Too old to hold DS's hand?

[Boyandgirlmummy88]

At what age did you stop holding your DS's hand

DS is 5 and very much a mummy's boy (not going to lie secretly.love it, he's my last which I am happy about as have 2 and know how lucky I am and juat have no desire to do the new orn phase again)

He still wants to hold my hand. All the time. Walking to school. Out shopping etc.

Dh hates it and constantly tells me to let go.

Today we have come away on holiday and were walking through the airport, I had a suitcase in one hand and DS's hand in the other and DH went mad telling me to let go and stop treating him like a child (even though he is one)

I argued its a busy foreign airport so would rather he held.my hand and was met with moaning by dh about how i treated him like a much you get child etc etc

For reference, dd is 10 and would still happily hold my hand if dh didn't moan at us both about that as well

She’s done wrong by stopping holding her 10 year olds hand due to his behavior

It is sad your husband has already made you stop holding hands with your DD, don't let him stop that with your DS.
Holding your children's hand is an affectionate feeling. How dare he stop that just because there's something wrong with his way of thinking.
Tell him firmly not to interfere with you holding your DS's.

Dh hates it and constantly tells me to let go.

How gross! Our boys are 11 & 9 and DH will still hold their hand happily, me too of course.

Other pps have said it but our DH is an idiot.

What an arse of a man. If your children want to hold your hand then why would you stop them at any age?

I actually thought you were going to say he was fifteen and you were demanding his hand when you were out 😊

No but it’s hardly common is it. It’s a total non issue at age 5 anyway but if the boy was 10 I’d be on the dad’s side here if the mum is encouraging babying and discouraging independence. My DS is year 6 and nobody holds hands with their mum within sight of their school friends. At that age they should be beginning to pull back and be more independent. I also work at a university and have witnessed so many open days and graduation days and I’ve never seen a young person holding hands with their parents and I think I would because I’d find it a bit weird.

You did say 5 right? Who in their right mind let's a 5 year old wander round on their own in a busy airport? If course you hold his hand, he's not a baby but he's a young child and somewhere like that you need to hold hands to keep safe.
Just for reference my 6 year old son still holds my hand or his dad's hand when we're out and about (he does have SEN but I'd still let him even if he didn't and somewhere busy he wouldn't have an option).
Does your husband ever take your son out alone? Because I'd be putting a stop to that as he's obviously fine with your son running off or falling in the road or whatever. You can't trust him.
You need to have a discussion with him. It's not okay for him to behave like a jealous toddler because his children hold mum's hand. And your poor daughter no longer holds your hand because of her dad! Not on , you need to sort this for their sake.

This is not normal. I think you know that OP. Is he generally controlling?

Your husband is a glaring example of toxic masculinity and he's hurrying his small child out of childhood into a world where men have to appear tough. That world doesn't have to exist either.

OR hes one of those bizarre jealous men who resent their own chikdren getting affection from their wives (more importantly the childrens mother!) Hold your boys hands and if your dh says anything, just say what are you imagining is so sick about this? If he rails at the suggestion just push back, "why do you tbinknits so wrong for a child to hold their parents hand? What will they learn from reaching for a hand to have it pushed away??"

He's a prick.

This is definitely a strange thing to think. I work in KS1 and lots of kids arrive holding their parents hand or run over to them at the end of the day and they walk off hand in hand.
My DD in year 6 frequently chooses to hold mine or DHs hand when out still. And if we are somewhere busy my son will also grab hold of one of us as he will feel overwhelmed and anxious of getting lost. I would have thought a 5 year old holding hands was the norm.
You definitely have a DH issue.

My son is 10 and still wants to hold my hand

Your DH is absolutely insane. My DS is about to turn 11 and we both still hold his hand! With my eldest it stopped about secondary school so you've got to get the hand holds in while they still want to!

Stopping a child holding their mother’s hand is nasty and controlling. I’m sure her husband could “explain himself” but there is no justification for that. Maybe OP’s son is a mummy’s boy because his father is a dick?

'Defend dc when dh tells him off' stood out. Do you undermine his parenting of dc? Do you do this defense thing infront of dc or privately speak to dh after?

Once again a thread about a twatting man being a twatting twat!!!!

You hold your DS's hand for as long as he wants you to. Ignore him.

Maybe he is. I think they need to talk about it properly.

You have a DH problem. He has an issue with showing public physical affection to his children.

Your 5 y.o needs the comfort your hand gives him. Little ones need the physical reassurance (hand, kisses, hugs) to make them feel safe. Even teens, like your 15 y.o, need the emotional security to feel physically conected from time to time.

I'm the mother of 3 very adult sons and they still take my hand or wrap it under their arm when we go out.

My DS is 15 and held my hand for a while whilst hiking on holiday this summer. I was over the moon 🤣
I would put money on your DH being toxic in other ways too. Jealous much?
Be very careful - my DP is jealous of my bond with our DS. It's ruined their relationship.

Your DH is a dick.

What is causing is extreme reaction is an everyday occurrence between children and adults?

And why does he think a 5yo and 10yo holding an adults hand are being dependent?

Your DH is definitely out of order! DS is 5! Take all the hand holding whilst you can, time passes so quickly and then you’ll suddenly realise one day that DS no longer reaches for your hand - it definitely stings!

Do you point out to him the many, many mums and dads of kids aged 5 and older that are happily holding their hands as they go about their business, especially in airports, busy places and unfamiliar places?

That is so lovely.

@Boyandgirlmummy88 Your husband sounds awful. Apart from the basic safety aspect of keeping hold of a small child in a busy airport, it’s perfectly natural to hold your child’s hand until much older than this (as old as you both want!). Did your husband have a difficult childhood himself - perhaps a father who had views that boys should be like little men? Is he abusive in other ways, as this is very worrying behaviour?

My boys are 16 and 13 and will still reach out for my hand sometimes - although the 16 year old is so much taller than me that he's actually more likely to kinda hook his arm through mine instead, and the 13 year old quickly drops it if anyone he knows comes by :)

I'd be interested to ask your husband if he would respond this way if your DS was a girl.

There is enough toxic masculinity in our society.

This is a 5 year old boy. Your DH needs to wake up. And maybe watch 'Adolescence'.

That stood out to me. He sounds like a twat with the hand holding but if he’s regularly facing being totally undermined when he tries to tell his son off I can understand his total frustration.