to really wish I could give up work and be a SAHM even though my kids are all school all day?

[memoo]

Don't get me wrong, I myself was a SAHM until 2 years ago and I know that it has its own set of problems and stress's. I don't for one minute think it is an easy ride looking after small children.

But my children are both in school now and so I went back to work full time.

The trouble is that I am struggling to cope with it all whilst keeping my sanity intact. Although I have a fulltime job the pile of stuff I need to do at home hasn't got any smaller.

Every night I get home from work and I have a huge list of things to do.

• a load on washing, plus drying, putting away etc

-homework/reading/spellings with kids -walk and see to dog -make an evening meal -wash up and tidy kitchen, usually have to do breakfast dishes too

• make kids pack lunches for next day
• bath kids
• the list goes on and on

DP doesn't get in til gone 8 most nights so he is not really here to help.

Our weekends are spent trying to catch up with all the other domestic stuff that we didn't have time to do in the week.

So now I have started thinking that I should stay at home, even though my kids are at school all day. Life would be less stressful and I might actually have time to catch my breath once in a while.

nothing to add but

that dishwasher will change your life

g'luck

Hmmm, anything slightly less drastic memoo?

No cleaner here, not least because would have to clean before cleaner cleaned!

Congrats on dishwasher! I'd never be without mine, meal planning has saved me time since I went back to work, also clean bathroom while dc are in bath (obviously wait til they are out the bath before you clean that)

pointy, yes i am a TA in a reception class, exausting and crap wages!

we do have a shower but my mardy children won't get in it, the water gets in their faces drives me mad tbh.

Saw supernanny in the week telling off a mum for still bathing her 9 year old when she could do it herself, and here am i doing the exact same thing!

erm, cricket bat to the knees then plonker, save his looks

I've not a dishwasher. dh does nearly all dishes, though.

exactly, you have crap wgaes. Don;t get a cleaner.

Get YOUR CGIULDren IN THE SHOWER! No mucking about. Get firm.

CGIULDren cycling christ what are they do they need showered?probably

Looks? Now i know you're joking ...

I was having trouble sorting out my caps, SM

i liked it every woman should have at least one showered CGIULDren

flylady is your answer

you are going to do less work doing flylady's system because you are doing an insane amount of housework

and if your dp's idea of 'pitching in' is measuring cupboards and buying a dishwasher and doing his own ironing, I would stop washing his clothes or making a meal for him

The fact that you had to "badger" your dp to buy a dishwasher is ringing huge alarm bells for me, I'm really sorry

it does suggest that he either has no idea how to run a house, or he doesn't give a bugger

Key Question -0 how big is your house? No one has asked. Is it a small boxy thing? Is it big with many rooms?

more to the point why would you would to stay at home cleaning etc every damn day.

when you croak no one will say sorry memoo is gone but she kept a nice hoose

life too frigging sort to get het up about your hoose

sorry for the slight hijack but a few of you have said you don't iron. not even linen shirts/skirts or things with pleats in? what about rugby shirts? i find the collar never looks right if i don't iron them.

You don't need a cleaner - save that money and spend it on wine and shoes!

You need to:

Get a dishwasher
Make your children pull their fingers out. They are plenty old enough to sort out their own breakfast dishes and clean the pets out.
Tell your DH to get home earlier. It's all very admirable that he spends so much time with his other children, but he maybe needs reminding that he has a wife and 2 stepchildren that also need him.

Oh thank goodness you wrote that for me Sidge - i was dying to say just those words!

I have a full-time cleaner. I love her. My house is always perfectly spotless without me ever lifting a finger at all, and my pants are ironed. Just shows that it takes all sorts . When I can't afford it anymore I shall live with more mess, spend more time tidying, and be a bit wistfully nostalgic.

a full time cleaner? Meaning she is in your house from 9 till 5?

How can it be unreasonable to wish for something?

Part time is a good idea. i think (from my sahm / carer aspect) that someting outside the home is good for you even if its a college course- but again, just on my own experiences as someone whose view is skewed by the impossibility iyswiom?

'sorry for the slight hijack but a few of you have said you don't iron. not even linen shirts/skirts or things with pleats in? what about rugby shirts? i find the collar never looks right if i don't iron them. '

you're right it doesn't sit right

but hey its not terminal lol

D'you know, I've just read this thread from start to finish and part-way through I read out the original timetable to DH, in a 'can you believe this poor woman does so much?' way.

He nodded vigorously and said 'yes, a routine, that's what YOU need!'

Now, where can I bury his body that won't arouse suspicion.......?

she is of course a housekeeper, and also does the school run in the afternoon.

I don't know what a housekeeper is. That's why I asked is it someone who is employed in the one house from 9 to 5