to be a tad p*ssed off when people say...

[youcannotbeserious]

..... well, your DH doesn't need to worry - DS is def. his!!!

Now, to be fair, DS does look like DH but would people have seriously questioned his parentage if he didn't????

This isn't just one random comment - at least half a dozen people have commented on it when I sent the photos out...

What sort of woman do they think I am????

SO, AIBU to be ticked off about it or is it just something people say????

[youngbutnotdumb]

Okay everyone, I realise there's still a bit of a debate going on about 'racist' comments I made.

As I have already said I didn't mean to offend anyone, yes I could have used a better word but in RL is just a describing word to me. So was not meant in any mallice I can assure you.

Sorry again to all who may have misinterprated my comment.

[Youcanthaveeverything]

Good call lulumama, I'll think I'll do the same.

[TheMagnificent7]

Crikey. That warmed up a bit.

Lulumama, I apologise wholeheartedly if you were offended by the comments I made. Especially after you said that all jews have big noses. I assumed you weren't very bright because you not only took a comment , understandably, out of context (insert youngbutnotdumbs apology here), but then turned it around into the insult that you so copiously abhore. The comment about working in a call centre was in direct response to you not being able to say I don't want to talk/chat/speak with you, and using the nonsensical, call-centresque phrase 'I do not wish to engage with you'.

As you say, best thing to do is to turn to alcohol to calm yourself down.

I am part Jewish, and no offence taken. I have a Roman nose (roman all over my face...thanks, I'm here all week). All comments made were light-hearted, and very jokey, and I fully appreciate people like YCBS, YCHE and Tinksmum to not only see the funny side, but to stand up to people like ititi, lulumama, and Mmmlint.

MmeLint - You used the term 'blackie' as an example using a directly offensive term racially. That's so the point. You have no idea of the offence that caused, as well as lulumama insisting all Jews have big noses. You also went on to explain about a mix up over your childrens parentage in a restaurant in Gemrney, and passed it off as "Tbh, I was not offended and neither was DH (once he got over the shock), we put it down to the waiter being rather young and naive. I laughed.). Surely just like Youngbutnotdumb yes?

The comparisons were not racism. GOY.

I think if you want to go Magnificent7 bashing, then read all of my posts, especially the recipe ones, disability ones, personal jobfinding help ones, techinical ones, litereary ones, and the ones on how to make your food taste better, especially if you have special diaetary need. Look at the victim of abuse ones, the alcoholic partner ones, and especially try and find the ones for people that are bullied by people that think shouting loudly about crap over long periods of time isn't generally demoralising.

Then, when you've read it, come back and paint me a really nice picture of a poxy troll because you've got nothing better to do with your time than get your panties in a bunch rather than admit you got the wrong end of the stick. You are making MN a minefield, and a desperate bore for those of us with genuinely helpful, or polite, funny things to say.

Finally. Click this

[TheMagnificent7]

Oh the irony of spelling literary wrong. I'm sorry.

[lulumama]

please can you stop saying that i said all jews have big noses. i said it followed by a as in , 'i am sceptical of your comment'. your apolgogy is clearly not sincere, you made rude personal comments with no other agenda other than to insult me and make the debate go to a whole other level.

if you read any of my other posts, you will see that i too am a helpful and kind poster, so why you felt the need to be rude and aggresive is beyond me

stirring things up , making things nasty and personal is for whose benefit?

i don;t enjoy being insulted, i don;t enjoy being thought ill of, i don;t enjoy having to justify why i was offended. you clearly got a big kick out of it

would you have preferred me to tell you to fuck off, rather than my polite way of saying i no longer wished to engage with you?

i am sure MN is big enough we can avoid each other from now on, as you clearly find me contemptible

[TheMagnificent7]

Lol. You're killing me, really. Just leave it alone. Talk about flogging a dead horse. I apologised for the comments. Take the sincerity as graciously as you can though.

My point...

So, you'll be off then, right ? TFFT

[fryalot]

OMG I cannot believe that lulu is being jumped on on this thread!

Fwiw, I think she was entirely justified in being offended by the original comment (as indeed I am) but whether she was justified or not, she certainly does not deserve the insults that she has been subject to.

In my experience, if someone says that they have been offended by something, the correct response is to apologise (as YBND did, in fact do) not to take the piss, accuse them of being thick and having no sense of humour etc.

TM7 - you didn't actually apologise for your comments, you made a half-hearted "sorry if you were upset" post, which means shit.

oh, btw, sorry if you felt offended by my last paragraph

[youcannotbeserious]

Hey guys... I'm sorry - I really didn't mean anything but light hearted banter with this thread... I just thought it was a bit funny (funny haha!) that quite a few of our friends had made the same comment about our DS.

While I personally didn't find the whole Jewish / Roman nose thing at all insulting (and I do have a fcking huge nose! which is a family trait), I do agree that Lulumama* doesn't deserve the insults, she really doesn't... I've encountered her before and her posts are kind and thoughful and considerate.

[AbbeyA]

I think it is a very light hearted comment that should be taken in the same way! I have a friend whose DD is the spitting image of her DH, you can't help but comment!

[TheMagnificent7]

Erm...anybody actually read anything I've said, or are those horses a bit high ?

I said that I thought the comment by youngbutnotdumb were ill thought out. Then I commented on the irony of lulumama using emoticons without noses to highlight her shock at a comment about...noses. Then she said all jews have big noses. That'll be a crime be me because...

I positively scolded one of the other posters for using the word 'blackie' and have complained to MN, as I have done about lulumama's racist (apparently) comment. I'm part jewish afterall, and the pompous arses on here jumping all over posts is just ridiculous.

I apologised to lulumama, although being asked if you work in a call centre isn't an insult (should be, but isn't).

The shouters are pathetic. It was a really funny post about light hearted comments regarding the things people say. You sourpusses have just turned it into something diststeful, and highlighted your own petty prejudices.

Pathetic. And I can't be bothered to put a stupid emoticon to highlight what I can say in words.

And lulumama, I really would prefer if you didn't ask me to tell you to f**k off. Impolite is another you can add to your list whilst you pour that g&t. This is my first experience of you, it's not very pleasant.

[TheMagnificent7]

"please can you stop saying that i said all jews have big noses. i said it followed by a as in , 'i am sceptical of your comment"

Er, no you didn't. That would make you a liar too. Have a read of your posts.

[LongLiveGreenElizabeth]

I used to get the opposite. My x was half black and people used to look at my straight fair-haired, blue-eyed daughter and say stupid things, and then I'd end up giving them a biology lesson, and then I'd think, why am I bothering?, they will think I am protesting too much.

To make matters worse, my son has goldy curly hair and brown eyes so I've also been asked if they had the SAME Dad.

They're both lovley but they don't look like anybody except themselves.

[LongLiveGreenElizabeth]

I have never met a Jewish person with a big nose. A nose like SJP's might have a Jewish shape, although not particularly, but imo, her nose is not big. I know a few Irish people who have a nose like SJP's so I think it's more a case of people noticing when somebody neatly fits the stereotype that already exists.

Have I made things worse? I hope not.

[youngbutnotdumb]

Ach LLGE don't think it's even about that anymore LOL U wont have made it worse as its gone I think.

I mafe that comment in humour and it got misinterpreted into something it wasnt but I apologised and I think it's been taken on board although am not sure. Dont actually know why lulu is getting abuse now but think the thread has gone off track.

[LongLiveGreenElizabeth]

I shouldn't post when I've only read the op!

[TinkerBellesMum]

LLGE, you should meet my family! My cousins husband is quite slim and it makes his nose look even bigger. Like I've said before, the Jews are a very big family and have familiy traits. Not all have the same family traits, just like in any family. It's one feature that's quite strong in my family. Mum was glad we don't have a nose like my dad's and my SIL always checked when her babies were born how big the nose is.

[Flum]

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

historically it is estimated that around 30% of children are not fathered by who they ahem , should have been.

so it is an understandable joke.

[theressomethingaboutmarie]

Ha yes - we have this too! My DD is very pale like me but has blonde hair and huge blue eyes. I have green/brown eyes with red hair and my DH has blue eyes and dark brown hair. We saw some friends on Saturday who jokingly asked if I had something to tell my DH as DD is so blonde....

[mamadiva]

Hi I see there was an argument on here is it finished? Can I butt in now? But for the point I can see YBND and MAG7's comments caused offence LOL.

Anyway I get this all the time, my DS is his dad's double it's very annoying Why doesn't he look like me? Haha. Then again I look nothing like either of my parents but I am literally the spitting image of my Aunt which is kin d of strange.

[ScottishMummy]

my boyfriends mum nods her head sagely and says "dont know who LO looks like"

har de har when it is mini me and daddy.everyone else can see it, but not her

[MmeLindt]

Magnificent7
Sorry to drag this all up again but I have not been online for a couple af days and find that I have been jumped on for using the term "blackie" in my post.

I used the word to demonstrate that for some people to say someone has a "Jewish nose" is as offensive as saying "he has a nose like a blackie".

I am not racist, I would NEVER use the term "blackie". I apologise if I have inadvertantly offended anyone.

[TinkerBellesMum]

But "blackie" is a racist term and "Jewish" is not, it wasn't as if she said "Yid nose" or any other derogatory word for a Jew.

[ScottishMummy]

blackie is racist it is derogatory term specifically directed at black people skin colour

i am surprised you not aware of negative connotations or how it could be used to be offensive/provocative

[TinkerBellesMum]

ScottishMummy, who was that aimed at? We've all just said that "blackie" is racist.

[ScottishMummy]

it was a contribution not aimed at anyone person.dont need to ask permission to contribute as far as i know?so i appear to be adding a consistent view then