not to want to continue to sign a homework diary in year 8

[glitterfairy]

I wrote a message in my sons homework diary this week which was a little tongue in cheek but I am sick of signing it in the shower every week.

I think when he is 13 her really ought to take responsibility for his homework and I should not have to sign a boring book every week which I dont look at and often there is nothing in it anyway.

I can understand in primary school but really in year 8 it shoudlnt be needed surely?

thabiggermanprison was being sarcastic about purits posts. The gives it away. She has a point- it's the logical extension of the assumption that children with conditions such as ADHD are able to play up to it etc in order to get what they want

Blimey what a nasty thread.

Time to draw a line?

sarcasm doesn't travel well on mn/internet. But glad to read that you were being sarcastic.

There's amusing sarcasm and there is being tasteless and just not funny. As the parent of a deaf child I find it offensive. Sorry.

thanks jimJams.

no, it wasn't a joke, it was as JimJams says. If children with ADHD can turn it on and off, so can deaf children. And surely blind children could open their eyes a bit wider, you know, if they weren't getting so much help rfrom the teachers?

My point is that ADHA is no more a fucking excuse than being deaf, or being blind.

It wasn't supposed to be funny.

I think it's a particular problem where the disability results in certain behaviours- rather than something physical. So people can get the idea that my 9 year old son can't talk because he's autistic, but they find it hard to understand that he can't queue, at all.

Even harder for a child with something like ADHD where the child os otherwise very high functioning.

took me a while to get what you meant.

"it's the logical extension of the assumption that children with conditions such as ADHD are able to play up to it etc in order to get what they want"

No it's not. I'm talking about one specific child in my DD's class. I'm not talking about all of your DCs. I'm not talking about the whole SEN community. I'm talking about one specific case.
Why are you having such trouble distinguishing between the general and the specific?

please just tell me your qualifications. you must be have them if you can diagnose

It's a specific case you know nothing about, apart from recycled observations on the part of your own children, who I am assuming are the same age as this child and not qualified psychiatric professionals. He may well be a little shit. He may have severe ADHD. He may have Asperger's Syndrome. He may have any combination of the bove, or none. You don't know any of the above, but as you stated earlier, he has SEN - if he is statemented, believe me, he has special needs.

And our children aren't general, they are specific to us.

My DD was in his class for five years. Don't you think that she knows just a little of his character after all that time?

Perhaps she does purits but as I have said before her observation is based on her view alone and there will be other information to add to that.

Also children can be pretty intolerant too and need help to accept differences in others.

It may have been that the school mishandled this and it may have been that you didnt really want your dd to be part of this school but that is not the fault of the other child.

I'm thinking she hasn't read his IEP, and neither have you.

Perhaps some of you will take the time out from arguing to read post 33 www.tes.co.uk/section/staffroom/thread.aspx?story_id=2641195&path=/SEN/&threadPage=1&messagePage=4

THAT'S IT. I'VE HAD ENOUGH.
I never said that this boy had ADHD. You are not reading my posts. You are just projecting your lives onto what you think I said.
Stop insulting my daughter: she is an extremely empathetic character who would not make things up. How dare you talk about her like that when you don't know her. Now it's my turn to be offended.

purits think how much more offended you would be if you were the mother of the SEN child reading this thread

"claiming someone with SN was 'switching it on and off' and generally making it up and fooling the teachers.
That is very insulting to people with SN who cannot 'make it up'. They just don't FFS."

Why is it insulting to all people with SN if I talk about this one particular boy? Surely you of all people want them treated as individuals, not one generic stereotype?

I am not talking about her as if she is making things up.

I am talking about her as if she is a child, not a doctor.

You have said the child has SEN.

Your child has not read the SEN child's IEP.

Your child has not read the SEN child's statement of educational needs.

Your child has not seen the SEN child's medical records.

Your child is not privy to CAHMs assessments.

Your child is just about the only source of information you have about the child with SEN.

And from this incomplete, non-professional, child's opinion on what is going on in another child's life, you have concluded that a child with SEN can 'switch on/off his problems depending on whether there was a teacher in hearing distance, and played the teachers for suckers. (Think of Lou and Andy in Little Britain and you get the idea)'

And you are surprised that you're getting ripped to shreds for posting this?

And remember, there are mothers with children who have behavioral problems on this thread - so for all you know, you are talking about one of our children.

ThatBigGermanPrison I was going to post but you put it so much better than I would hve. so can I just agree with you.

This is the post I tried to direct people to and since the poster placed it on an open forum I assume they won't mind me reproducing it here

"Yes. Doctors don't know what they're talking about. Teachers...well, we know everything.

Some of it is subjective. Not every diagnosis is correct. But that surely doesn't mean that we ignore or dispute all of them?

My son was misdiagnosed by an experienced, prominent psychiatrist who only diagnosed the ADHD.

When he got re-referred to CAMHS as things were worse at home and at school, we saw a new psychiatrist, who picked up the autism immediately. Testing confirmed her suspicions, but of course it's not an exact science.

I refused to believe that my son was autistic. He can't be, I said, because I've taught an autistic boy and he has no facial expressions and speaks in a monotone. My son has loads of facial expressions and is a very expressive speaker. He can't be autistic because he's nothing like that boy.

What did I know? Clearly nothing. I had had one half day training course in SEN when I was on my PGCE course. I'm not imagining that many mainstream teachers (or TAs) have had much more than me. So who are we to question the views of those who DO know? With a bit more education (I've read everything I can get my hands on about autism now), I can see that there are far more children with autism than are diagnosed with it. I can see that my son is absolutely autistic and I am ashamed not to have had the knowledge to have understood that before. But it made me aware of how complex SEN is and how school staff need to be led by the people who actually KNOW.

The original psychiatrist missed the autism because the ADHD hyperactivity masked the social difficulties and everything else, because he never stayed still long enough to have it picked up on.

Equally, we teachers miss difficulties that we should spot. I know of at least ten children at my school this year who range between 12 and 15 who have only just now been diagnosed with autism, Asperger's etc. These are children who've had quite significant behavioural and social problems throughout their school careers, and yet nobody has done anything about it until now.
They have been labelled by teachers and pupils as 'mad', 'freaks' and 'naughty', and it is unlikely that any help that we put in place now will undo the damage of those years.

Their parents didn't know and couldn't be expected to. Maybe teachers should have more training so they can recognise potential issues and, more importantly, offer the right support to those who have diagnosed conditions.

Ignorance is no excuse for refusing to accept professional diagnoses though. Yes, some doctors will get it wrong, but WE are not qualified to say that. "

You said the child had SEN and ran rings around his teachers.

Sounds like a child who needs more support to me.