To think this is a fair exchange (shocking TMI warning)

[lucyellensmum]

I am STARVING i have been to the inlaws so i think that entitles me to a little treat. Well not treat but some food. We didnt go shopping because we went to the inlaws and the only thing that is open is muckdonalds, but hey, im half pissed, i'll eat anything.

The exchange is oral sex for DP going to get me a burger. I just did it, but he is sulking because i didn't go all the way - well i don't want him falling asleep on me do i!!!

So, fair exchange or is this a total abandonment of my feminist principals.

'none of you get it, you just don't - i give up. '

No, no I don't. I don't get why anyone feels compelled to post such graphic detail about their sex life just to somehow prove how good their sex life is or how happy they are.

It's gross, tbh, and now I'm definitely not jealous. I wouldn't want a man who nags me to take it up the tailpipe because I'm on my period and tells me he's going to fuck me up the arse, calls me a cunt, bashes me about the head with his cock whilst I'm doing something or even jokingly suggests giving him a BJ in exchange for getting me some food - much less takes such a bargain seriously.

lapin, that is why i wont post again about him, because i get upset when people feel negatively about him, and you are exactly right, they only have my posts to go on. I think it is wrong of me to do so actually, so im not spitting my dummy and saying right you lot are shit and you have to love my DP despite all the shite i post about him. I am going to stop posting the shite becaues it is very unfair to him and it paints a false picture. I think it is quite easy to get carried away with getting sympathy etc online and maybe i have grown to rely on that, which is a bit pathetic in itself.

EXPAT it was MY suggesting re the BJ and just something said on the spur of the moment - it put him in the mood for some serious loving, but i fell asleep .
I think you have me out of context, it has honestly been ME that has pestered for any type of sex when i have my period (slave to my hormones) and not him. As for the cock bashing, so what??? Sometimes i give it a playful flick (does that make me an abuser?). Please please please please dont think badly of my DP, he has taken a million times more shit from me this past few years than he has given to me. Its been a horrible time, but thank god we are coming out of it with our love in tact.

dittany, i really appreciate you sticking up for me, but i honestly have done DP a great disservice in my threads and i feel terrible for this. During this past few years i have suffered with PND and i have been a cunt (no other way to describe really). I have messed up jobs for him, i have thrown things at him, hit him and threatened him with knives. Im not proud of any of that really im not, but im just trying to put it into context that he is not a bad person, quite the opposite. Despite ALL of that, he is still here and he still loves me, so yes, i consider myself extremely lucky.

I personally think, that lem is entitled to say what she likes, whether thats men, money or kids, and if you dont like it then switch off.

But bringing up everything someone has said, to try and make someone feel regretful about what she has said, when it concerns nobody but herself, is really IMO low, very low.

I hope non of you are judged on your words the way you have judged lem.

Viva la sisterhood, my arse!

Sorry, I find the whole concept of giving your husband oral sex as payment for a favour a bit creepy.

We're all entitled to say what we want on here, but we can't expect everyone just to applaud it all the time, cola.

And we are all judged by what we write on here.

That's why a lot of people don't give out very graphic or intimate details about our sex lives.

well i love giving my dp a bj but he'd be horrified if I traded with him.....not that he needs to I might add

Each to their own I suppose?

We are anon on here so we can be open and honest!

yes, but that doesn't mean everyone's going to applaud from the sidelines, cola.

or is compelled to or hold their peace.

Of course not, but no need to try to hurt someone with their own words, how is it helping lem, to say oh but last week you said, abc!!

If this week shes happy, then good if next week shesnot then listen, that is what mn is to me, not judgements, and ohhh I would never!!

LEm, the only thing I'm going to add to this thread is you want to be careful that nobody reading this knows you in real life. That happened to me and I had to do a name change. I felt very vulnerable knowing that somebody, but who?, had been reading things I'd been 'confiding' on line.

FWIW, I just thought this was a bit TMI, even on Mumsnet. From now on, I'll always think of you as the mumsnetter who swapped a burger for a bj and whose husband called her a c*. NIP that in the bud. Perhaps I'm single for a reason! I wouldn't feeling loving towards anybody who called me names. I'd feel murderous

Although perhaps you wouldn't care if your acquaintances in RL read this and recognised you. I shouldn't assume that everybody wants to be relatively private.

LEM - Instead of choosing to stop posting about any problems in your relationship, why don't you just stop posting this weird, pseudo-porno stuff?

If your dh calls you a cunt and you're ypset mn can offer support, advice, a symapthetic ear... (a dozen or so demands for you to divorce the evil bastard ) etc.

Posting about your rampant sex life gets you what exactly? a few sniggers?

This has all gone a bit pear shaped and your reaction is to not post about serious issues anymore, the sort of things we would all seek out support for, not to quit posting the stuff that people find hard to swallow (ahem).

I don't get it.

Yes, Dittany, very true. Tbh, my xp's complete inability to help me through PND was what brought in to sharp focus 1) his lack of compassion and 2) his selfishness, and 3) his nasty streak (the names).

To kick somebody (with names) when they are down (pnd) is completely horrible.

Good posts GreenElizabeth.

mrsfederer, roger's having to work for it tonight.

I'm up for Nadal. Can't help myself.

OMG - give LEM a break! Why are you all taking this so seriously? If you don't like what the thread is about stop posting on it and reading the posts!

So LEM is open about her sex life - so what? I think it's refreshing to see someone who is confident with her sexuality instead of being uncomfortable about it. I wish I had her confidence instead of my low self esteem issues!

As for her posting about probelms with her DH recently, do most of you really have completely 100% happy relationships where you never have a day or a moment where you think "why am i here?"? Becasue I do and quite often it is caused by the smallest of things and isn't serious but I still rant about it (although in rl as opposed to here) which i think is far healthier than bottling it up. If you never feel like that then you are lucky!

Anyway, DP is currently making dinner in exchange for favours - it's not demeaning or sad just a bit of fun!

LEM please don't stop posting what you want - if people can't take it then they should leave it rather than moaning about it. Otherwise I'd be moaning on hundreds of threads on here!

i prefer nadal, too, althohgh i think it is funny how he is winding up roger tonight, making him get all emotional.

I am surprised by the reaction of your RL friends to your sex-life. In my experience, discussion of sexual activity with partners ends at the beginning of a serious, long-term partnership such as marriage. I could not, and would not, discuss my sex life with anyone but my husband.

Of course, people allude to things that go on in private, but never in such graphic detail. Frankly, the sort of stuff I have read on this thread is the sort of information I would have heard bandied around in late teens and early twenties.

LEM, you have alluded yourself to some other issues and I do wonder if such open and crude discussion of your sex life is a symptom of these issues?