To feel a bit sad for children in nurseries 8-6 every day?

[SlightlySad]

It struck me yesterday as I took DS2 to the aquarium then for a walk along the seafront that he was very lucky to be doing this. He'd had a few hours chilling out in the morning, taken his big brother to school, had a fun trip out, then back home for a nap.

If he had been in nursery since 12 weeks, then he wouldn't be doing half the things that he does - mother and toddlers, soft play, baby classes, singing classes, trips to the park, pre-school sessions... I know that some nurseries do these things, but it's not every day, and these are the better nurseries. Some children must spend most of their week in one room. I think this would drive DS2 mad.

I'm very lucky in not working, but this isn't a SAHM vs WOHM issue. I just think if I had to go out to work, that I would choose a childminder to care for my children rather than sending them to a nursery.

If you chose a nursery, does yours do lots of extra stuff? Do the children leave the nursery building/garden often? Why did you go with a nursery and not a CM?

why did the OP name change ?

PMSL at the bad childminder who goes on mumsnet/watches TV for her half hour break! CM are supposed to be like home and children should not need to be entertained all day long, just as a mother at home wouldn't. It creates children who can't play by themselves or use imagination. I'm just wondering if Shosh is about as she got mainly outstandings with the exception of EYFS planning due to it being new, but got a good for that anyway and still occasionally checks into the CM staffroom Clearly some people have no idea about childrens varied needs and development.

Hm, don't think there is a reason to feel sad for the Kids....like someone else already said, feel sad for abused and neglected children....it would make more sense.

My Kids started nursery early, but only very part time, just to give me a break, tbh....as I was lucky enough to be a SAHM.
I know my Kids did lots of fun things when they were there and always had a good time...! If I had to work I would have had no problem to send them to their nursery for more time....don't think they would have missed out...if anything, considering I am a crappy mum, they probably would have benefitted....but that is neither here nor there.

We moved around a fair bit, so, used different nurseries over the years...and the best one ever is the one here, where we live now.
And whilst sadly they only have small fascilities, the Kids were always able to play out, aswell as inside whatever the weather. The staff was all pretty permanent....in the 3 years we have used it there may have been staff change ocassionally, but the core staff are all still the same, with the same enthusiasm as always, being caring and totally lovely to each child. Over the years they have looked after several sn children, children with cp for instance, that were wheelchair bound etc...and they seem to do a fab job to my untrained eye.
They were also so approachable and friendly with the parents. Which is so important...as a parent I want them to tell me what my child has done (the good and the bad) and I want to know I can approach them with any problem....
Maybe , having such good experience with a nursery is blinkering my view...but, whilst I am sure childminders do a fab job, I think if I had to choose childcare , I wold choose nursery!
Sorry for the long rambling there...

My dd went to nursery from 5.5 months. It came highly recommended and I had to reserve a place long before she was born. I too had to work, but I was always really happy about the care she received there. The staff turnover was low, and I had the impression that they really cared about the kids.

They always got lots of cuddles and attention. They were taken on trips to soft play, or just out to feed the ducks/local park. They played outside everyday weather permitting. DD certainly had the opportunity to do many many things she wouldn't have done at home. She made lots of friends and became very confident. Food was freshly cooked on the premises and I was always amazed at how unpicky the children were and would all sit down nicely to eat together from a very young age. We both cried when she left as we moved abroad when she was 2. I didn't want a childminder as I didn't think the same opportunities would be on offer.

My 2 go to nursery 2 days a week. They are there from about 9 til half five on those days. They enjoy it. Loads to do there, huge outside play area, painting, making things, baking. They go on trips ?have been to farm, pet shop, soft play area, and recently went to see children?s theatre show. Have good food cooked fresh there. Staff are caring and not much in way of staff turnover at our nursery. When I go to collect I have to jump about in front of ds1 for a while before he will notice/acknowledge me because he?s always too busy. At the end of the day they are really tired and go to bed nice and early so I don?t get to see them much on those days but I get to make up for it on other days. It would make me sad if my children were at nursery for a long day everyday but not because I think they would be unhappy/not looked after but because I would feel I was missing out.

yabu and yab v smug.

LOL at the poster saying they would love to find a CM with passes to various places- our group has negotiated special prices for outings and go out somewhere usually about 3 times per week at least. In summer we went out most days. Parks, Farms, Soft Play, Swimming, music and toddler groups and when we stay at home the morning is devoted to things like painting,drawing,play doh, free play, puzzles. IMO providing a far more rounded learning environment for children.

Oh and while the children where having a much needed nap in the afternoon due to all the busy morning activities I actuaslly might have gone on mumsnet for 30 mins I think like anyone working I deserve a tea break at some point in my 10hr working day!

With a childminder if your child, her child or she is ill then you have no back up, nursery is reliably open so you only have to worry if your child is ill. My nursery is really convenient for me, much nearer than nearest childminder so I'm really lucky there, dd is there 2 days but the regularly go to the shops, the park, and play in there garden most days, I think she does much more there then she does with me on my days at home. DD can't talk yet but when I go to pick her up there is often a child telling his/her mum 'I don't want to go home I'm having fun here' Which though I always feel for the parent makes me really happy that nursery is fun.
I think it does also depend on the child, dd is very outgoing (as much as you can be at 12mo) and loves being with other children so its perfect for her, if she was more of an introvert I might be more inclined to find a CM

Also you might feel lucky to be a SAHM which is fab but we are all different I feel very lucky to be going to work and have childcare I have confidence in. Horses for courses and all that, I was so glad to go back to work, love my time with dd but wouldn't want to be with her 24/7

My children went to a fantastic nursery when they were pre-school. They got to do all sorts of things, painting, cooking, outside play, visits to the farm..... I feel they were very fortunate to have that experience... oh FFS why am I even bothering to feel I have to justify anything!
OP - you are smug and self satisfied. Don't pretend to be asking a legitimate question. Bully for you that you feel fortunate to not have to work! Some of us feel fortunate that we have the ability and energy to have interesing jobs! And there are thousands of parents out there who DON'T have any choice anyway - both parents need to work, not for luxuries, but to afford a fucking roof over their heads and food on the table!
So piss off back to the aquarium. Or better still, go get a job and then you may not be so bored that you feel the need to start threads like this!!

Not bothered to read whole thread just AAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OK. Those of us with slightly older kids........ let's ask them what they remember about their pre-school days. Be careful not to lead the witness. My bet is that whatever their experience was, it will seem 'normal' to them.

Wonderstuff you do have back up so long as you find a CM who works as part of a group. I was off sick for 2 wks and found cover for my parents. Also, because we worked together all our children know each CM well so it wasn't an issue for them being left with the other CM.

mytetherisrising, I wasn't questioning that CM's exist who have access to lots of places to take children. What I questioned was the idea that most childminders have access to this kind of thing and that this makes a CM a better option than a nursery. I think this idea is little bit barking. Having said that, for most young children, I think a visit to the park is just as valuable and fiddling around with paint while somebody cooks is great too.

To be honest, I think DS's nursery was far, far, far nicer than a soft play centre.

I would stay at home if I could afford it - but then do the rest of you want young female GPs who understand the difficulties of life with young children or not

I can't so I made the best childcare decision for us. I can't cancel a whole days appointments at a moment's notice because my childminder is sick and I have no alternatives for when they are on holiday or for over christmas (the nursery is only closed bank holidays). My son will go three days a week to nursery where he can run around, do messy play and interact with other children. Four days of the week he is home with me where we can have quiet time, go to the park, do house type stuff together. It's not perfect but it is what we can manage.

surely if you were a chidminder you would just ask your parents to buy you various passes.
Or is that nannies?
I know my nanny friend has passes to wildlife places etc, think she gets a free pass from the parents and spending money each week for activities, buying juice out etc

Right thats much better!
When my DD1 was born I was in the middle of training to be a GP - I had NO choice (if I wanted to finish) than to go back to work full time with nights and weekends when she was 4 months old....husband worked shifts including nights (not medic), MIL mucked in but she works half day.....so my "poor deprived sad little DD1" had to go to nursery 8-6 5 days a week !!!
It was very hard on ME (she on the other hand seemed fine and thrived in that environment and is now a very happy confident sociable independant 7 year old)..and ill thought out, horrid, judgemental comments like the OP post would have just about killed me/pushed me over the edge at the time
I am now qualified and work 2 and a half days a week, DD2 is 11 months I see a lot more of her and do all the "fun" things you mentioned above...she is with a CM one day a week and dad/MIL the rest of the time - TBH she is far less socialised, independant or confident than DD1 and is a bit of a clingy mummy's girl - it may be she is just a differnt tpe of child or it may be that SHE is the one who has been hard done by NOT going to nursery!
I hate threads like this - it makes me feel bad and question my decisions/life choices all over again - WHAT RIGHT do you have to decide what is best/sad for others children - if you want to be a SAHM and are able to do so jolly good for you - some of dont want to/nor had the option but I didnt come here and say how sad I felt for your child missing out on all the fun things in nursery and having to spend all day with his boring mum and end up being a clingy mummys boy - oooh sorry was that just a bit judgy!!!!

Another point is that when making the choice between a nursery and a childminder, parents are not able to choose between nursery x and any childminder in the UK on the register. Their choice is between a nursery and local childminders who have spaces. The fact that wonderful childminders exist who almost certainly provide a better environment than a nursery is largely irrelevant if they don't live anywhere near you or they don't have spaces.

oh good grief

From what I understand I think the op wasn't judging childcare, just the children who are there all day every day. Obviously children enjoy it and get lots of benefits from nursery but I feel the same in that if my dd went 8-6 every day she would get bored.

Haven't read the thread - but would just say, I don't use CM's or nurseries at the moment. Ideally I'd like to us a CM when I go back to work, but that will depend entirely on whether I can actually find one that will be able to have my DC the number of hours I need.

"mother and toddlers, soft play, baby classes, singing classes, trips to the park, pre-school sessions."

Why do they need mother and toddlers if they're in nursery? I took mine to M&T toddler groups to interact with other children......which they'd be doing at nursery. Baby classes/singing classes - most nurseries do singing and other "fun" stuff with the DC. Tripes to the park - true there may not be so many trips to the actual park - but I know that the nursery that DS1 and 2 went to when they were 4 (for the year before they started school) had a fabulous outdoor play area. Pre-school sesssions...........ermm don't they do basically the same sort of stuff they'd do at nursery???

As with Fllightthebluetouchpaper's 10.11 post - I think my DC would have been better off at nursery than stuck at home with me at lot of the time.............

"Obviously children enjoy it and get lots of benefits from nursery but I feel the same in that if my dd went 8-6 every day she would get bored."

Well if you didn't have a choice - there woudn't be much you could do about it would there? And I fail to see how my children would have got bored if they'd been at their LEA nursery from 8-6 everyday - even if they never left the "confines" (which wasn't really confined at all - big covered outdoor play area, as well as the garden, and a huge space inside) of the nursery property they had so much more on offer to do inside than I could ever have offered them.

"I know my nanny friend has passes to wildlife places etc, think she gets a free pass from the parents and spending money each week for activities, buying juice out etc"

I know this is quite common with nannies (who may also have access to a gym), but a bit different when a childminder is looking after children from several different families -

true, so childminders would have to buy it themselves I guess. With more employers though they'd have more money to do that I guess.