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Too old to hold DS's hand?

253 replies

Boyandgirlmummy88 · Yesterday 22:13

At what age did you stop holding your DS's hand

DS is 5 and very much a mummy's boy (not going to lie secretly.love it, he's my last which I am happy about as have 2 and know how lucky I am and juat have no desire to do the new orn phase again)

He still wants to hold my hand. All the time. Walking to school. Out shopping etc.

Dh hates it and constantly tells me to let go.

Today we have come away on holiday and were walking through the airport, I had a suitcase in one hand and DS's hand in the other and DH went mad telling me to let go and stop treating him like a child (even though he is one)

I argued its a busy foreign airport so would rather he held.my hand and was met with moaning by dh about how i treated him like a much you get child etc etc

For reference, dd is 10 and would still happily hold my hand if dh didn't moan at us both about that as well

OP posts:
HairReplacementTherapy · Yesterday 22:14

What is wrong with your DH? He's 5! You should be holding his hand in an airport for safety if nothing else. At best he's a moron, at worst he's a shit dad.

SpringSunshines · Yesterday 22:16

Is he jealous?
He is being ridiculous

Sugarleaf · Yesterday 22:16

What the hell have I just read. Your husband thinks you’re treating your 5yr old like a child?

He’s disgusting. And he’s depriving you of a normal mother/ child relationship. I think that’s bordering on abusive. Leave the fucking twat

crumacrocs · Yesterday 22:16

Dh is a dickhead. I still hold my 10 y o ds’s hand when he wants to

girljulian · Yesterday 22:16

I thought you were going to say he was 25! Of course you should be holding his hand at 5, what is wrong with your husband?

SaveItForSomeoneElse · Yesterday 22:16

Your boy is only 5, and of course wants to hold hands with you or his daddy. Your husband is a massive twat, and not a very kind father.

My granddaughters still wanted to hold my hand until they were about 10.

dontforgetme · Yesterday 22:16

My lad was still holding my hand sometimes at 8! He’s 9 now and hasn’t reached for my hand for a good 6 months. I’m sad!! Enjoy it op, fuck your dh!

upintheloft · Yesterday 22:17

Your DH is horrible. He really needs to work out why this bothers him. Hold their hands and don’t let his controlling behaviour stop you. Or LTB and do it comfortably anyway.

Sugarleaf · Yesterday 22:17

My daughter is now 11 and very occasionally she takes my hand (when no-one is looking) and those times are magical.

ilovethehols · Yesterday 22:17

5 yes

I though you were going to say 15 🤣

Coulddowithanap · Yesterday 22:18

How odd of your husband.

My children stopped holding my hand when they moved up to secondary school when they decided and not on someone else's orders.

TheIntricaciesOfHarpUpkeepAndMaintenance · Yesterday 22:18

Your husband is being strange. Does anyone ever want to hold his hand?

BertieBotts · Yesterday 22:19

Youngest is 5 and still loves holding hands. I love it!! As DS1 and 2 always hated holding hands after about 3 or so and would fight to be allowed to walk alone. DS3 just slips his tiny hand into my big one and beams up at me, it is so cute.

I'm sure they will not want to do it when they are 25 and even if they did so what?

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · Yesterday 22:19

I thought you were going to say he was 12 and walking to secondary school!

I would always hold the hand of a five year old in a busy airport, because that just equals the most basic level of responsibility IMO.

hotmumshit · Yesterday 22:19

Leave this man x

mamaof4losingmymind · Yesterday 22:20

I think 5 in busy places is fine but I do see where your dh is coming from there is a cut off. My sister use to still hold my nephews hand at 8 and he was tall and looked older then his age and i use to comment on that

boredwithfoodprob · Yesterday 22:21

I thought you were going to say he was 17 😂 But 5!! That’s prime hand holding age!! For safety if nothing else!

Boyandgirlmummy88 · Yesterday 22:21

If hes 15 and still reaching for my hand then I agree that's different

But at 5 I am still encouraging it

I don't know why DH has such a thing about it. Jealousy maybe. He thinks I treat ds as a baby because he is our last but its not that, I am well and truly.over the baby phase (and have a few baby nieces and nephews i get to enjoy baby cuddles with and then hand back!!)

And by treating like a baby its because I will hold his hand, help empty his school bag/lunch box after school and will defend DS if Dh is telling him off but there's a reason behind what he has done

OP posts:
HairReplacementTherapy · Yesterday 22:21

mamaof4losingmymind · Yesterday 22:20

I think 5 in busy places is fine but I do see where your dh is coming from there is a cut off. My sister use to still hold my nephews hand at 8 and he was tall and looked older then his age and i use to comment on that

I hope your sister told you to shut up and mind your own business

fizzywidget · Yesterday 22:21

Your DD doesn’t hold your hand because her dad makes her feel bad about it?? I’ve read some sad things on mumsnet but this is right up there. Your DH is being weird and horrible, and like fuck would I let any man tell me how to show affection to my small children.

Newnamesameme · Yesterday 22:22

He sounds jealous of your boy. This is a massive red flag. I bet there is more. I think you need to reflect honestly if this man is a good influence on your son. How is his relationship with his mother?

QuirkyHorse · Yesterday 22:22

Is your DH jealous because they don't hold his hand?

I look back fondly on having their little hands in mine as we walked along.

My mother used to squeeze my fingers together really hard when she held my hand. I hated holding her hand! I vowed to hold my children's hands as long as they liked.

HelloIsitChristmasyet · Yesterday 22:23

My youngest is nearly 9 and loves to hold hands. The other day we were walking to school and he said "mummy my favourite thing is holding hands with you to walk to school." I genuinely never realised it was so important to him

RosaBaby2 · Yesterday 22:26

What on earth? My 8 year old is still holding hands with me and long may it last😍

GreenSlippers44 · Yesterday 22:26

Your husband is jealous of a 5-year-old child holding his mother’s hand?! What the absolute hell have I just read????