Am I wrong to continue to refuse to socialise with DH’s best man

[Westernweath]

I got married last summer (2025) and took offence to a comment made by DH’s best man. Juvenile humour at my expense. I remained calm at the time but told DH in no uncertain terms I would not socialise with him again.

He has respected that until now. Big row last night that I’ve ‘dragged it out for over a year and need to move on now’. I explained I felt embarrassed in front of family and friends. He says as he has apologised repeatedly I should give him a second chance, and be mindful that a lot of alcohol was consumed by him and he has ‘cut right down as a result’.

Maybe I am stubborn. But I believe that fool me once, you don’t get another chance.

YABU - move on and agree to meet up
YANBU - stick to your position

It depends what he said - did it cross a line for you?

What did he say?

Agree with this. Did the best man apologise to you in person and, if so, do you think he meant it?

Yes. He complimented me on how I looked in my dress and then gave an anecdote about how much of a contrast it was when he saw me last, ‘watching football on the sofa with a beer and farting away’. Gross!

It does depend what he said but I’m edging towards it’s time to move on!

You need to get over yourself

It seems harsh to me. He is your husbands best friend. But I guess it depends on what he said. You will be married to your husband for the next 30 or 40 years. Has he apologised to you?

Having read your update massive overreaction on your part!

Changed my vote since you said what he did. You are totally bu.

You need to get over yourself and move on

Yes it was crass and you can reassure yourself that others at the wedding probably thought it was a twattish comment to make but honestly in the grand scheme of things I’d let it go. This is what blokes do, especially drunk blokes.

you don’t need to go out of your way to see him but it’s not worth carrying this on indefinitely

Oh, well in that case I agree that you should move on.

Oh good lord.

It was a stupid crass comment in a best man speech that he's apologised for. Holding grudges is childish.

OMG, how old are you? The way people chose to be offended nowadays is ridiculous! Not funny, I agree but to still hold a grudge is utterly ridiculous and very unfair for your OH.

Absolutely YABU. It was an attempt at humour, to make people laugh. You may not have found it funny and felt a bit embarrassed but its not awful and certainly not enough to cut ties with someone and put your DH in this awkward position indefinitely.

Blimey I was expecting something awful. You are being a complete diva to hold a grudge over that.

He upset you, he’s apologised repeatedly and even changed his drinking habits as a result. I’d say it’s time for you to move on.

I thought it was going to be something really bad, not something mildly embarrassing. Get over yourself.

Get over yourself, for heaven’s sake.

I’m great at holding grudges, I cannot move on sometimes but even I would have accepted the apology and made peace with his stupid juvenile comment. Stand firm if you need too but don’t make yourself miserable or miss out on socialising/events because of him.

No way is this really why you have held a grudge against your husbands best friend for a year…

You should always be decent with a spouse's friends. If they do/say something that is appalling enough that you can't stand being with them, then your partner shouldn't be friends with them. If it's not a big enough deal that you're ok him being friends with the man, then you should be ok. If it is a really big deal, say if he made racist remarks/hit you, then you shouldn't be ok with your husband being his friend.
If he did something really bad due to alcohol issues, and his since cleaned up his act, give him another chance anyway. Holding onto grudges eventually destroys you.

Is that all! I thought it was something disgusting he said in the best man's speech.

OP you are being ridiculous. I thought it would be far worse than that! Time to put it behind you.

He's apologised repeatedly. I'd move on. It was juvenile humour, but if you want your marriage to succeed then I'd put my offended feelings aside now.

Your DH is obviously close to this person and is beginning (I suspect) to see you as a petty bitch who holds a grudge.