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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

not to want to continue to sign a homework diary in year 8

196 replies

glitterfairy · 16/07/2008 07:43

I wrote a message in my sons homework diary this week which was a little tongue in cheek but I am sick of signing it in the shower every week.

I think when he is 13 her really ought to take responsibility for his homework and I should not have to sign a boring book every week which I dont look at and often there is nothing in it anyway.

I can understand in primary school but really in year 8 it shoudlnt be needed surely?

OP posts:

purits · 23/07/2008 14:10

I hope you didn't think that I literally meant running around.
For most people, "running rings around someone" means out-smarting or out-witting them, taking advantage of their naïvely trusting political correctness. All kids do it, given half a chance. Why does this need "more support"?
Please don't tell me that you all thought that I was talking about a physical disability which could be switched on/off!
Surely not?
Thud.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 23/07/2008 16:38

No I did not think you meant a child with a physical disability.

My own son with severe learning disabilites, aged 9 and non-verbal runs rings around people who do not know how to handle him. He ran rings around his mainstream support staff because they had inadequate (i.e. no) training.

Being able to run rings around someone does not magic away special needs. My son knows exactly who can handle him and who can't. I'm very happy he's not in mainstream anymore, but the biggest factor in it not working out was that the staff had no idea how to handle him and so he ran rings around them. He's as disabled as he ever was and will require 24 hours care for the rest of his life.

You said the child had SEN. You seem to think that SEN can be switched on an off and that because a child can run rings around an adult they can't possibly have SEN. My suggestion is that if more was spent on their support - and this was provided by people with an understanding of SEN, then perhaps the child would be calmer, better managed and not running rings around anyone.

mrz · 23/07/2008 17:02

I don't think for one moment anyone thought you were talking about a physical disability but just because a disability isn't immediately obvious to the observer it doesn't mean that one doesn't exist. Children with less obvious disabilities can require just as much support (sometimes more) than a child with a physical disability.

bloss · 24/07/2008 03:24

Message withdrawn

laweaselmys · 25/07/2008 15:05

If you're child is struggling or not doing their homework I get why the school would ask parents to check they're at least writing what their homework is down and making an attempt to do it. However if you're kids are fine it's a total waste of time. Just don't sign it, what are they going to do to you if you don't??

mrz · 25/07/2008 17:09

They won't do anything to you but your child might be embarrassed having to explain to each teacher why it's not signed.

laweaselmys · 25/07/2008 17:17

They started those planner things when I was at school and loads of parents couldn't be bothered with them, the teachers never said anything about it. I have no idea I suppose it could have changed by now when more students have them and teachers are more used to them but I'd be surprised if a teacher made a big fuss out of it, especially if the kid in question behaves fine and does his homework.

laweaselmys · 25/07/2008 17:24

Although things really could have changed since then. I just think it's a shame if they have I was perfectly happy with the old way.

AbbeyA · 25/07/2008 17:27

I think that it is such a shame if the school is trying to get a good home/school communication going and the parents can't be bothered. Even if you don't agree with them I think you could be supportive. Luckily my DSs's school does follow up unsigned ones.

mrz · 25/07/2008 18:06

At my children's school they certainly ask the children why the diary isn't signed even if homework is completed. For those children who haven't completed homework it is followed up with a phone call and letter home.

AbbeyA · 25/07/2008 18:19

When I forgot to sign last year my DS's form tutor wrote on it 'please get Mummy to sign' which my DS and I thought was funny, but I can see that the light hearted approach might upset people on here!
People want their DC to go to a good school and read all the league tables and Ofsted etc and then get upset when the school asks them to do one small thing that will help!
The fact that the school is chasing homework is good. You may have an incredibly organised DC who doesn't need checking but a lot of us are not so lucky!

Original poster

glitterfairy · 25/07/2008 20:46

The fact is it doesnt help in my opinion to teach children that someone watches over them at all times. they need to learn to stand on their own feet and take responsibility for their learning and work.

I wont be there when they are at uni which is when some kids go off the rails because up till then they have been policed. I want all of my kids to learn to take control and to learn because they want to rather than because they are made to.

OP posts:

AbbeyA · 25/07/2008 22:24

If that is your belief, glitterfairy, then you should go through the proper channels to try and get a change - not just refuse to sign. At my DS's school it stops after year 11 so they have 2 years before uni to get used to taking responsibility.

Original poster

glitterfairy · 26/07/2008 09:55

Read the thread and you will see I have sent a note to the teachers!

Anyway as I have already said I will just sign the thing for the year next year and be done with it. That will be following the rules as they have said I must sign it but not when.

OP posts:

AbbeyA · 26/07/2008 10:08

Sorry glitterfairy-I have read the thread but it has been going on for so long -I can't remember who said what!

juuule · 26/07/2008 10:39

I must admit that it doesn't seem to cause a problem at my ds secondary school if I don't sign his diary.

The primary school do push the children to get their parents to sign.

Original poster

glitterfairy · 26/07/2008 16:57

LOL Abbey!

I dont think it is really about time or about the actual process it is the principle I object to and perhaps I havent been clear about that.

OP posts:

AbbeyA · 26/07/2008 19:19

I realise it is the principle and I can agree with it.
However since I have disorganised boys who have problems with deadlines I find it useful!
My main point is that you should work with the school and back them up. If you are really against it then you should raise it at school, not just be difficult.

AbbeyA · 26/07/2008 19:20

By you-I mean people in general.

bloss · 28/07/2008 00:32

Message withdrawn

Original poster

glitterfairy · 28/07/2008 19:30

Interesting and thought provoking post bloss. I agree with you.

I guess that part of this is upbringing at school and home though.

I think if we all expected children to act as though they had brains and the ability to make decisions from an early age it might mean that we didnt need to be making them do things and take responsibility at a later stage.

I know that setting my kids free and enabling them and guiding them had better results than channeling them and forcing them. I did have to take my self in hand on a number of occasions and show I trusted them though.

OP posts:

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