Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to want to continue to sign a homework diary in year 8

196 replies

glitterfairy · 16/07/2008 07:43

I wrote a message in my sons homework diary this week which was a little tongue in cheek but I am sick of signing it in the shower every week.

I think when he is 13 her really ought to take responsibility for his homework and I should not have to sign a boring book every week which I dont look at and often there is nothing in it anyway.

I can understand in primary school but really in year 8 it shoudlnt be needed surely?

OP posts:
Nikkitwotimes · 16/07/2008 07:44

puzzled

why aren't you looking at it?

why is there nothing in it?

allgonebellyup · 16/07/2008 07:52

she said because it is her sons responsibility as he is 13

Slouchy · 16/07/2008 07:54

And this is why lots of kids who do well at primary school start to slide in high school.
Parents feel their kids need to take responsibility, yet the kids are not emotionally mature enough; teachers are too stretched to stand over pupils ensuring that h/w is copied down. Ergo - h/w not done, pupil gets in trouble and decides everyone at school hates them etc..etc.

keep signing it, there's a love. Take a bit of time to discuss his work with him. Find out why it is n't being used. And work WITH the school, not against it. It is for your ds's benefit after all.

Slouchy · 16/07/2008 07:56

And with that, I will log off cos I am due to start work (in a school) in 10 mins. Or perhaps the children should take responsibilty for their own learning today? they don't need an adult to help them do they? [hmmm]

Sobernow · 16/07/2008 07:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SqueakyPop · 16/07/2008 08:02

You should be reading his diary when you sign it... You are signing to say you have seen it.

RusselBrussel · 16/07/2008 08:04

I agree with slouchy - keep at it he is only 13. And why is it a 'boring' book? It is a homework diary for your dc, he is presumably important to you, so is his future. By calling the book boring you sound like a petulant teen yourself

Give him responsibility in other areas. (My friend decided not to remind her ds he needed his football kit, hence her ds missed out on trials for the school football team (no kit no trial)and therefore on being part of the team. Harsh, but he learnt his lesson.)
However, with regards to education, that is surely too important to just hand over responsibility?

Nikkitwotimes · 16/07/2008 08:10

agree with the others and add that you said "there was often nothing in it"

you need to make sure he's doing it,that there is something in it and that you support his learning as you are signing it.

Homework isn't boring, it supports learning.

SoupDragon · 16/07/2008 08:14

Why should he have to do boring homework every week if you can't be ar$ed to simply check a book and sign it to say he's done it?

purits · 16/07/2008 08:16

I'm with Glitter.
I used to religiously sign off DD's book every week i.e. sign to say that I noted, yet again, that hardly any homework had been set (and yes, I did make notes in the book to that effect). The timetable said they should get something like 11 homeworks a week but she got 2, if that.
Then one week, as an experiment, I stopped signing. No-one from the school contacted me to ask why I wasn't signing anymore. That just proves that it was, yet again, an example of schools going through the motions so they could tick a box:
Shall we make a homework timetable? Yes. Shall we actually set homework? No
Shall we spend money on a planner? Yes. Shall we check to see that pupils/parents actually use it? No

So the school, instead of giving my child a good education, has taught her that as long as you have plans & policies & tick-boxes, it does not matter if you don't actually do anything because no-one cares and no-one notices.

sarah293 · 16/07/2008 08:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
glitterfairy · 16/07/2008 08:24

He does do his homework very religiously when he gets it and has glowing school reports.

I so agree Riven. the school has seen my note and sent me a letter telling me to sign it next year.

I truly believe that at secondary school kids should be treated as though they are responsible and that if we constantly check on them and treat them as though they cant do anything for themselves they will not be able to cope when they are asked to take responsibility for their own learning at uni or at GCSE or A levels.

My job is to make sure he knows that there are consequences to him not applying himself and frankly he is completely hysterical if he misses any deadlines or hasnt done something to the best of his ability.

I dont need to check on him as he does that for himself.

OP posts:
Original poster
glitterfairy · 16/07/2008 08:26

purits i also think it is a tickbox exercise and dont want him thinking that all rules in life apply and that because bureaucrats make us do things they are sensible.

OP posts:
sarah293 · 16/07/2008 08:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

purits · 16/07/2008 08:31

You're right, riven. She wants to be a Government worker when she grows up.

chopchopbusybusy · 16/07/2008 08:31

I think it's more important to sign homework diaries when children are older because in my experience that is when they are less likely to complete homework. I used to hate signing the reading book every night at First school and always felt obliged to comment. There are only so many ways you can say "DD read well tonight".

I'm not sure what you mean about the book being boring. DDs planner just lists what homework has been set for the week, not the work itself. Sometimes she asks me to look at work or help and sometimes she just gets on with it by herself. Surely it's a way of taking an interest in what your DCs are doing at school.

AbbeyA · 16/07/2008 08:32

I think that it is a good thing to sign, it keeps you up to date with what they should be doing.In an ideal world they should be wonderfully self motivated and take responsibility for their own learning but in reality, as I have 3 boys, they need a bit of a shove!

Beetroot · 16/07/2008 08:34

the ds's just sign it for me now!

sarah293 · 16/07/2008 08:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AbbeyA · 16/07/2008 08:39

I don't sign now that DS is in 6th form, that is 2 years preparation for uni. I would much rather sign a book once a week than have a phone call when course work is overdue.

Blandmum · 16/07/2008 08:46

YABU

It is (or should be) a useful communication between school and home

agree that maturity/taking responsibility is vital, but I'd still want to know what was going on in schoo in rather more detail than the average 13 will give out!

sarah293 · 16/07/2008 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
glitterfairy · 16/07/2008 21:07

I cannot imagine constantly checking what my kids are doing.

a) I would find it boring

and b) I trust them.

beety

OP posts:
lucyellensmum · 16/07/2008 21:19

you find what your children are doing boring??

Beetroot · 16/07/2008 21:22

It is not to do with the checking.

I trust my kids,
I know when they do or don't have homework
I help them, if I can and they want withtheir homeork

I do not need to sign something saying I have done this- saying I am a good parent.

If I need to know something then I will get a letter/email/phone call

I have never read anything of worth in the diary - that is for my eyes

Swipe left for the next trending thread