Partner wants half for hotel ….

[luluxxx]

My partner said that it’s his friends birthday next month and he’s having a get together.
Now his friend lives in Manchester and we live in Edinburgh
He said he would book the hotel for us.
To then tell us we need to meet them at 1pm that day so we would need to go for 2 nights.
The night before is partners birthday.
So he said we can turn it into 2 nights.
I assumed he was paying for the 2 nights in hotel

Nope today I asked him and he said he assumed I would be paying for the 1st night as it was his birthday (bare in mind in September I paid £450 for flights to go to Spain for his birthday ) I mentioned this and he said “that wasn’t my birthday was it really ,just a trip”

Its caused a massive argument as he was just shouting saying I really expected him to pay for his birthday night hotel.
I have to buy his gifts (he has picked £100 trainers ) which is fine but he will want hoodie etc too
Then when we are there we are going for a meal (which I will have to Pay for as at his birthday)
Its also our first holiday payment this month

was I wrong to think he would pay ?
Also he gets a lot more wages than me ..probably around £740 a month more

What a spoilt first class Brat.

DH has always paid for holidays (except for one time when I was able to pay for everything). Dump him. You are far better than him, do not lower yourself to his level.

Yes exactly this.

He sounds really tight. And shouting at you? No. Get him in the bin.

Are you going to Manchester too OP? If so, surely that counts as a trip that you should both pay for? I’m confused about why only you paid for the Spain trip though.

“He will want a hoody as well” really irked me for some reason, he can buy one himself then, the demanding little prince. Tell him you’ll pay half for the hotel after he’s paid half the cost of the trip to Spain.

Any man over 16 asking his woman to buy him things is a grade A loser

@Gobbledegoo why don’t you pay for any holidays? Unless you’re a SAHM I’d assume couples would share the costs.

He sounds like a spoilt child. And an unappreciative one too.

This seems a total nonsense.

Why did you go away for his birthday in September if his birthday is in November?

Unless these are big number party birthdays, going all the way to Manchester from Edinburgh to celebrate is crazy.

He has asked for trainers, so you have bought him those - though your phrase 'I have to buy his gifts' seems you resent it. I wouldn't be buying a hoodie as well, however much he might want it.

Why can't you just say - No, I can't afford the trip, the meal, the hotel and the gifts. We can have a nice meal in Edinburgh and I'll get you the trainers, but anything with your friend is up to you, I can't afford it. Sorry.

Loser

If the Spain trip was for his birthday, that's his present. This new trip is something else, even if it falls on his birthday.
If he's told you you're going, he pays. You don't have to go.

He doesn’t sound like a great long term partner. You can do better.

Don't waste any more time on this relationship

He's milking you isnt he? 🤔
And using his birthday as an excuse to justify it.
I would be rethinking a relationship with someone who is tight fisted.

A stingy partner is a red flag. 🚩
Especially if you are treating him (as he expects it) but does he treat you as lavishly in return?

This will bring you misery in the long run.
I would give the trip to Manchester a miss myself and let him go alone. 🤔
I would also be tempted to cancel the holiday or if you cannot recoupe the loss, then get the name changed on the holiday to another pal/family member who would go with you to salvage it. 🏖

LTB.
@luluxxx

Clearly has no respect for himself and definitely has none for you. He's embarrassing

Not SAHM: Never was, always worked but only casual/part time, as DH did rotating shifts, until DC were at senior school. On returning to work FT I paid for some of the bills (car fuel, food, animal costs, home furnishing/decorating, all my own stuff) DH earned more than me.

Retired now and share costs. Tried joint account but it didn't work for us.

We have never argued about money, where to live etc.

How is he your partner? What makes him a partner I mean? Sounds like an acquaintance with benefits?

Wow he is being massively unreasonable! I’d tell him that there won’t be any presents then or cancel the trip or he goes alone to his friends and pay for that. Me personally I’d bin him off for being selfish and entitled with my money.

Ask for half the money for the 'not a birthday present' trip to Spain' and pay for half of the hotel using that. Ungrateful rude bastard.

Even better bin him off - he shouts at you over shit like this because he's a ponce... really?

Don't go and save yourself a small fortune?
He's what they say here on MN, a CF.

And shouting at you for not getting his own way? F-that.

You both sound about 12 why are you with him, id tell him you paid for the flights and you are not paying for anything else and that if its a problem he can leave as no one has the right to dictate to you how to spend your money

He's an absolute leech.

He earns more than you but expects you to pay for a hotel when you're travelling because it's HIS friend's birthday?

Why are you with this absolute charmer?

Easy… tell him of course… you’ll take it off his trip to Spain as that was just a trip and he should therefore pay his half

Also, you don’t have to buy him whatever he wants for his birthday

Yep. Nope. Time to move on. He doesn't meet the grade requirements for excellent partner material and potential fatherhood. Why would you settle for this?