AIBU for not apologising

[blueyavocado]

Basically we were at a sandpit and my 2 year old loves being friends with other kids and playing with them.

today he went over to a little boy maybe 3ish who was building something. My son wanted to help him and was copying the little boy and trying to help him.

the little boy kept putting his arm in the way, leg in the way, flicking the sand out my sons hand and pushed him over a couple of times into the sand.

The mum was watching the whole time and she didn’t say a thing. I didn’t say a thing as I didn’t know what to say. It was awkward, but I could see he really wanted to join in. the whole time my son didn’t react and was waiting to join in. after a few mins, he got fed up and my son knocked the sandcastle over.

the other little boy screamed crying and ran to his mum and she then gave me a filthy look. Normally I’d say sorry , but this time I didn’t aibu

This is a pointless AIBU. You’ve already decided you have done nothing wrong. Tbh it’s basic parenting! Good luck as your child gets older!

Then why didn’t you intervene at that stage ? The little boy pushing your son was a clear indication that he didn’t want to share. You said the mum didn’t intervene, well neither did you and you allowed your child to ruin the boy’s play. You should have apologised.

I dunno, I I think it’s pretty obvious what the OP wants from the replies!

OP: Was I in the wrong?

Everybody: Yes

OP: No I wasn’t, shut up

Another totally pointless thread from someone seeking validation for their clearly unreasonable behaviour. Increasingly common unfortunately.

Oh dear. We’ll see you back here in 10 years time with your 12 year old who has no respect for you, other people or his community. Then it will be a much bigger issue that you are dealing with.
At 2 years old you should be teaching him to respect others and that the world does not revolve around him.

She's gone. Lost her validation and given up. This parent will raise an entitled spoiled child . He might go far in life, but will not be liked.

Have you ever heard of the expression " when you get yourself into a hole, stop digging!" You're clearly unable to accept when you're wrong, or be told no, which is where your DS gets it from.

I can’t believe this is a genuine post. The replies are bizarre.

No I think you’re missing the point-a lot!

I mean, you be a parent and move your child away from the other child who clearly didn’t want to play him.
“Sand pits are to share” is a ridiculous statement, he can still play but away from that child.

Im the other mum. Why was he disturbing the little boys game? Clearly annoying him and then destroyed his sandcastle! It’s not other children’s job to play with him!

That’s why you should be redirecting your child to avoid this kind of unnecessary conflict and helping him learn how to socialise. They’re both toddlers so neither is wrong. You however…

I feel so bad for the other little boy!

The specific thing a child is building in a sandpit is not to share thought. Your attitude is going to cause your child to be one that other children avoid at parks.

I teach my kids that not everything is for sharing. There are situations in which something isn’t. For example - a sandcastle someone built, or a piece of paper someone is drawing on. The sand around may be for everyone, or the other pieces of paper or the crayons, but not the individual thing someone is making. I loathe the mums that think their darling is entitled to everything.

Yes YABU. The mother should have stopped my child the second they flicked sand but equally as soon you should have moved yours to the other side of the sandpit when you realised the child didn’t want to play. Poor parenting all around.

I guess it depends how you want your son to behave especially if you have another child.

This can’t be real. You should have encouraged your DC to play in a different area.

everyone can play in the sandpit.

If you’re 3 and you have built a sandcastle yourself do you want a 2 year old to ‘help’ at the end. Of course not. It’s not a shared play activity once there’s been personal investment in building something. Does your 2 year old ‘help’ with other children’s drawings, paintings and Lego builds too? Do they get pissed off about it?

I wouldn’t have allowed your son near my son’s castle that he’d spent ages constructing and I’d have firmly redirected him back to you to build his own. Sounds like there was a big lack of parenting going on. Why are neither of the adults supporting the play here?

At 2 your child is way too little to be playing in a small sandpit this close together without close supervision and scaffolding by an adult. You had a job to do here and you opted out.

He pushed your child because your child wouldn’t stop interfering in what he was doing.

This is your son and your life and if that’s how you want him to think and act then that is up to you. Most people want their children to fit in to society and understand how it works. You will need to home school him obviously so that he is always the centre of everything and doesn’t have to take peers into consideration.

I wouldn't have apologised
But I'd have told my son that the other child didn't want to play and to build his own, and told the boy the sandpit is for everyone to share.

I very much doubt a 2 year old was waiting to ‘help’ here, either. 2 year olds don’t play cooperatively, generally. He wasn’t waiting to help build it, he was waiting until there was an opportunity to knock it down because that is what would be age appropriate, fun play for a 2 year old.

Sandpits in October. is this in the UK?

Yes, lots of parks have them

Sandpits are for everyone to use. No one is obligated to 'share'.

Your child, who is too young to understand he should have left the other kid alone, will really struggle with boundaries given thast you, as an adult who should understand, are finding this hard.