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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

not to want to continue to sign a homework diary in year 8

196 replies

glitterfairy · 16/07/2008 07:43

I wrote a message in my sons homework diary this week which was a little tongue in cheek but I am sick of signing it in the shower every week.

I think when he is 13 her really ought to take responsibility for his homework and I should not have to sign a boring book every week which I dont look at and often there is nothing in it anyway.

I can understand in primary school but really in year 8 it shoudlnt be needed surely?

OP posts:
ellideb · 18/07/2008 22:11

Thanks Juuule , fine now, like you say, I'm in control of my own life and its just taught me a valuable lesson on how not to damage my own kids!

juuule · 18/07/2008 22:13

So not judged solely on the fact the planner wasn't signed.

pinkyp · 18/07/2008 22:32

My parents use to sign my planner, i liked it - i wouldnt mention it if they couldnt be bothered like a few on here can't, but it was nice and often strike a conversation "oh whats that art assignment....?" etc.

scaryteacher · 18/07/2008 22:37

The planner is also there to underscore to the student that home and school work together, so if my ds had a note about misbehaviour in his planner, I would be able to raise it with him and deal with it at home, as opposed to being sandbagged with it in a report or parents evening. If I didn't read the planner, I wouldn't know. It's especially important if a student is on report, or if there has been an incident at school and it hasn't been possible to get hold of the parent.

So, you may have a scenario where you have to award a detention; you write it in the planner, and the parent is supposed to initial the detention to show they're aware of it, and don't; and then come steaming in full of indignation about why their dc had detention. Explain it's in the planner - oh, I can't be bothered to look at that. Duh!

Using the planner correctly saves time and trouble for everyone. I'd rather spend a short time checking homework and signing a planner once a week, rather than having to go into school having meetings about lack of homework, detentions etc, and I bet the teachers would rather get on with planning and marking too.

And for those of you who have dcs shortly to go into year 8, it is worth checking the planner as soon year 8 dip starts to swing into effect, especially with boys, and ensuring homework is done to a satisfactory standard helps to combat this. If they lose their way academically in year 8 , it is hard to get them back on track by year 9.

glitterfairy · 18/07/2008 22:40

MaureenM I have written a note and got a letter from his head of year quoting what I had said and telling me I must sing it next year. I have always signed up till now but it has been a pain as ds always asks when I am in the shower, getting ready for work.

Then I suddenly though last week no I am not doing this and will write in it that I wont do it anymore. Detentions are not put in it and actually if my ds was given a detention I would fall off my chair. He is far too goody good for that even when given encouragement to rebel he feels he sticks out enough for his love of ballet.

My ds always does his homework. I neither check it nor do I worry about it it is his responsibility but when he wants help he asks.

I would never treat my children as though they were brain dead and were incapable of making choices and taking decisions.

I dislike the attitude some adults have towards children that they are somehow unable to cope with a decision and find with my kids that they are often better than me at seeing through things.

If ds was ashamed or upset by me not doing the diary I would do it for him but have said I will sign for the year next September.

OP posts:
sarah293 · 19/07/2008 09:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

juuule · 19/07/2008 09:31

I've not signed the diaries and we don't seem to have suffered from 'year 8 dip' either. So not inevitable.
It's not been out of bloody mindedness that I've not signed the diaries at secondary, just haven't really considered it a necessity.

glitterfairy · 19/07/2008 09:57

And I guess that is it riven, teachers judge us on all sorts of strange criteria.

We are asked to work with the school when schools do not consider us as in effect their clients to whom they are providing a service.

Whatever has happened in health (and much of it has been bad nor am I a thatcherite) to ensure that health care workers know they have to listen to patients needs to happen in education. I still feel that in education they are doing us a favour and we are expected to conform to their idea of parenting.

I approve of the idea of children and parents having a say in how the school is run and have been chair of the school governors in one of my kids schools (so it isnt as if I dont know how they are run) but I dont think it really happens.

School councils can influence but have no teeth and governors work in a different way to a parents group which could influence decisions and be consulted on the running of the school.

OP posts:
IndigoMoon · 19/07/2008 09:59

i used to sign my own, i was a dab hand at my moms signature and other peoples as well. it is a valuable skill which i retain to this day.

ScummyMummy · 19/07/2008 10:27

I hate all this judging kids on parental input crap that goes on at schools. Detention for kids whose parents don't sign the bureaucratic tick box book homework diary is unfair. Why is it the kid's fault if the parent can't be arsed or thinks it's pointless or forgets or whatever. It seems unimaginative in the extreme to consider that signing a diary is a valuable and full indication of parental interest and love anyway. How utterly ridiculous.

bloss · 19/07/2008 10:27

Message withdrawn

Doodle2U · 19/07/2008 10:30

IME (of myself) my homework slipped as I got older and I needed more from my parent in terms of encouragement/whipping to do it, not less.

But your son isn't me. Maybe your son loves doing H/W and will continue to do so off his own bat.

juuule · 19/07/2008 10:41

But Bloss, I don't think glitter or riven are assuming that all pupils are able, independent and reliable. They seem to be objecting to being judged by teachers it they don't jump through a school-set hoop (signing the diary in this case) which has no relevance to them.

Heated · 19/07/2008 10:46

It only takes 5 seconds to sign it, once a week.

I have had parents complain they they weren't informed about their child's lack of h/w before the detention letter hit the mat and then they look a bit blank when I ask have they looked in their child's planner?

TheFallenMadonna · 19/07/2008 10:49

It's like bloss says.

Parents would (understandably) like everything to be dealt with on an individual basis.

Teachers have 30 children in their form, probably teach in excess of 200 different children in one week and need systems.

glitterfairy · 19/07/2008 12:24

Bloss I agree with you and the others here.I also understand that teachers cant treat everyone as individuals in certain circumstances but in others they totally can. After all they have these 30 children for a year at least in their classes.

WHat I have said is that if I write a note to say I think my ds doesnt need this diary signing by me why do I get a short letter back saying we expect you to do it next year?

On another note were I to be told that any of my kids were not handing in homework or were always in detention and I had no idea I would be shocked at my own failings not those of the school. I certainly wouldnt tell the school they should have told me sooner.

Communication is something I am rightly proud of in my family and it has been developed painstakingly over the years after the kids were treated very badly by my X into a very close relationship.

OP posts:
sarah293 · 19/07/2008 12:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

purits · 19/07/2008 12:46

This is the usual pointless MN argument

MN-parent: my DC's school is crap
MN-teacher: I'm perfect, I am, and therefore the whole education system is perfect
MN-parent: oh no it isn't
MN-teacher: oh yes it is
repeat ad nauseum ...

scaryteacher · 19/07/2008 12:54

Riven, obviously school would know about your circumstances and hopefully make arrangements to see you separately for your boys. The tests are also not the teachers tests, they're set by the government!

However, as a teacher of 600+ students a week, and a tutor group, the planner is invaluable in informing parents of what is going on in school, and saving time in tracking down phone numbers, waiting in school, sometimes until gone 1900 to get hold of a parent, (and we do have our own kids as well)and having to discuss behaviour issues/lack of homework etc, which could be dealt with through the medium of the planner.

It is also used in many schools for positive comments as well, and is not, as Juuule puts it a 'school-set hoop (signing the diary in this case) which has no relevance to them.' It is a primary method of communication between home and school and is therefore relevant to teacher, parents and student. It is used for sick notes the day a child returns to school; that they have a dental appointment and will need to miss part of a lesson; a child may have a problem that the parent wishes the teachers to know about, and writes it in the planner. It is far easier to write a note in a planner than send the child in with a sheet of paper that will normally get lost/damaged etc over the course of a day.

It is also a quick method of communication as it goes home each day. A letter will have to be drafted by the tutor/class teacher; approved by the HoY/Head of Department or Area, then by a vice principal, and then eventually get typed and sent. That'll take at least 3 days if not more before it hits the postal system. Planners are expensive, but they work and parents have to do their bit as well, which means looking at them and signing them. You'd be livid if something happened at school and you weren't alerted to it. A planner is a quick and convenient way of achieving that.

I also have to say that the majority of the year 7/8/9 students , especially the boys, need the planners to write their homework in, and as an organisational tool, as they tend to forget their brains somedays, let alone their homework. It also starts those who need it, and believe me, several do, on the path of taking responsibility, in that it is down to them to get their parents to sign the planner.

Who would you class as the client of the school Juuule? The child, whom we are trying to educate and organise, or the parent? If you were a client of a lawyer for example, and they asked you to sign something, would you ignore it? Part of a the job of a form tutor is to check that the planners are signed, and the planners get looked at by HoY and in my school, the Principal to check that this has been done. I fail to see why I should get a bollocking because a parent won't sign a a planner despite my best efforts.

I don't expect you to conform to my idea of parenting Juuule, anymore than I conform to yours, but if there is a home/school contract in existence and signed by you, that you will sign the planner every week, then that is what you have accepted you will do, and you should do it, just as I do with my ds. We do it when he packs his bag on Sunday evening for school on Monday, whilst checking all the homework has been done.

Heated · 19/07/2008 12:57

agrees with scaryteacher who is rightfully named

sarah293 · 19/07/2008 13:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

purits · 19/07/2008 14:39

This is the usual pointless MN argument

MN-parent: my DC's school is crap
MN-teacher: I'm perfect, I am, and therefore the whole education system is perfect
MN-parent: oh no it isn't
MN-teacher: oh yes it is
repeat ad nauseum ...

purits · 19/07/2008 14:40

This is the usual pointless MN argument

MN-parent: my DC's school is crap
MN-teacher: I'm perfect, I am, and therefore the whole education system is perfect
MN-parent: oh no it isn't
MN-teacher: oh yes it is
repeat ad nauseum ...

purits · 19/07/2008 14:40

This is the usual pointless MN argument

MN-parent: my DC's school is crap
MN-teacher: I'm perfect, I am, and therefore the whole education system is perfect
MN-parent: oh no it isn't
MN-teacher: oh yes it is
repeat ad nauseum ...

purits · 19/07/2008 14:40

This is the usual pointless MN argument

MN-parent: my DC's school is crap
MN-teacher: I'm perfect, I am, and therefore the whole education system is perfect
MN-parent: oh no it isn't
MN-teacher: oh yes it is
repeat ad nauseum ...