To think all this ‘boy mum’ crap is just misogyny?

[MyNavyDreamer]

I find this whole ‘boy mum’ culture incredibly irritating, particularly the women who make having sons their entire personality. It’s the way some of them talk about raising boys as though it’s somehow more special than raising girls, perpetuate stereotypes about boys being easier or less dramatic, and even make bizarre comments about being their son’s first love. I also find it interesting how some of the same women who complain about men’s behaviour seem perfectly happy to reinforce the very attitudes that contribute to misogyny. Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with being proud of having sons but why does it need to become an entire identity?

AIBU? To think there’s a lot of internalised misogyny wrapped up in this whole ‘boy mum’ phenomenon?

I find it's usually women who desperately wanted daughters/didn't want a son who double down on this crap. It's weird.

YABU. I only ever used or heard ‘boy mum’ a bit tongue in cheek, and as a response to people who think they must pity women who didn’t get a girl. It’s a jokey way of saying ‘no worries, we’re good’ and not as deep as you make it.

Same could be said of those who make being a girl mum their whole personality.

I agree.

I’ve never seen mothers acting like you describe OP. I do find MN to be quite anti-boy as well as anti-man.

I've never heard anyone say anything like this. Is this something you've seen in person or just tiktok nonsense?

Yes I find it’s more this tbh!! They think they are Mother Earth!!

This is so true! I think “boy mums” get sick and tired of being pitied for not having the “best friend daughter” that is deified in social media and this is a kick back. It’s all very tedious.

This

Having had both, I think it's a way of helping to stop boys from internalising a lot of the perceived preferences for girls. For what it's worth, I have found bodies are just wrapping - the packages are unique.

I really dislike the description of other people's pain or difficulties as dramatic though; it minimises and ridicules others; there's too much of that in the world to begin with. Far too many harmful stereotypes are perpetuated this way.

Wondering this too.

Never heard anyone actually say they're a boy mum in real life. I've got a mix and boys and girls are easier and more difficult in different ways. People often seem to see having boys as lesser, which it isn't.

It's just social media bollocks, content for likes. Ignore it. Of course it's misogynistic, but only thickos really think like that.

I have to be honest with you some of this boy Mum stuff I Find quite disturbing. It almost looks like some of these mothers have an attraction to their sons!

Yanbu
There is this prevailing idea online that girl mums aren’t really parenting, boy mums have it so hard, girls just sit around nicely all the time and require no parental input, don’t need to go outside etc
Some people seem to hugely buy into it, it’s crazy.

I do think some people just throw themselves into the role they're given and perhaps as someone else said, it's not that deep and more about the way they feel about their child than anything else.

Interesting. Ive never seen this. What i have seen - as a mum of boys or "boy mum" if you prefer - is women who make comments about how much they enjoy havjng a friend in their daughter and how I must wish I had that!. I even had a weird random stranger ask me what i was having when I was pregnant and when I said a boy ,she actually rubbed my belly and said "be a girl". Fucking weirdo.

I have genuinely never met anyone like this. I’ve a DS and two DD and boy’s friendships seem a lot easier to me, don’t know whether it’s him or it’s something else.

I find it interesting that boys end up so different to girls - even by 4 years old. When, certainly in my group of friends, we are conscious not to reinforce stereotypes. So I often have nurture versus nature type conversations…..

I have never in my life heard someone say they are their boys first love!

Yes I knew someone who was always banging on about how boys are better, but later admitted she'd wanted a girl, so was probably trying to convince herself. I've got girls and they're great but I never say or think how superior they are to boys as I'm sure boys would have been great too.

That is utterly appalling, I'm so sorry.

Just another thread to slag off women trying to be the best mothers they can be.

I think it's a reaction to those many women who somehow think having a boy is less than having a girl.
All children are individuals and people who are able to have a healthy child are very ucky , their sex doesn't matter.

My boys are 12 and 9. They’re lovely, polite and interesting people with their own personalities, desires and opinions. The ONLY time I have seen “boy mum” personalities come out was when a family friend had her first baby (a girl) and was openly commenting on how hard it is not to have a mini me, how difficult I must find it to “do boy stuff”, how I will loose them when they’re older, how “easy” boys are in comparison to girls. Everytime I see her, I get this crap shoved at me wrapped in fake sympathy. It’s total BS of course, boys and girls develop their own feelings, their own personalities and they can choose for themselves.
It seems the boy mum trope is a bit of backlash from people who really take offence at people like my friend who seems to think only girls are worthy. I just shake it off and try to time visits to my parents when I know she won’t be around, because it’s getting irritating now.

I don’t think this is true, stereotypes will have been enforced hugely, even if people don’t recognise that they’re doing it.
I’m sure for birthdays and Christmas the 3&4 year old boy wasn’t receiving the exact same gifts as the girl at 3&4.

I thought all men were the enemy on here and the cause of issue every woman has ever had

I dont see any male love