AIBU for not apologising

[blueyavocado]

Basically we were at a sandpit and my 2 year old loves being friends with other kids and playing with them.

today he went over to a little boy maybe 3ish who was building something. My son wanted to help him and was copying the little boy and trying to help him.

the little boy kept putting his arm in the way, leg in the way, flicking the sand out my sons hand and pushed him over a couple of times into the sand.

The mum was watching the whole time and she didn’t say a thing. I didn’t say a thing as I didn’t know what to say. It was awkward, but I could see he really wanted to join in. the whole time my son didn’t react and was waiting to join in. after a few mins, he got fed up and my son knocked the sandcastle over.

the other little boy screamed crying and ran to his mum and she then gave me a filthy look. Normally I’d say sorry , but this time I didn’t aibu

You're the only one missing the point and I'm beginning to think you're actually just on a wind up

Is there really a 2 year old in all this?

Pretty much yes.

Why did you even bother posting when you clearly don't want to hear that you were in the wrong?

Sounds like you’re raising your child to be entitled and unpleasant.

He’s just being a kid, but the fact you let him bother another child who didn’t want to be bothered, then seem happy it escalated into your son destroying something the other kid made doesn’t bode well for his upbringing .

YABU. You’re lucky the mother didn’t say anything.

That’s fine. But your son was being very intrusive when the other boy clearly wanted his own space. You are the one that should’ve read the signals and acted on it. I.e move your son away from him. You set him up for failure by leaving him.

I am certain this is not true. No one can be that entitled and thick that they think their child has the right to annoy another child and smash the sand castle he has built.
If this is true you are bringing up a nasty spoilt brat and he will be disliked.

He wouldn't have done that if your son hadn't annoyed him.

Peer retribution - it's frowned on nowadays at school etc, everybody has to accommodate everything so no-one gets upset. But it solved a lot of crap when I grew up!

If you don’t nip this in the bud and actually parent your child, he’s going to end up being the kid that nobody wants to play with.

You could have just helped your son build another sandcastle instead of expecting this other child to let yours join in. I would have intervened if my child pushed another over, but I would also encourage my child to move away if another child was showing signs that they didn't want to play.

It's great that your son loves being friends with everyone but he somehow has to start to learn that not all kids are like that.

I went and sat by somone in the pub and tried to join in their conversation because the pub is for everyone.
They didn't want me to join so I tipped the table over. AIBU?

Oh look....it's another shit mother who can't parent...

Somebodies bored today. Its a wind up.

What’s the point that’s being missed, OP? Or are you just attempting faux superiority because you’re unhappy with the responses?

You being unreasonable here OP. The other child might have been unfriendly unsociable and not sharing and that is his right. It does not give your son the right to force play with somebody who does not want it.

You should be teaching your son about personal space and boundaries, and especially about how to take no for an answer. If you don't he will get himself in trouble as he grows up.

He should not react with anger when someone says no. At his age it is understandable, he is only two, friendly and learning. but he must be guided in the right direction.

AIBU? Yes you are. OP continues to argue

Of course, you should have apologised and you should have prompted your son to apologise to the other little boy. He probably didn't set out to do any harm but he DID do harm, and it was completely due to his actions and completely avoidable. Did you even tell him privately that his kicking over the sandcastle the other boy built was wrong?

Why on earth didn't you say something like "it doesn't look like the little boy wants you to help. That's ok, we can build something over here" or similar?

Two and a three year olds aren't old enough to reliably sort out this kind of dispute, so you should have helped your child understand boundaries. The sandpit might be for everyone, but that doesn't mean he can force another child to play with him when he's clearly unwilling 🤷‍♀️.

But sandcastles aren't. Imagine you've built a massive house 6beds, 4 bathrooms and some fucker comes with a wrecking ball knocks it down....the wrecking ball is your kid, the fucker is you

It sounds like a bit of a stand off to me. You probably could have prevented this without making a fuss.

Reverse? The mum of the child who was interfering should have said ‘honey, this boy wants to play on his own, why don’t we do this instead’.

By this logic, next time you

• go to a café, I can sit at your table and eat your food.
• go to the library, I can sit on your chair and read the book you are reading
• go to the park, I can sit on your knee to swing

The park, the library and the cafe are all shared spaces and I can always be in them with you. That doesn't give me the right to share your personal space, the activity you are doing, or the items you are using or consuming at that moment.

You know full well that everyone deserves personal space even in a shared area. Your kid should have moved a little further away and you should have helped him do this, but you were too lazy to parent.

So op have you learnt something?

If your child is bothering another child in a public space it is your role to distract them, play with them yourself, and redirect them. You should be modelling to your child that other children's feelings matter.

Op honestly after the second time of the child blocking I’d have shouted over sorry, he doesn’t seem to want to play, why don’t you start your own sandcastle? Op him knocking another child’s sandcastle without him at least seeing you apologise is really bad, he’s learning tantrums and bulldozing are fine, keep it up and ten years time you’ll be dealing with a teen who thinks he can do anything he likes