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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give a stuff who stays and who goes?

224 replies

AMumInScotland · 30/10/2008 12:46

Mumsnet is not a private members club, it's a public forum. I'm sad if people feel they have to go because of stalkers or other personally-directed unpleasantness, because that is unpleasant and not what forums are meant to be about.

But if people want to leave because things are not the same as they used to be when there were only a dozen people, and you could leave your door open all day, and it was all fields round here .... well, off you go then!

Change happens, deal with it.

OP posts:
RainbowChaser · 30/10/2008 13:46

YANBU It just dosent matter!

jesuswhatnext · 30/10/2008 13:49

YANBU - am bored of all this hand-wringing
leave - don't leave, tis all the same to me.

dismemberingdora · 30/10/2008 13:50

only discovered mumsnet in the last 18 months. I lurve it and rely on it (unhealthily so?). I have some favourite posters and had my first fight (!) on here about 4/5 months ago, I was surprised how angry and upset I was. have gotten over it, now of course.
I don't know loads of people and so people flouncing off generally doesn't bother me (I'm all right Jack brigade member!) but I was sad when Cod went.
so i said it. I'm sitting on the fence!

DoubleToilandTroubleBluff · 30/10/2008 13:51

Agree OP.
It is getting a bit wearing.
Lets just get on with it!!!

Tortington · 30/10/2008 13:52

yip off you fuck hasta la vista

Tee2072 · 30/10/2008 13:53

YANBU.

Its an internet forum. You don't like it? Bye. No one is making you stay.

Of course, in my many years experience of 'net forums of many types, most of the time people only saying they are going to everyone will beg them to stay and then they stay.

lou031205 · 30/10/2008 16:37

YANBU to be honest all the leaving posts are a bit self-indulgent. If you are going to go, just go, don't do a massive announcement and then wait for the world to say "OH but you are the best/wittiest/kindest/most important MNer and the site won't be the same without you."

lou031205 · 30/10/2008 16:38

Different for Cod, though, IMO, because she had to leave abruptly for reasons not to do with MN itself.

Quattrocento · 30/10/2008 16:43

I don't give a stuff about who stays and goes.

I do give a stuff about split infinitives though

potatofactory · 30/10/2008 16:44

Why did cod have to leave?

The whining and wailing (as it's called by some on here) doesn't half make a newbie feel pointless and not worthy...

SqueakyPop · 30/10/2008 16:44

yanbu

BloodshotEyeballsintheScarySky · 30/10/2008 16:48

Good post OP. I very nearly left this morning when I saw yet another 'farewell' thread about how it's not the same anymore, old friends have gone blah blah. It is too much navel gazing and I thought FFS, that's it and deleted my bookmarks! (rebellious me!)

Then I heard Justine on the radio and smiled all the way through it so decided to come back . Of course I never got round to posting my farewell thread because no one would have cared or known who the fark I am I hate goodbyes!

And I have to say this though I'll probably get flamed. 95% of the people who left because 'it just isn't the same any more' actually left because Cod the great leader left. Don't get me wrong, Cod is great and the kick up the arse that most of us need and ironically, not very tolerant of navel gazing. I miss her posting although I'm scared of her and I really hope she's alright. But I find it strange that there was a mass exodus because she went. As someone rightly said, people who know her well are in contact in RL, so why hold it against the rest of us that we aren't Cod?

So now, from me, if you're leaving, bye then. Have a nice life and we'll try to survive without you!

On with the show!

LynetteScavo · 30/10/2008 16:49

YANBU not to give a sruff, but personally I do, because some of the posters who have left were very,very funny.

Quadrophenia · 30/10/2008 16:53

people have always banged on about MN not being the same it's been going on for years. For such a bunch of liberal lefties I'm suprised at how much vitriol is focused on the apparent dumbing down on this site. We'll argue about defending those less fortunate but just don't wantthem posting here

TheHedgeWitch · 30/10/2008 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Miyazaki · 30/10/2008 16:58

Oh god, I totally agree. I was a bit sad about Cod, as she was funny and very good at puncturing MN egotism plus secretly kind and the circs were shit. But could not care less about the rest. All the 'I'm leaving...' threads and the faces. Just stop posting!

Bink · 30/10/2008 16:59

You know - I don't especially mind certain really big, really imposing and consensus-creating personalities not being around. I never really enjoyed that vibe. And it was difficult to "just avoid" it - it was pervasive.

wicked · 30/10/2008 17:00

I don't get why everyone is pining over Cod. Sure, it's a shame that she has left because of external stuff, but her behaviour here was always going to make enemies.

She was very unpleasant to anyone who didn't think or behave like her and was very, very superficial.

chipmonkey · 30/10/2008 17:08

Oh, come on! Cod is a very good hearted person and as to making enemies, yes she spoke her mind but always in a good humoured way and she took this place for what it was, an internet forum, not to be taken too seriously. She made some some good friends on here who all say she is lovely in RL and has a heart of gold. And it wasn't exactly "external stuff" that made her leave either, her RL stalker was stalking her on here and no-one deserves that!

Issy · 30/10/2008 17:37

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request

Saturn74 · 30/10/2008 17:49

I give a stuff if posters I like leave because they are no longer getting the support they need.

I have noticed some posters lately - don't know if they are new or 'rebranded' - who seem to ride roughshod over whichever thread they post on, with seemingly no thought for the feelings of others.

Wit and sarcasm I like.

Pointless vitriol is tedious.

If you feel you can no longer post for fear of being ripped to shreds, then that's pretty shit, really.

Of course this is just an open forum on the internet - it doesn't mean people don't get upset by the comments of others though.

Tact, respect and diplomacy cost nothing, but their supplies appears to be dwindling.

Original poster
AMumInScotland · 30/10/2008 20:15

I think I've worked out why this has been bugging me so much - there seems to be an implication in some of the "wailing" threads that if many more of the "important" people leave, then the place will be ruined beyond all recognition and might as well be shut down entirely. But that attitude is pretty thoroughly insulting to all the hundreds (thousands?) of regular posters who contribute to the forum, but are never likely to be mentioned on any of the "royalty" or "favourites" threads, all the ones whose arrival on a thread doesn't get a fanfare, and wouldn't expect to get one if they left. MN is just as much about us - the quiet majority - as it is about a small number of well-known posters who have been here since forever, or whose name is immediately recognisable.

(Oh and sorry about the split infinitive Quattro, I was busy remembering not to offend anyone by swearing in the title )

OP posts:
potatofactory · 30/10/2008 20:25

Well said, AMumInScotland

from the little-known potatofactory!

ScottishMummy · 30/10/2008 20:27

you are as god as your last post and that is it.no one deserves enhanced elevated status

and the ole gimmers chuffing on about newbies makes me smile.ah yes MN of yore times of no argy bargy,perfect spelling

then there are so called so called newbies whining "it is cliquey" if they dont get 300+ posts

tbh MN is so big dont know how anyone can keep track off comings/goings.

MN it is the sum of its parts.all contributions make MN

slightlycrumpled · 30/10/2008 20:29

Yes, amuminscotland that was very well put!