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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to be responsible for SC as adults?

253 replies

EwaZB · Yesterday 13:28

Boyfriend and I have been together for four years. I have DD18 and DS24. He has DSDs16 (twins) and DSS17. The plan has always been to move in together when DSDs are 18, and he’s started sending links to houses.

The thing is… Increasingly it looks like none of his children will fly the nest in a traditional sense any time soon. My son is living independently and my daughter moves out for university next summer.

I would love to live with my boyfriend, but not in a houseshare with three of his adult children. AIBU to scrap the plan?

OP posts:
Shinyandnew1 · Yesterday 22:49

EwaZB · Yesterday 13:41

He’s sending me links because his children are messy and noisy, and he’s looking forward to moving in together!

We both have four-bedroom houses currently and the idea was to buy a different four-bedroom so we had a couple of spare rooms, could release equity and enjoy travelling and working less.

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His children will still be messy and noisy, but if you do this, it will be bothering you as well as him!

Hankunamatata · Yesterday 22:53

Be honest. Say your hoping to down size and just be two of you.
If he grumbles them you downsize, he can stay over but he keeps his own property and contributes to food and electric

Sunbringer · Yesterday 23:23

EwaZB · Yesterday 13:45

This is what I’m thinking. His children are perfectly nice but I don’t want to live with them or subsidise them (and wouldn’t expect him to live with or subsidise mine, either). Of course we’d have spare rooms for short-term/holidays/emergencies but I don’t want to live in a houseshare. I did that when I was a lot younger!

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Then don’t move in with their parent…. Your university child will come home every summer anyway.

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