not to want to continue to sign a homework diary in year 8

[glitterfairy]

I wrote a message in my sons homework diary this week which was a little tongue in cheek but I am sick of signing it in the shower every week.

I think when he is 13 her really ought to take responsibility for his homework and I should not have to sign a boring book every week which I dont look at and often there is nothing in it anyway.

I can understand in primary school but really in year 8 it shoudlnt be needed surely?

i had a homework diary all through senior school, i think they maybe stopped when i was doing gcse's? we certainly didnt have them at 6th form when doing 'a' levels, but def had them in yr 8 and yr 9.

i think yabu, you SHOULD take an interest in your childs education.

We had to have ours signed all the way through secondary school.

Have to say though, that after about yr7 I used to just forge my dads signature.

Why does not signing the diary mean you are not taking an interest in your child's education?
What about parents who sign it because the child shoved it under their nose as they were going out? Signing it doesn't necessarilly mean that it's been read.

No, you're right, it doesn't mean you're not showing an interest, but don't you think that it reminds parents to just 'check in'?

I know when dd started secondary, I felt really out of the loop, because you don't have that school gate stuff anymore and reading and signing the planner, just means that I don't loose sight of what dd is doing out of the house between 8 - 4. If I didn't look at her planner, I could quite possibly not know what she's been upto for a whole term!

I wouldn't necessarily think they were lazy shites who didn't give a toss. I would wonder why they weren't making use of the planner as a communication tool. And be a bit irritated that I therefore couldn't use it as such.

I would have loved for my parents to have taken an interest in my school work when I was in secondary school. As it happened neither were too bothered, which made me not want to bother, which in turn made me feel like I was unimportant so I didn't put the effort in. Not a mistake I want to repeat with my own children.

That's sad, ellideb
I hope it's not had any long-lasting effects and you have now realised that it's you that controls your future and you don't need anyone's approval/interest for you to do well.

I dont need reminding.

I am not lazy.

I take an interest in everything he does but through discussion and listening to him not signing a book.

My ds does a whole load of extra curricular stuff (including ballet at grade five and pre intermediate foundation )which I drive him around to and enjoy discussing with him. He visits the theatre with me, loves art galleries and adores film. He also plays on his Xbox ad nauseam like any normal child.

I am not ticking a page of something to prove this to anyone and he would LOL at the thought that this showed I was interested in him.

You have all made me think that this is really bureaucratic and a waste of time rather than giving me any real reasons apart from checking up on my perfectly able and capable ds and showing him I dont trust him.

Well said, Glitterfairy.

I wish my parents hadn't waved me away with a fag in their hand when I asked them to sign my homework diary, if they had bothered looking in it, they would have seen I never got given any homework, certainly never did any and my education wouldn't have stopped when I was 14.

Teenagers are NOT adults. They don't have adult foresight, adult motivations, adult organisational skills - all they really have is adult height!

But not signing your diary wasn't the problem, thatbiggerman, not being interested in your education was.

no, but it was the disinterest in the diary that stuck with me. Having to explain to my teacher that yes, my parents had seen it, no, they weren't interested.

That's the bottom line, isn't it really? Its not for those who do take interest, its probably for those who don't, but you can't single them out.

If you feel that strongly GF, why don't you write a note in his, er, planner explaning that you don't feel there's any need for you to sign his book every week.

So, in a way, the diary was a bad thing in that it has stuck with you. If your parents hadn't been required to sign the diary you would possibly have been saved that embarrassment. It didn't really help your situation to have to have your diary signed did it? Was it ever discussed with your parents by the teachers or you?

As long as there's no repercussions on the kid if the diary doesn't get signed. I only had a homework diary for my last year of primary school, so all my homework came from the same teacher that wanted the diary.

My parents refused to sign the diary on the grounds it was bleeding obvious I'd done the homework (they took a deep interest in my education but never really understood the structures of schools).

Result: teacher tearing up my homework each time, and throwing it at me, claiming I must have cheated. While assuring my parents at parents' nights that I was doing really well...

That's a disgrace, notcitrus. Did you tell your parents?

As a form tutor of secondary school students I checked the planner weekly. It is a great tool for communication between staff, student and parent. I don't understand why a parent would think it is annoying. Checking they are being given homework/read messages from staff re detentions etc.

How long does this take? approx a couple of minutes?

Oh yes, very trying

juule - yes, repeatedly, but the teacher denied it and my parents believed the teacher (very much 'the person in authority is always right').

That was just part of a very bad year, but luckily I was only at that school for a year. And the teacher (an A-level French teacher who had never taught primary before, let alone had any clue how to deal with an expat class of 11-13-year-olds plus me aged 9-10 and the obvious social problems) was let go at the end of the year, which was some small consolation.

Blimey, well over 20 years later and I'm still furious...

I gave the teacher detention for not signing my dd's diary for two weeks - it was signed very promtly for a while after this note was entered but she did slip back to her old ways after a while

Dd's head of year asked her to forge my signature on one occasion Imagine his face when I turned up to sign the form

Not always only a couple of minutes.
Another thing to nag them about.
"Let's have a look at your diary"
"I'll fetch it in a minute"
Go off to do tea.
"Have you got your diary yet?"
"Oh, I forgot. I'll get it in a minute"
"Get it now, while I'm not busy"
Phone rings.
Child goes out to play.
Diary gets forgotten.

Times that by several children and it could take a fair portion of the evening. Especially if there are other more important things going on.

notcitrus - I'm not surprised you're furious.

If that was the majority of the contact I had with them yes, especially as the home/school contract specifically stated that signing the planner weekly was a requirement.

Believe me, many of those who didn't sign the contact book were just as described above and didn't turn up to parents evenings either.

And yes, I would judge them on that, especially when the planner remained persistently unsigned and the child was in constant grief for not doing their homework. If it was an oversight, like the mum who always normally signed, but forgot one week, then I'd remind them, and it would be signed the next day..or if something traumatic had happened at home of which the school was aware...but some never bothered, and it was nearly always those kids who weren't achieving their potential/missing coursework etc. The planner is perhaps an early marker of parental support for school and the child's education. After all, teachers set the homework, but it is done at HOME so IMO you should be aware of what your child is doing, so if there is a problem it can be tackled with school.