Am I wrong to continue to refuse to socialise with DH’s best man

[Westernweath]

I got married last summer (2025) and took offence to a comment made by DH’s best man. Juvenile humour at my expense. I remained calm at the time but told DH in no uncertain terms I would not socialise with him again.

He has respected that until now. Big row last night that I’ve ‘dragged it out for over a year and need to move on now’. I explained I felt embarrassed in front of family and friends. He says as he has apologised repeatedly I should give him a second chance, and be mindful that a lot of alcohol was consumed by him and he has ‘cut right down as a result’.

Maybe I am stubborn. But I believe that fool me once, you don’t get another chance.

YABU - move on and agree to meet up
YANBU - stick to your position

I'd try and move past this.

Sounds like he didn't even mean offence and it was almost a (poorly judged) attempt at an affectionate compliment as to how lovely you looked on your wedding day. Doesn't sound like it was said with malice

You say "fool me once..." you don't believe in second chances and forgiveness? Even when someone has apologised and taken note of how they hurt you? Not sure I could live like that

I'd say words to the effect that I will socialise with him but last chance. I don't think I'd ever like him but could be polite.

He says as he has apologised repeatedly I should give him a second chance, and be mindful that a lot of alcohol was consumed by him and he has ‘cut right down as a result’.

Time to move on from that particular comment as he has apologised and amended his ways. I'll admit if it had been a sexual comment my answer might have been different.

Move on! He's apologised. Big over reaction from you imo

I don't think it's that forgivable at all. Apologising doesn't make words unsaid. It was a horrible comment from a grubby man on your special day. I mean if he was known to be a drunken sot why did your husband choose him as best man? I also tend to the view that birds of a feather flock together.

It was a bad taste comment but not a comment that reveals appalling values. The comment only reflected badly on him, not you.
I think a second chance is appropriate, but if he does it again you can take a harder line.

I thought it was going to be something awful. You’re being very immature.

Move on. You don't need to be buddies but you can be civil.

😂😂😂 ffs get a sense of humour .

I do think you ought to move on from it especially if he's apologised repeatedly. It was a rude comment and I'd have felt embarrassed too and yeah I'd have wanted space from that person but I do think more than a year refusing to speak to him is an overreaction. I'd give him a chance to prove changed behaviour but if he does it again then fair enough hold a grudge.

Life is way too short to hold a grudge over this. Move on!

Yabvu.

I take it you didn't like his best man in the first place and this was the excuse you needed to cut him off (even if it is a ridiculously piss poor one).

I’ll be honest, I thought it was one of those grubby speeches that mention the couple’s sex life in way too much detail, to put it mildly. In which case, fair enough.

What he said was pretty mild, unless it was a complete lie? Several apologies and a change of habits should be enough to make up for it.

Oh my god OP. Having read what was said you are MASSIVELY overreacting.....you've held a grudge for a year- honestly just ridiculous.

You've over reacted and he still apologized you need to drop it

You cannot be serious. Are you 12?! Scrap that - my 12 year old would be more mature. Are you 10?! Jesus - get over yourself. Your poor husband!

I was waiting to hear that he'd made some revolting sexual comment or disclosed something inappropriate for a intergenerational audience, not a shite, obviously non-serious remark about farting made when pissed.

You've taken against him now and don't like him, so I can't see why your husband thinks he needs to push you together socially.
I think you should be polite to him when your paths cross and you meet naturally or unavoidably, that you shouldn't forbid him your home, but I don't see the sense in creating social opportunities for the two of you, or that when he comes round you should have to sit and chat. He's DH friend doesn't need to be yours.

If I heard that comment I would think that he values you as a down-to-earth friend tbh, and it was a great compliment to say how lovely you looked on the day.

Women on here can be so touchy, precious and superior. What's wrong with being childish sometimes? I like people who don't take themselves too seriously.

I honestly think you've done yourself no favours here, sorry.

This is what blokes do
Oh that's all right then

Well I agree with you. He sounds like a twat.
I wouldn't want to forgive that either.

Is that all he said? Get over it. You’re very uptight.

He has apologised.

It was a rude and ill judged comment but he has apologised and also moderated his drinking. Presumably matured.

Being able to accept an apology is also mature / grown up

Your poor husband

I think you need get over yourself. Are you usually so highly strung?
it was a silly comment that warranted a ‘haha as if’.
sounds like you’re trying to sabotage your dh’s friendship.