Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to want to continue to sign a homework diary in year 8

196 replies

glitterfairy · 16/07/2008 07:43

I wrote a message in my sons homework diary this week which was a little tongue in cheek but I am sick of signing it in the shower every week.

I think when he is 13 her really ought to take responsibility for his homework and I should not have to sign a boring book every week which I dont look at and often there is nothing in it anyway.

I can understand in primary school but really in year 8 it shoudlnt be needed surely?

OP posts:
Original poster
glitterfairy · 20/07/2008 19:11

I am afraid I dont agree with the same thing being right for everyone or every child. That is why we have schools which are different.

I expect education to offer a small amount of individual and tailored plans for children just as each school may work to National guidance but interprets it in a local way.

I am not asking for much, just to address my ds's homework in another way.

I have taken on board some of the comments from scaryteacher and bloss which were well made and will work with him to extend the diary and make it work for us at home putting in appointments (medical and dental etc) and stuff such as exams and dates he needs to remember at school such as outings, trips casual clothes days and shows but I will not be signing it.

OP posts:
mrz · 20/07/2008 19:19

purits you lumped everyone together under that heading which is why you upset some people.

mrz · 20/07/2008 19:20

glitterfairy for the sake of signing the diary once a week your son will be asked to explain to his teachers why he hasn't got it signed. Is it such a hardship?

twentypence · 20/07/2008 19:33

Year 8 is still primary school age in NZ.

bloss · 20/07/2008 21:51

Message withdrawn

purits · 20/07/2008 22:45

"Seriously, though, I appreciate the frustration you must be feeling if you think this is the case. You obviously have no respect at all for the teachers you know"

I have no respect for the local school and the teachers in it. They are not spineless, as such, just have low aspirations. They are also bogged down in the political correctness quagmire. It didn't help that DD had an SEN boy in her class who used to run rings round the teachers; he used to switch on/off his problems depending on whether there was a teacher in hearing distance, and played the teachers for suckers. (Think of Lou and Andy in Little Britain and you get the idea)
Luckily I managed to get DS into a different school with incredibly good and dedicated teachers. I have nothing but admiration for them. They have high expectations of the kids and, guess what, they get results. D'oh.

lilolilmanchester · 20/07/2008 23:01

How long does it take to sign a diary once a week??? 10 seconds??? Obviously you have a perfect child who never forgets homework, is never in trouble, always turns up with all his books/PE kit etc etc. Well good for you and your DS. However, not everyone is blessed with DCs like yours. I find the diaries invaluable. And don't be too smug just yet, I know loads of people whose DCs' halos slipped once they got to year 9. So either read about it as it happens in the diary, or just let it all pile up for parents' evening. Luckily, I read the diary and wasn't one of the parents leaving parents' evening in tears.

2shoes · 20/07/2008 23:05

purits I assume you spent all day every day in the class

worzella · 20/07/2008 23:18

just don't get what the problem is - how long can us take to sign a planner? If there's nothing written in it , then try and assess (a) whether a homework is set and (b) whether your DCs are writing it down - and then decide if there's a problem - but to make an issue of whether to sign or not seems really rediculous.... schools need support frpm parents not rediculous attitudes ( no wonder kids are as they are....)

Hannah81 · 20/07/2008 23:26

I can't believe that some of the parents on here are not taking an active role in their childs education. My DS1 is only 3 at the moment, but in nursery, I am teaching him at home to read and write and simple mathematics. He also does cooking, crafts and I explain what things are and how things work - I want to continue to be educating him for as long as I can. I remember my sister was 8yrs old and I had to teach her to tell the time, because they never did it in school - My mother should have done this - If the parent isn't interested in what the child is learning, then why should the child be interested? I agree with some of the posts on here - how long does it take to sign a book? In my opinion it strikes me as being lazy.

sarah293 · 21/07/2008 08:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

sarah293 · 21/07/2008 08:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

purits · 21/07/2008 08:21

"purits I assume you spent all day every day in the class"

No but my DD and her friends were and they used to tell me what went on.

sarah293 · 21/07/2008 08:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

purits · 21/07/2008 08:31

bloss: you said last night that my "language is really aggressive". I didn't think that I had been agressive so I looked back over my posts. I stopped when I got to the bit where you also called GF aggressive.
Is it standard teacher-speak to call everyone who disagrees with them and dares to question the system "agressive"?

This is a site where you can post anonymously so you can tell it like it is. Of course I didn't use language like this at the school. I was fully supportive of the school and its efforts (I was on the PTA, remember) until I realised that it was all a one-way street. I didn't get agressive, I just (mentally) walked away.

purits · 21/07/2008 08:35

Why are you so determined to defend someone that you don't know?
This child disrupted the learning of the other children in his class. What's so good about that?
He was cunning and knew exactly what he was doing. He knew that the authorities would always give him the benefit of the doubt, exactly as you are doing.

TotalChaos · 21/07/2008 08:40

pmsl at the SN kids supposedly hogging all the resources - DS with mild SN gets bugger all.

Original poster
glitterfairy · 21/07/2008 08:46

I think the problem can be purits that our perception and that of others is different.

I always believe what my kids tell me but if I have a problem with something in school I speak to the head of year or the head and then allow them to deal with it themselves. In general the school do a fine job of dealing with it and sometimes my child's perception differs from the teachers.

I love tarantino films and enjoy seeing the same thing happen from a number of different points of view. Sometimes school life is like that as well. It may not make one point of view more valid than another but it may shed some light on what has happened.

I do think you have made a few generalisations which others may feel were rather incorrect about ADHD etc.

On another note I really am not lazy about this. I have said I will get ds to use the homework diary as a real diary next year but I want him to learn to do it and do not want to be seen as checking up on him. I trust him and even if he did slip I would want to know why and would not think that ticking and checking would do much good.

OP posts:
Hannah81 · 21/07/2008 10:33

Riven, In your case, then no you are not Lazy, and I agree that you should spend what time you have with your daughter.

I HAVE however had my fair share of stressful time AND bringing up a VERY disturbed teenager - my sister - when she was 14 and her father left - my mother coiuld not cope with her so I had her living with me - all this with a newborn and looking after my disabled grandfather, just after I had finished nursing my grandmother who had recently died of cancer. So, no maybe my children aren't teens but even so, I DO have more than enough experience with trying to juggle homelife and really before I should have had to. I also had time for my sisters education and before anyone presumes i didn't have a job at the time, yes i did.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 21/07/2008 10:45

"It didn't help that DD had an SEN boy in her class who used to run rings round the teachers;"

Perhaps the problem was he wasn't getting enough support? DS1 ran around like a lunatic at mainstream because he was being 'taught' by people with no experience or training in teaching a non-verbal child. Once he was allowed to move to the (more expensive) special school he thrived.

Someone once said to me that she thought it was wrong that ds1 gets so much spent on his education (he's at an SLD/PMLD school) as he'll never achieve anything and more money should be spent on children with less severe needs.

Is it any wonder that disabled children had no right to education at all until 1970 something (or was it 1980 something).

cory · 21/07/2008 10:46

purits on Sun 20-Jul-08 17:26:21
"Close, Sofia. I am pissed off at 'needy' kids getting a disproportionate amount of the budget."

I am not. What worries me is that what happens if children with behavioural or social problems do not get support, because these are people who will still be around when dd leaves school. We can't take them out of the equation.

I don't want ds stabbed in the street by some stoned contemporary who has slipped through the system and is left without the qualifications or will to do honest work.

Failing the weakest members of society means danger to us all. I want a safe society- because however well behaved my dc's are, they'll still have to share with all the rest.

And having a physically disabled dd, I share other posters' cynical smile at the thought that she is getting resources taken from others. She has to make her own resources and she knows it. She also knows that she has to behave well whatever, because I expect that of her. That is less of a problem, even to her, than if the school failed to address the really big problem of behavioural issues.

ThatBigGermanPrison · 21/07/2008 11:31

Purits, yes, Lou and Andy in Little Britain are an astonishingly accurate portrayal of how people with disabilities 'play' on that.

Deaf children do it too, have you noticed? They can't hear their teacher above a babble of undirected voices, all of a similar pitch, but they can hear you calling them suddenly in a relatively quiet playground! The cheeky fuckers, how can people not see the evidence?

And no, don't talk to me about pitch and background interference on hearing aids either, because like purits, my child says that sometimes this 'disabled' child hears, so he must be trying it on.

I don't understand the disability or how it works in any way, and I don't know the circumstances, but it is my God given right to judge his behavior, and be angry at the amount of time the teacher spends on his 'disability' - after all, what right has he to an education? If we had higher expectations, he soon would be so deaf, I'm sure.

2shoes · 21/07/2008 11:59

my dd would love to play on it. she can't though as the fucking cp stopped her legs working
as for deaf kids. I have a ds with hearing trouble(hopefully just fixed though an op) and pitch makes a lot of difference. if I call his name he can't hear cos of the pitch. call eric and he hears.
but of course you must be right as you and purits have letters after your names.

By purits on Mon 21-Jul-08 08:21:33
"purits I assume you spent all day every day in the class"

No but my DD and her friends were and they used to tell me what went on

wow your dc must be so g&t to have a medical career at her age!!!

ThatBigGermanPrison · 21/07/2008 12:43

2shoes, I guess I need to brush up my sarcasm

mamalino · 21/07/2008 12:48

ThatBigGermanPrison I am going to assume in your last post re deaf children you are making a (very poor) joke.