To not give a stuff who stays and who goes?

[AMumInScotland]

Mumsnet is not a private members club, it's a public forum. I'm sad if people feel they have to go because of stalkers or other personally-directed unpleasantness, because that is unpleasant and not what forums are meant to be about.

But if people want to leave because things are not the same as they used to be when there were only a dozen people, and you could leave your door open all day, and it was all fields round here .... well, off you go then!

Change happens, deal with it.

'it has changed, it is not as good as the old days, too many new names' isn't necessarily slagging anyone off though is it? It's not the same as 'I don't like anyone here now'.

From what I can gather it has changed. It isn't the same. It's not even the same as when I first joined. Some of the people that posted frequently, that I enjoyed reading have left.

That's the truth and I've only been here just over a year. By saying that doesn't mean anything against newer posters.

Even 'too many new names' doesn't have to mean the actual posters, but the amount of people joining. There does seem to have been a massive influx of new posters recently, for good or bad, but if part of what you liked was sharing threads with the same people regularly but that is no longer happening then that's fine, non?

It's time people stopped becoming offended at perceived slights that they have decided someone must mean.

YANBU
I agree with Mum in Scotland
Things change and move on in life.
Doesn't make it better or worse.

How do you know whether people have left or just name changed? Surely there is no way of telling?

You have only been here a year VS Good grief, you are one of the newbies then??

Either way, perceived slights or not, some of the comments made were a bit barbed imo. We will just agree to disagree.

Either way, I don't give a hoot who has left, but I wish they would just quietly bugger off instead of wanting this great fanfare adn wailing!

I don't know anyone on MN and I'm pretty sure no-one knows me and I think it's still quite funny (been here nearly a year).

If you know the people who have left in RL then surely it's a bit odd to say that you "miss" them. No offence, but speaking as an outsider, lots of the people who have left were never "all that" imho. Read far funnier posts from other people!

YANBU

I so nearly posted a similar thread last but chickened out. I think mine would have been along the lines of:

"Goodbye, in-crowd, it's been a pleasure to be ignored and marginalised by you"

My point was similar to things that have been said on this thread...that the prevailing attitude that the site is crap now is quite offensive or mean to the vast majority of common or garden mumsnetters who use the site for parenting advice and support and for a laugh, and who in their infinite variety are full of great advice and often brimming with wit.

If I left, I wouldn't post to announce it to all of MN, why would I? Any RL friends (only one) would know anyway. It would be because I'm fed up, so I wouldn't want to start something that would keep me hooked into MN for a good few more days whilst I kept watch on my "goodbye" thread.

I'm a bit bored with MN at the moment, but only because of all these navel gazing discussions. I don't have a massive opinion on it, I just wish it would buck itself up and just BE again. I can't be bothered to up and LEAVE, for cheeerists sake. If I'm feeling irritated by it, or fed up, I just won't log on for a while, or post anything. Simple.

MN is a virtual world. It's too easy to get sucked into it's imagined social infrastructure. So, to be fair to a recent poster to announced her leaving, and I can appreciate she felt she needed to back away from the unhealthy "school girl" mentality she found herself quite paralysed by. It was clearly ingrained enough for her to feel like at least, with posting her goodbye, she'd get the gush of attention and recognition she was craving - and this isn't a criticism - she was very upfront about how odd MN was making her feel and behave.

Funnier and more sensible than flouncing is Psycho's relatively recent out and out request for validation in the form of (pretty much) an "How Popular Am I?" Post. Anyone craving confirmation of their place in the MN social set should take a leaf out of her book. Otherwise, we should all stop whingeing and just get on with the job of tearing each other down and building each other back up.

I posted an 'I'm taking a break' thread.
Because I was, I had a lot to do and my head wasn't exactly in a good place for MN at the time.
I posted it because I knew that otherwise people would wonder where I was, not everyone of course, but a few specific people have questioned if everything is ok when I have disappeared off the face of the earth mn.
It was quicker to type the thread than CAT everyone. Also that way people who may have wanted to speak to me about something specific (sometimes others have said 'Oh, you should talk to VS about that for example) then they wouldn't be expecting em to pop up at some point.
Nothing to do with a popularity contest at all. I will say that I didn't slag MN at all in that thread though, I just said I was off for a bit and why.

Sycamore, lovely post. I agree with you

Hi MrsR. Was wondering when we'd happen upon the same thread again - it's taken a bloody while!

sort of yanbu

I can think of two who left for serious reasons and people might have wondered, I mean, you might even think that something awful had happened I guess, and some people just want to say thank you

But the handwringing over the harsh reception of some flouncing especially when the leaver has been pretty conscience free about what they say and who they might upest is ridiculous.

New names (not saying newbies as most are prob amechangers) aren't tolerated very often any more, especially if someone puts something embarassing or very personal, we have someone reporting a constipation post today as she only has 2 threads, and the catching daughter masturbating one is just crazy

There is now a competition for troll finding, it's like they want to be seen as the cleverest 'look what I found before anyone else'

Threads that can be fun or really imformative don't get the chance to run anymore thanks to the troll spotters. Who cares if someone is trolling, unless they are scamming or being nasty to individuals, leavethem be, they can be very very funny

Why people need to announce they are leaving is beyond me, it's another look at me, i'm too good for this, just leave fgs

I have found the solution is to keep having more babies. That way, you still have a lot to talk about as you go right back to the start with the antenatal clubs, breast and bottle feeding, weaning etc. I got to know a lot of "newbies" on my ds4 antenatal thread and they are just as great as the people I chatted to just after having ds3!

I'm an oldie and do use mumsnet talk as a way of keeping in touch with mumsnetters I have meet in real life. And yes, it sometimes colours how I react to them on Talk. I am friendly to them! I can't see what's wrong about that - forming friendships is natural.

But also, I really love the fact that mumsnet enables me to drop into all sorts of conversations with total strangers. I make a conscious effort to balance my time between joining threads with people I 'know' and people I don't know.

I have no idea who has left, apart from Cod. I have no intention of leaving, even though I think mumsnet talk is a harsher place than it used to be.

To me, mumsnet used to be like an old friend - sometimes a bit moody, often straight talking, but basically had good manners, and was generally supportive. If someone posted an undeserved bitchy or bullying comment, chances are that other people would post to defend the victim or diffuse the situation. I am surprised that so many nasty posts go totally unchallenged on the threads now. What does that say, I wonder?

People come people go, it's life.
I have been here 4 years so have seen plenty of people come and go, there will always be new posters and they in turn will become oldies.
I think the problem is that as time goes on and we move throu the parenting stages, we decide what our opinions are on subjects, new posters join and ask things that we have already done many times "P&C parking anyone?"
and people start rolling their eyes and tutting, there are lots of subjects that I have no interest in, prams/weaning/ and many more. I read what interests me and post if I can help, the other stuff I ignore.
Hey puppymonkey I think you live near me.

I haven't even noticed people leaving. I'm not interested in cliques - the beauty of online forums for me is in being a large group with people coming and going all the time. It's always good to have new people IMO.

I haven't been on mn very long hmm 1 or 2 years? But I've been on quite a few other bbs and they ALL had periods of mass leavings and mass discontent (was part of such a movement once and we all set up a private bb). 'Tis the natural cycle off bbs.

All bbs get old because ineveitably the same topics come round again and again.

No, yanbu. I'm sick of hearing people moaning. They need to get a grip, things change. They need to start mingling with the other people on here and STOP ACCUSING EVERYONE OF BEING TROLLS. I am so so tired of it.

MN is not a private dinner dating service. I'm actually glad some of those people left, it's nicer around here without some of them.

i care, lots of really interesting people have left. seems quite dull atm

wish they'd come back

You know, scaredoflove, thanks to the "troll spotters" someone was kicked off here that was genuinely in need of help. Some people just like to be nasty and continued to wind the person up, even though the person in particular haadn't done anything or said anything to them.

MNHQ had a passport ID of the person, how much more evidence do you need to prove that someone is genuine?

not sure why I'm mentioned there?

In my opinion, if these "oldies" miss the old days and want it be just the dozen of them or whatever they should sod off and make their private forum, they can even set it so no newbies can join, wouldn't that be heaven?!!?

Here I'll even give you the URL www.proboards.com

In all seriousness though, everything changes and evolves... the owners of MN want it to be open for all parents/carers and why shouldn't it be?

it is harder to remember each poster and to assign a personality to them (I have also recently name changes even though have been here for 3 years!)...

But - I have not been around for a while - PLEASE can tell me what happened to Cod? A stalker? For real???????
please tell me!