Too old to hold DS's hand?

[Boyandgirlmummy88]

At what age did you stop holding your DS's hand

DS is 5 and very much a mummy's boy (not going to lie secretly.love it, he's my last which I am happy about as have 2 and know how lucky I am and juat have no desire to do the new orn phase again)

He still wants to hold my hand. All the time. Walking to school. Out shopping etc.

Dh hates it and constantly tells me to let go.

Today we have come away on holiday and were walking through the airport, I had a suitcase in one hand and DS's hand in the other and DH went mad telling me to let go and stop treating him like a child (even though he is one)

I argued its a busy foreign airport so would rather he held.my hand and was met with moaning by dh about how i treated him like a much you get child etc etc

For reference, dd is 10 and would still happily hold my hand if dh didn't moan at us both about that as well

wtf is wrong with your husband. he's 5 years old

I'll never understand these men

This. Your DH sounds like a jealous big baby!

Your husband is an idiot. Of course you hold hand to a 5 yo in a busy area (e.g. airport) and/or to cross the road etc.

I don't systematically hold hands to my 3 and 4 year old in the street anymore, unless they want to. But we always do when there is a potential danger, and being separated in a busy place is one.

Your dh is just. A 5 year old in a busy airport is he mad!

it doesn’t matter if he wants to hold your hand.

Your husband is a dick
tell him his options are to STFU and never mention this ugly jealousy of his ever again or fuck off
one of my sons is 11 and still reaches for my hand every now and then. And it makes my heart sing. It won’t last forever and it will be over all too soon.

I don't understand your thinking here? If your children choose to hold your hand at times then let them? They are obviously doing it for a reason.

I only have one, (early teen) but when he reaches out to me (being taller than me and "cool") it is magical and I hold on.

Obviously he would let go or not reach out at a bus stop etc.

Thats very weird of your DH. My 11 year old still holds our hands often. He might let go if a friend appears these days but he still likes to hold hands.

How do you think your dh would react if ds turned out to be gay? Because ATM he's screaming of toxic masculinity/sexism/homophobia

My DS is 18 and I still hold his hand.
It’s lovely.

Your husband is a POS

Christ your husband would hate me. DS is 9, still holds my hand, still calls me mummy and I occassionally carry him on my back (sadly he is nearly as tall as me so those days are numbered). I still held hands with my dad as a teen in busy, unfamiliar places.

The constant rush to treat children like grown ups always baffles and disgusts me. I'll let my children be children thank you.

Yanbu, your H sounds like a dick head, I am certain he holds other awful views too...

Grown adults walk along holding hands. Your husband better hope he doesn’t get unsteady on his feet in old age and needs help from his children!

He is FIVE. Of course you can hold his hand. DH needs telling.

We both regularly hold DS(7)'s hand, not looking forward to the day he decides he is too old or too cool.

He refuses to hold both of our hands simultaneously though "I don't want to be in the middle!" no idea why.

Is your DH your son's father? It seems very odd he says you treat your very young child like a baby, of course he still needs help with most things. Does he behave this way about other people?

He's 5! Imagine being 5 and wanting to hold mummy's hand and not being allowed to - so sad. I'd be holding DD10's hand too for as long as she'd let me. Tell you DH to stop being such an ogre.

I have a 5y and we still hold hands, although fingers are starting to wriggle away. 😥💔

It was just 6 months ago, or so, that I told my dc how much I love holding hands, but one day they'll not want to and the reply was, But, mummy, why wouldn't I want to hold your hand? 😭

Sorry - your husband is wrong.
there might be an underlying issue there around mollycoddling or something from his side - that’s his issue, but holding hands with a 5 year old in an airport is totally necessary.

there’s plenty of time for them to be grown up and independent later - as their mum, you enjoy this time when they want to hold your hand for as long as you can, and don’t let anyone - even DH - take that away.

This!

I think you husband is the major (red flag) problem here hun…

I bet he went to boarding school.

Your DH is being a twat.
I still sometimes hold my youngest DS hand. He's 11. He has reached for my hand considerably less over the last year. That's fine, I think that's normal.
I would definitely hold a 5 year old's hand.

Does your DH think it's emasculating?
Is he part of the manosphere? Is he homophobic?

For your DH to be triggered so much by his 5 year old son holding his mum's hand is deeply worrying. There is something very wrong in his thinking which he needs to reframe.

Your dh is very weird and nasty in this respect. He’s 5 ffs!

Mine still does sometimes and he's 12. I can't understand why you'd stop it. He will grow out of it when he's ready and that's definitely not at 5!

Sorry @Boyandgirlmummy88 but this would have me questioning my relationship with DH rather than what I should be doing with my children. I have a 5yo DS and I absolutely would not be told that I shouldn’t be holding his hand 😳😳

I have had a go at DH a few times recently because he tends to really baby DS and I don’t think it’s great for teaching him independence but I’m talking things like - DS taking his plate to the kitchen when he’s finished his dinner, getting himself dressed, grabbing his coat before we leave the house etc. DS is perfectly capable of doing all these things and does them no problem when it’s just him and I but DH won’t even ask him, he just automatically does everything for him rather than giving him some responsibility.
Of course, anything he needs help with I am absolutely there for!!

Anything involving safety isn’t even a question. And as long as he even just wants the comfort of holding my hand, I’m there for it! Your DH would have a field day with me - I still cuddle my 5yo to sleep 😂😂