to warrant any sort of articulate response.

As the whole childcare is entirely hypothetical to you - why do you care how the rest of us make our decisions?

'I chose a nursery because I wanted a more formal environment to prepare him for school and I was worried about how he would be treated in a childminder situation with only one adult unsupervised. I also wanted him to be used to having lots of other children around.'

Why would you want to prepare a tiny child for school? In my opinion school and formal stuff starts way too early anyhow.
Isn't a CM more like home? And those kids cope with school just fine.
ds2 went to school at 13 and fitted in just fine.

I'm not being smug. I know that I am very lucky in my situation.

Yes, I have been in a nursery. DS1 went for two mornings per week before he started pre-school. But for him it was another change of scene - not his whole waking week.

I just feel a bit sad for the children who never get outside of a nursery building during the week. Yes, I agree that there is always the risk of a bad CM who goes on MN/watches TV, but surely a bit of this is normal life? Kids don't need 24/7 adult interaction.

The thing you have to remember is that very few children in nursery are in nursery every week day from 12 weeks old. Most children attend nursery part-time and I would imagine start somewhere between 6 months and a year. It could be argued that many children over the age of 2 would be in some kind of playgroup setting/nursery for a few hours a week anyway - the difference is that a nursery will provide cover from 8-6, whereas a playgroup or pre-school may only be open from 9-12 5 mornings a week.

My problem with nursery is that there is too much staff turnover, children move rooms too often and this was not good for DS. Other children do, however, seem to do very well at nursery.

There were certainly plenty of activities - I don't think boredom was an issue.

We chose a nursery rather than a childminder because DS was our first child and the idea of finding a childminder was rather daunting. If you find a good childminder you have struck gold, but not all childminders are good. In a nursery like DS's, where there was a recent Ofsted report and parents are coming in and out all day, we felt more secure in our choice. A nursery is also more likely to be flexible in offering a choice of slots for childcare.

i choose a nursery for both of mine. with ds1 he was socialsied with children of his own age and grew with then from the age of 2 till nearly 4 (he even went to tha same school as 2 of them and still friends with them now age 10) with a childminder he would have been with children of all ages and activities would have been aimed at all children not specific to his age at the time. he grew he moved to the next age group room with children he knew of the same age. again they did activities for that age. they also had visits from the fire brigade/police/ambulance/ creepy crawly lady brought things in for them see/touch. they had outdoor time everyday, with out door toys for their age, (bigger children toys were put away when it was their time to go in etc) they have singsong times with parents/parents meetings and followed the curriculum set for their age groups. they also had a choice of freshly prepared healthy meals. no chips, smileys, waffels etc that a friends childminder seems to dish up everyday.as he got older they would go on summer trips out (with parents permission or parents could even join them for the day at a local wildlife park or the sealife centre)

with ds2 he had gone to a nursery also (not the same one as i work at a different place now) at this nursery they also have the children set in groups of their age group so i know he's not going to be over come with olderchildren. they also have visits from the emrgency services/creepy crawl lady/ the have a singing lady also come in with lots of different musical equipment for them to play. they follow the curriculum set for their age group. they also do "cooking" sessions, helping to use the rolling pin, making crispy cakes etc. they have a kitchen on site with chef to make fresh healthy meals. yesterday they had a special fundraising day for children in need and all went in their pyjamas! so they all learnt about what they were raising money for etc.They have separate playgrounds for age group and have outdoor playtime /free play outside as much as possible with out it raining. this is good as my ds2 loves it outside and would prefer being outside all day to being in, even if its raining he doesnt care!

i knew of 2 local childminders to me, both of who i had heard and actually seen bad things about, one of them would use one seatbelt for 2 children (shock) and wouldnt let the children talk to her while she watches countdown, and the other was regularly late dropping him off to school and picking him up (it was the only school she dropped off at) and left a boy at a party place before even the birthday party had started and other children were there.

I guess choosing a nursery was my personal preference and others may choose cm, which ever works best for you and your dc.

I chose a fabulous nursery for my son when he was little rather than a childminder as I felt more comfortable in him being in this environment than with one adult in their house.
He had a huge range of things he did which I could never offer at home (thank god I never had to have a paddling pool or sandpit at home) and often went out for walks to local places of interest.

Must put that on my "to do" list actually: Move house to seaside so my dd can visit aquariums.

Asking questions, educating yourself about a way of life you don't have any experience of is absolutely fine.

Offering sympathy and presuming that others are somehow worse off than you, not acceptable.

Oh and he loved it and at the age of 13 still has fond memories of the staff, children and fun things they did.

Dd went to nursery and still gets upset now talking about it as she misses it so much. She had a great time there and loved it.

and actually i think he does more things at nursery than i would let him do at home, theres no way i would a 2 yr old loose with a pot of paint and paint brush in my house

We see a childminder walking her mindees to school every morning. She yells like a fishwife, and her house looks trashed. Not a good advert for herself IMO.