To feel a bit sad for children in nurseries 8-6 every day?

[SlightlySad]

It struck me yesterday as I took DS2 to the aquarium then for a walk along the seafront that he was very lucky to be doing this. He'd had a few hours chilling out in the morning, taken his big brother to school, had a fun trip out, then back home for a nap.

If he had been in nursery since 12 weeks, then he wouldn't be doing half the things that he does - mother and toddlers, soft play, baby classes, singing classes, trips to the park, pre-school sessions... I know that some nurseries do these things, but it's not every day, and these are the better nurseries. Some children must spend most of their week in one room. I think this would drive DS2 mad.

I'm very lucky in not working, but this isn't a SAHM vs WOHM issue. I just think if I had to go out to work, that I would choose a childminder to care for my children rather than sending them to a nursery.

If you chose a nursery, does yours do lots of extra stuff? Do the children leave the nursery building/garden often? Why did you go with a nursery and not a CM?

I hope some nurseries mix ages. How weird would it be to only mix wtih same age people from birth to 18 when you leave school!

Slightysad. Loving your nickname, is this in honour of all those poor kids in nursery?

I'm sure your post is well meaning but nonetheless condescending. I guess we all do things differently and according our circumstances.

My son is in nursery and is a happy chap so please don't feel sorry for him.

My -ill-fated-- eco nursery was going to have mixed ages but OFSTED & the local council wouldn't let me

Both of my DS's do crafty, musical and baking stuff weekly. We go to some sort of activity every day. Play-doh, painting and sticking are done every day in the kitchen whilst I'm cooking. Yes, they watch TV, but I choose what they watch (Virgin +), and they never get dragged round the shops in a buggy. I am lucky if I can ever get DS2 in a buggy!

So yes, we leave the house every day. Often for two activities a day (child-centred activities), plus shopping trips, school runs, park trips....

Perhaps my kids actually do a lot, and I don't really realise it (I am very down on myself as a mum). However, I wasn't trying to compare what I do to a child in nursery, I was trying to wonder why people made a choice about childcare arrangements presuming that staying at home FT wasn't an option.

Going out now.. not running away

I also chose a nursery as a teacher friend of mine said that it took a little longer for 'non nursery' children to settle at school and they generally didn't have as much confidence. I hated school with a passion and never had much confidence so that made my decision for me.

I know now that it was a huge generalisation, but it kind of made sense at the time.

ill-fated

YABU.

Don't waste your emotions feeling sad for those children spending time in nursery, making friends, having fun. Feel sad for the children who are neglected or abused.

But here's a pat on the back for taking your child to the aquarium and having such good fun.

none of mine (except ds1 with ASD) took any time at all to settle into school despite staying at home until the school term age.
I don't believe that is generally appliable.

You see this is where people go very, very wrong - too many activities/organised time.

Children should just be allowed to be children.

Enjoy the trolling.

I am part-time (3 days) and my 20 month old ds has been going to nursery 8-5 (ish) since he was 10 months.

I do find the OP smug. I chose nursery for a lot of the reasons already mentioned - I have no family close by to fall back on if the childminder is ill, and also being only 3 days DS gets 4 days in a home environment. While I don't think for one minute that ds in nursery is as good as him being at home, we have bills to pay . However, he does seem to enjoy nursery, and we now accept it as part of life.

I think the majority of children start in nursery later than 12 weeks of age, and very few are there 8am-6pm 5 days a week, so YABU. And very smug in front of lots of people who would LOVE to be a SAHM, but have to work.

Thank you Marla - I was ready to curl up & cry

needmorecoffee I realise that now but when I was toying with options in the arly days, that sweeping statement made me chose nursery over a CM....

I've only ever been inside one nursery when I was looking to park dd2 somewhere to give me a break. But they wouldn't take her cos of her disabilities.
Was a bit tatty inside but the kids looked ok. Was shocked at how young the helpers were!

we have respite care at home instead now and, I ask for older women. The really young girls just didn't know how to entertain dd and I'd catch them watching MTV or texting while rocking dd back and forth. DD was bored rigid as she wanted to play.

What a perfect mother you are Slightlysad! Excuse me whilst I go and beat myself over the head for having the temerity to leave my child at nursery all day where strangers who know nothing about what goes on there can feel sorry for her, whilst I go and do a demanding job that I'm very good at.

needmorecoffee - that's interesting actually. I picked the nursery we have because a larger proportion of the staff were older. The senior worker in the babies room is well into her fifties and is amazing with them. The manager is around my age or a bit older perhaps and in the 7 months B has ben going nobody has left. There is one teenager - but she's there on a college placement!

Gah.

mine never went to nursery. Instead they sat at home with a rather depressive mother, watching cbeebies all day and avoiding doing anything that involved going out or getting wet or sandy.

I think nursery would have been great for them...

I don't think the OP was judging. All of us wonder what 'the other side' is like.
I wonder where women get the energy to work all day then cook and clean. Was at a meeting yesterday till 4 and was completely shattered. So the boys paid for pizza. I'd need to be a CEO to do that every day!

SlightlySad - what business is it of yours?
None whatsoever.

Since you do not need childcare, why the hell are you making asasumptions that a childminder is automatically better than a nursery?
The FACT is that when people choose their childcrae options, they weigh up the pros and cons. For some children, they are better off with a childminder, some are better suited to a nursery environment.
For some cases, either one of them are chosen because the parents' circumstances dictates the childcare (childminder wasn't an option for me as SH & I did not want to cover CM's sickness and holidays as well as our own - we have no friends or family nearby to help out).

Lucky you that you are able to stay at home. But many of us who work full time do so because financially we have no choice.

I can assure you my son loves his nursery, he adores playing with the other babies, especially the older ones. He also sometimes gets the opportunity to mix with all age groups, the nursery staff dote on him quite visibly and he has access to a range of activities I would not be able to do with him. They also get outside play as well and they organise trips (which parents are welcome to come on).
And he is in 7.45 - 5 M-F. I looked at part time options but my job cannot be done part time, and I couldn't afford to drop down to part time hours.
My DS is a happy, playful and affectionate little boy who has been at nursery now since he was 8.5mo. And so I absolutely resent you saying that you feel sorry for him. That is very very presumptuous of you.

Should have been DH not SH... I'm not trying to implying he is a SHIT husband lol!

cbbeebies all day. Pah, you lot are spoilt. Back in the olden days apart from a few mroning programmes there wasn't all day children's TV. We had to heave them in the garden and ignore them or sit through tedious toddler groups discussing nappies

"I don't think the OP was judging."

She was because she said she felt sad that children were in nursery.

"I feel sad when I see children drinking fruitshoots. I look at DD with her lovel Innocent Smoothy and think how lucky she is. Obviously not all parents have access to Waitrose, but tell me, why would you buy your child a fruitshoot?"

even if the kids are at nursery 8am -6pm all week you can still go to the acquarium at the weekend you know....