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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a tad p*ssed off when people say...

127 replies

youcannotbeserious · 19/07/2008 09:52

..... well, your DH doesn't need to worry - DS is def. his!!!

Now, to be fair, DS does look like DH but would people have seriously questioned his parentage if he didn't????

This isn't just one random comment - at least half a dozen people have commented on it when I sent the photos out...

What sort of woman do they think I am????

SO, AIBU to be ticked off about it or is it just something people say????

OP posts:
lubyluby · 19/07/2008 09:53

yes it does tick you offa bit. i knwo peopel are usually saying it in a joking way, but yes it raises questiosn in your mind about what peopel really think of you.

after two ds who are the spitting image of my dh, we had dd who is blonde and blue eyed and peoepll always ask where she came from!!!

lubyluby · 19/07/2008 09:54

dh dark ahired and blue eyed, i'm drk hair and green eyes

but my dad, brother, nan were all blonde and blue eyed.

TheFallenMadonna · 19/07/2008 09:55

Nah, it's just something to say.

Don't read anything into it.

themildmanneredjanitor · 19/07/2008 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sim43 · 19/07/2008 09:57

I had this when I had my DS. Rumours had gone round about me about 2 years before about me and another colleague, which were totally untrue. When I had my DS and went into work, my boss who thought he was being kind said, "well no-one will be able to say DH is not the father" I gave him a look that said why would anyone question it? He went a bit and walked away. DS did and still does look just like his father and if people were really thinking about that then perhaps I am glad he did! I suppose if he had come out looking like me they would never have got their answer! It is very rude of people to say that to you, tell them where to get off.

Hecate · 19/07/2008 09:59

It's nothing. It's just them saying that your child looks a lot like his father. They're not suggesting they think you sleep around!! It's just one of those things that a lot of people seem to say. I don't know why.

cory · 19/07/2008 10:02

Just something to say. It is difficult when people shove photos under your nose and you know you're expected to say something, and everybody else has already said all the obvious things and you know there are so many ways of giving offense to different people.

Ds is blond and blue-eyed and dh is dark and Mediterranean, but people don't actually go questioning his paternity.

Original poster
youcannotbeserious · 19/07/2008 10:02

Oh, good - I'm glad it's not just me!!!

I've only heard the expression once or twice before (and once when a random stranger told me that DSD1 'was very like me' - really?? because I'm not related to her at all!!!)

OP posts:
lucyellensmum · 19/07/2008 10:21

We had great fun when DD was born, and when i was pregnant. I used to work very closely with a collegue and we were very good friends and our conversations were always lewd and close to the mark. If you knew me you might realise that all my conversations are close to the mark. So of course when eyebrows were raised in the department, we played up to it. Despite the fact that him and his new partner (another very close friend) had just "outed" their relationship. She was in another relationship that ended badly, its complicated. Anyway, when DD was born she had, and still does have, a "spock" or "elf" ear. The tip of one of her ears is a bit creased, maybe from the way she was in the womb. So, our friend also had the same ear - DP and I had great fun with him in the hospital when we pointed out the ear, his DP caught on to the joke quickly enough and played up to it too. The people in the other beds were .

We were almost tempted to get "who's the daddy" T-shirts for DDs christening (friend is godfather), but we figured the priest might not approve.

I used to get comments that DD was almost identical to DP, i could never see it, but now, thankfully, she now is a mini me We still refer to our friend as DD's other daddy sometimes.

Bumperlicious · 19/07/2008 10:32

I got from an old neighbour across the hall "Doesn't she look like her dad - well, it's a good job really".

Lizzylou · 19/07/2008 10:32

My 2 look just like me, well the eldest is looking more like his Daddy as he gets older (and loses weight ).

cluelessnchaos · 19/07/2008 10:34

I hear this all the time, but dd2 and ds1 look exactly like him, have also been told that dd1 looks just like him, though pretty sure he wasnt in the room when she was conceived.

LoopyLoz · 19/07/2008 10:44

Oh you always get snide comments and comments that can be taken the wrong way. My Aunt sees my DS (11 months) once every 2 weeks, if that, and always says "oh he's nothing like his dad is he, he acts nothing like him" and I snapped last week and said "Like you know my baby, you see him once/twice a month!"

I felt bad but it shut her up!!

wishfort · 19/07/2008 12:02

The other side of it is what used to happen to us back in the day. DH is the father of DS. DS has my name. We were constantly asked if DH was DS's father, even though she couldn't be more like him if she tried, and looks NOTHING like me at all.

Original poster
youcannotbeserious · 19/07/2008 15:11

ooohh... wishfort - that must be annoying!!!!

I must admit, having DS is what's prompted me to change my name, though - I did not bother after we married!

OP posts:
lulumama · 19/07/2008 15:12

dn';t get upset. people say it to me about both of mine.. i just say, yes, we know who the father is, just trying to work out who the mother might be!. make light of it, it is just one of those things people say without thinking about it

itati · 19/07/2008 15:13

I have said it about mine when people comment on how alike they are.

Don't worry to much. I don't think people are seriously commenting on your morals.

I know someone who had 3 girls and they are all completely different looking with regards to colouring. All same parents.

Youcanthaveeverything · 19/07/2008 15:25

It's just a way of commenting that he looks like his dad, in what people think is a light hearted jokey way.

I wouldn't imagine for a minute that anyone is seriously qustioning your fidelity or suggesting you are promiscuous.

Seriously, not for a minute.

It's chit chat.

You seem very easily offended.

Oblomov · 19/07/2008 15:27

oh no, I love it when people say that.
I say, yes well he's certianly not the milkmans.
No milkman has delivered in our area for years, but .....

Oblomov · 19/07/2008 15:28

YABU

Original poster
youcannotbeserious · 19/07/2008 15:31

Youcan'thaveeverything - I was really just joking.... I don't really think anyone would question DS!!

But 8 people??? ( I just counted them!!!) Out of 19? That's quite a trend - or maybe all my friends have the same sense of hmour!!!

OP posts:
TheMagnificent7 · 19/07/2008 15:32

I thought everyone knew the answer to this ? It's what people say when you have an ugly baby.

Youcanthaveeverything · 19/07/2008 15:32

About 2 weeks after ds2 was born DS1 asked one morning 'whose his daddy?'.

I don't think he was implying anything.

The other night a few friends were over I said to DS1 something like 'that's beacuse of your Father', there was a pause in the conversation so DH quipeed 'That's me by the way.'

We all laughed heartily (Ok so it wasn't that funny) but I don't think DH actually thought anyone was wondering who DS's father was.

Get the drift?

itati · 19/07/2008 15:44

Ignore The Magnificent 7.

Original poster
youcannotbeserious · 19/07/2008 15:49

ANd presumably an ugly DH too!!!! Magnificent7

OP posts:
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