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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dh should not have spent £50 on some flowers for my IL'd 50th Anniversary?

184 replies

GordonTheGopher · 02/09/2008 18:23

Money is tight.

Flowers die.

He went behind my back because he knew I'd be cross.

I am.

I would never dream of spending that much on my parents' anniversary.

AIBU?

If I am I will accept it and not put him in the doghouse tonight!

OP posts:
Original poster
GordonTheGopher · 02/09/2008 18:23

Oops that should say IL's in the title.

OP posts:
BecauseImWorthIt · 02/09/2008 18:24

YABU - sorry. It's his parents, and being married for that long is really something to celebrate.

expatinscotland · 02/09/2008 18:24

If money is tight then, yes, YANBU

OneLieIn · 02/09/2008 18:25

But 50 years, that's a real achievement.

Depends on how tight money really is and how you feel about your in laws. My DH spent a load on his parents' 60th anniversary, but he wanted to do that to show how much he cared for them (not a great family for expressions of love).

OneLieIn · 02/09/2008 18:25

But 50 years, that's a real achievement.

Depends on how tight money really is and how you feel about your in laws. My DH spent a load on his parents' 60th anniversary, but he wanted to do that to show how much he cared for them (not a great family for expressions of love).

sagacious · 02/09/2008 18:25

50th Anniversary is a pretty damn big one though!

I think (despite the cost) that its the one time you should really splash out.

Sorry. but YABU

OneLieIn · 02/09/2008 18:25

Sorry, only meant it once

DanJARMouse · 02/09/2008 18:27

Everyone on here knows my financial situation is shite, but I will say, DH spent £50 on his parents for his mums 50th birthday!

Ok, so it was a contribution towards theatre tickets in london, but hey ho!

expatinscotland · 02/09/2008 18:27

Yeah, it's a big deal, but £50 on flowers when money is tight?!

YANBU.

BecauseImWorthIt · 02/09/2008 18:27

Although, giving some concession to you/your situation, £50 was a bit much! If he bought them at a florist and delivered them himself then £50 is extravagant. But if he sent them Interflora (or equivalent) then £50 doesn't go that far.

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 02/09/2008 18:27

They are his parents, they have been married 50 years which is quite an achievment these days. They brought him in to the world they fed and clothed him and put him through the education system. He is understandably proud of them and he wanted to buy them some flowers.

He could possibly have spent it on a dustcatcher ornament, but he chose to spend it on flowers. Cut him some slack.

expatinscotland · 02/09/2008 18:29

£50 is a huge amount of money, though.

For flowers, especially.

OneLieIn · 02/09/2008 18:31

Not if Interflora!

Original poster
GordonTheGopher · 02/09/2008 18:31

He bought them out of guilt because we couldn't go to a meal to celebrate.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 02/09/2008 18:33

why not? he could have gone himself.

littlelapin · 02/09/2008 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FAQ · 02/09/2008 18:36

my grandparents got some flowers for their 50th, they pressed them, and we found them carefully preserved in a photo album last year when my granddad died - 15yrs after they were first given them.

However, if you were short of cash them I perhaps think you are NBU

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 02/09/2008 18:42

Would it be Ok if he'd spent the £50 on a meal? Or on an "experience"? (Theatre, day out, something like that)

Or maybe on something more durable?

Is it that flowers die that they're not "worth" the £50?

HonoriaGlossop · 02/09/2008 18:42

I think it's missing the point about it being flowers and the fact that they are going to die. They are a gorgeous, luxury, special thing to get because of the fact they don't last forever and I think for fifty years of hard labour, I mean marriage, then a present from your son is a lovely gesture, whether the present is something that will last or not.

I definitely agree that he should have agreed a budget with you and kept to it though. But it was obviously important to him to make the gesture and you don't sound like you'd have been very receptive so he has taken a male way round, eg stick head in sand, do the deed and hope the problem just goes away....

TheHedgeWitch · 02/09/2008 18:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lalalonglegs · 02/09/2008 18:56

Spending £50 on anniversary is fine. Flowers show distinct lack of imagination - might as well have given them a voucher.

LilRedWG · 02/09/2008 18:57

I'd let this one slide. Tt's his parent's 50th, just be glad that he cares enough about family to do it.

I agree he should have consulted with you, but I'd still let it go.

Original poster
GordonTheGopher · 02/09/2008 18:58

It's a fuck load of money.

Am most annoyed at the fact he didn't tell me - only found out as MIL had left a voicemail to say thanks.

Would have found out anyway as I do all the online banking!

Some of your arguments are persuasive but I'm still v annoyed.

OP posts:
Original poster
GordonTheGopher · 02/09/2008 18:58

Will try and let it go LRW but I'm not very good at that... I like to stew a little.

OP posts:
littlelapin · 02/09/2008 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.