Partner wants half for hotel ….

[luluxxx]

My partner said that it’s his friends birthday next month and he’s having a get together.
Now his friend lives in Manchester and we live in Edinburgh
He said he would book the hotel for us.
To then tell us we need to meet them at 1pm that day so we would need to go for 2 nights.
The night before is partners birthday.
So he said we can turn it into 2 nights.
I assumed he was paying for the 2 nights in hotel

Nope today I asked him and he said he assumed I would be paying for the 1st night as it was his birthday (bare in mind in September I paid £450 for flights to go to Spain for his birthday ) I mentioned this and he said “that wasn’t my birthday was it really ,just a trip”

Its caused a massive argument as he was just shouting saying I really expected him to pay for his birthday night hotel.
I have to buy his gifts (he has picked £100 trainers ) which is fine but he will want hoodie etc too
Then when we are there we are going for a meal (which I will have to Pay for as at his birthday)
Its also our first holiday payment this month

was I wrong to think he would pay ?
Also he gets a lot more wages than me ..probably around £740 a month more

I'd absolutely expect to split the cost of the hotel. You don't "need" an extra night though, you could just get the train in the morning and still be there in plenty of time to meet friends at 1pm.

The birthday stuff I'd be very unimpressed by though, both the lack of gratitude and the entitled attitude.

Dump him. Cancel the holiday.
He’s a tight greedy get whose taking you for a fool.

I would point out what you have already done so the flights( which were his present whatever he says) and the trainers. I would not be getting him a hoodie

i would point out he earns far more than you and you can’t afford it so you are happy to stay at home and he can go on his own

cant you get a really early flight from Edinburgh to Manchester?

God he sounds like a right spoilt princess. Where do people find these "men".

Urgh, nothing worse than a tightwad. Men who are tight-fisted are repugnant to me. I would be re-considering if you want to stay with this man. Do NOT have a baby with him @luluxxx

How long have you been together? Why are you buying him all this stuff? You buy what u can afford, just because he says he wants £100 trainers, you don’t have to get them you know!

And also he wasn’t that appreciative about the Spain trip. Think carefully Op as this guy sounds quite financially petty, I think he would be a nightmare if u moved in together

Good grief, does he think you’re his mother? Whole man —> bin.

I have to buy his gifts (he has picked £100 trainers ) which is fine but he will want hoodie etc too

Dont you have a budget for presents? In our house its £xx for presents

I’m case you need it spelled out this is financial, emotional & verbal abuse. You sound like you might be trauma bonded to this man. Unless you get away this relationship will cause you great harm & pain. I suggest you find an abuse informed counsellor to support you to get out of it.

“Ok, I will need to return your trainers and hoodie but with that money I can pay for the hotel for one night.”
Tbh though at the time of him mentioning the hotel I would of asked how much it would cost me so I could decide if I was happy to pay it or not before booking

He is taking you somewhere...he's taking you for a ride.

This. ^

Prexactly!
Earns more, demands more. Pretends the previous gift wasn't a gift, shouts at you.

I'd stay in Edinburgh and move out whilst he's away.

So he’s tight and shouty? Bin him.

I would just say that you are happy to accompany him to meet his friend but if you are expected to pay you won’t bother as it’s not something you want to spend your money on and it’s not a birthday gift.

id tell him I’d cancel the Spain trip if I could but it’s too late- that was his birthday present and I can’t just pay for a hotel too. If he wants to go to this trip he pays for the hotel and dinner, otherwise we don’t go, and I’d tell him he’s greedy, stingy and ungrateful so good luck getting any gifts ever again since apparently it was ‘just a trip’.

Just don't go, you don't need to pay to be his +1

I followed the link to your other thread about him. Please get out of this abusive controlling relationship any way you can.

Gifts are freely given not demanded.
You should never spend more than you can afford regardless of whether your BF feels entitled to things.
Your BF is ungrateful. He will never be satisfied.
Does he ever express pure joy and thankfullness with your company?

that's exactly what I thought. Exactly like a child who expected to be clothed and fed and made a fuss of on their birthday.
So he's had a Spanish holiday with you paying £450 for flights.
He's had £100 trainers for his birthday already, but he picked them out so that won't count
He also expects an expensive "Hoodies etc" - another £200?
You've also got to pay for a hotel room £150?
The you have to buy a birthday meal for at least two, but probably more if the friend comes too. Could be another £100 - £200 or more
That's already around £1,100
He's not even nice to you, shouts at you. When he earns nearly £1k a month more than you!
As others have asked, what did he give you for your birthday @luluxxx

And on top of that
you'll be eating out in Manchester the next day
Drinking in bars
Transport from Ed to Manch
First payment of your holiday due too...
Cancel the weekend
Cancel the holiday
Cancel the man.

If you have mutually agreed to go for a trip to another city for a break should you not be sharing the costs fairly? No one owes anyone anything g? With the exception of a birthday gift perhaps.

It doesn't matter whose friend's birthday it is. It's a joint trip, it should be expected that the hotel cost would be split between them. That said, I'm getting the impression there's a whole back story that I'm oblivious to here, so this might all be a moot point.

As pps said, he sounds like a particularly unpleasant spoiled teenager, who thinks you're his mum. Ug!

Actually my 12 year old nephew displays more kindness to his mum than your partner does to you. He's sensitive to her financial situation and not demanding.

The icing on the cake is that your partner feels entitled to demand so much from you when his income is actually greater than yours!And shouts at you too, he's repulsive. How can you be attracted to him?

I am not clear whether you live together or not, but either way you need to get rid of him ASAP. Far better to be single than with this 'man'.

Gosh ,he's not the man for you
My husband and I fight to try to pay for the other one
That's just nasty op ,it goes beyond tight

Tell Him to go alone. Oh and you won’t be forking out for any hotel or travel.

He sounds selfish and tight. Why are you with him?