To feel a bit sad for children in nurseries 8-6 every day?

[SlightlySad]

It struck me yesterday as I took DS2 to the aquarium then for a walk along the seafront that he was very lucky to be doing this. He'd had a few hours chilling out in the morning, taken his big brother to school, had a fun trip out, then back home for a nap.

If he had been in nursery since 12 weeks, then he wouldn't be doing half the things that he does - mother and toddlers, soft play, baby classes, singing classes, trips to the park, pre-school sessions... I know that some nurseries do these things, but it's not every day, and these are the better nurseries. Some children must spend most of their week in one room. I think this would drive DS2 mad.

I'm very lucky in not working, but this isn't a SAHM vs WOHM issue. I just think if I had to go out to work, that I would choose a childminder to care for my children rather than sending them to a nursery.

If you chose a nursery, does yours do lots of extra stuff? Do the children leave the nursery building/garden often? Why did you go with a nursery and not a CM?

I love my work so much that I was even doing it unpaid and paying for childcare out of my savings when dd was little. Takes all sorts...

I'm inclined to agree VT, though I'm still waiting for an answer to my question about what I am missing out on, and I don't believe you ever got a straight answer to your question about what you should have done when you found yourself as a single parent needing to work.

Funny how when you ask a simple question these WOHM-bashers can't answer isn't it....

It is good for the nation if women work. It is good for other women. It is good for your daughters as they see women as leaders, achievers, capable of performing brain surgery and leading nations rather than only fit to wipe bottoms and soothe a male ego and run a house. So of course the moral imperative is to work even if you don't like it, perhaps even if you feel it damages your children. Put your nation and other women above your own interests and those of your children sometimes even. But if you have the correct view which is that women working (and indeed men working) doesn't harm children and benefits them then you have a win win situation.

cory - childcare took all my earnings at one point but I still worked. I love my career. Not as much as I love my children, obviously, but I think it's great that many of us combine a great work life with parenting.

xenia as a feminist you offend me

SM - I think the same. Working keeps me sane. So it is good for me. It is good for my children because it pays for lots of stuff and gives them a role model. It is good for the nation because of the tax income, and because women having economic power is generally good.

Xenia - I'm a SAHM and my DP has already been given his notice from his City firm. It's not the best news we've had this month but it honestly won't shoot our children's life chances to bits. It's just a job fgs.

"I think it's realy important that they go in unless they are sick enough to stay in bed."

Unless they have a communicable disease, I am hoping?

[pointless, slightly snarky comment that I couldn't resist making - sorry - emoticon]

xenia's views are quite extreme!

I personally wouldnt work if it harmed my children (given that I am fortunate to have the choice).

But as it doesn't harm my children and is great for me (and for them) then I do!!

Women have always worked. I don't feel that I'm doing anything radical or original by combining work and having children!

I wonder who will have the last word ...

Keep it going, Quattro - not many spaces left!!!

PM - didn't know about DP's job - I'm sorry to hear that.

We can get by on dh's income. But I work because I prefer the balance of combining working with childcare. My children are quite full on and the break is welcome. I also continue to build up an impressive pension and pay down my mortgage at a frightful rate. It allows us to comfortably afford private schooling for the children. I invest and save for my children's future. Plus in today's financial climate, not putting all your eggs in one (incomeearning) basket is surely a godsend.

Can asif please just answer the question before the thread goes up in a puff of smoke.

What am I missing out on by working full time??

Just picked up on your post PM, really sorry to hear that. It's shite this credit crunch stuff. Lots gone from our firm too. Wishing you luck. HTH

PM, sorry to hear of your dh. I hope you are referring to a substantial redundancy payoff. Glad you are keeping things in perspective.

findtheriver

how about 'watching your children growing up - first hand -every step of the way'

dull boring or arse wiping though it may be

i like it

I do watch my children grow up first hand notanotter.

I don't find it dull - sorry that you do.

LLS - you are quite correct - women have always worked! This idea of quality time and going to aquariums etc is so recent. Even our parents/grandmothers, if they had the luxury to stay home, had no labour saving devices. Doing the washing took up a whole day. Kepping the place clean and tidy with no Mr Muscle and coal fires must have been exhausting. And no Cbeebies! Plus people generally had larger families. Society has survived all this.

In fact it is in recent years, where children are pandered to and can do no wrong, where we have the explosion of drink/drugs/knives/antisocial behaviour. Kids don't know how to entertain themselves anymore. I'm not advocating sending them back up chimneys at an early age, but....

goodness, people havew a lot to say this evening.

Re Victorians ('cause the rest of this discussion is passing in a blur), women worked outside the home as did their children. Many Victorian children were out working 12+ hours and saw very little of either parent. Free education for all wasn't introduced till late-ish Victorian times.

"Put your nation and other women above your own interests and those of your children sometimes even."

Is anybody else thinking about those posters encouraging women to go and work in munitions factories in WWII?

Xenia, I like your earlier post about your 24 years as a mother of 5. I cannot understand the missing out either. Nor like the OP has the worry of my dc loving their carers more ever crossed my mind. I worry that they are unhappy at nursery, but never about myself. Must be the difference in mindset between a person who chooses to SAHM and to WOHM.

As a happy WOHM of a happy dc who goes to nusery, can i have the last word please

pointydog - you are so right. I've done my family tree back to the mid 17th century. They were mostly agricultural families, but most of the women had a home/out of home occupation, be it char woman, making gloves, farm labourer etc....And some of these women had up to 14 children! The mind boggles.