Partner wants half for hotel ….

[luluxxx]

My partner said that it’s his friends birthday next month and he’s having a get together.
Now his friend lives in Manchester and we live in Edinburgh
He said he would book the hotel for us.
To then tell us we need to meet them at 1pm that day so we would need to go for 2 nights.
The night before is partners birthday.
So he said we can turn it into 2 nights.
I assumed he was paying for the 2 nights in hotel

Nope today I asked him and he said he assumed I would be paying for the 1st night as it was his birthday (bare in mind in September I paid £450 for flights to go to Spain for his birthday ) I mentioned this and he said “that wasn’t my birthday was it really ,just a trip”

Its caused a massive argument as he was just shouting saying I really expected him to pay for his birthday night hotel.
I have to buy his gifts (he has picked £100 trainers ) which is fine but he will want hoodie etc too
Then when we are there we are going for a meal (which I will have to Pay for as at his birthday)
Its also our first holiday payment this month

was I wrong to think he would pay ?
Also he gets a lot more wages than me ..probably around £740 a month more

YANBU. And I don't get adults expecting presents in general. It's pathetic.

What do you think he should have done? Then ask yourself why he has been content for you to overpay and for him to underpay? Finally think about this “pattern” continuing for your foreseeable future, because this has become a pattern and it reflects your different values. Money is a barometer of people’s values. He’s tight with you but not himself, and he’s argumentative…he out-earns you, and he’s tight with you but not himself and he’s argumentative ….

Point out that he expects trainers and more presents as well as a night away and a meal, explain that is a lot and you can’t afford it so either it’s a night away or you stay home and he can have trainers. He is coming off as really spoiled though!
Since the trip in September wasn't for his birthday, according to him, then he owes you money for it!

You don’t have to get him the trainers or the hoodie, or the trip away. You could tell him you can’t afford it and so you won’t be going.

Is there anything less attractive than a tight man baby who picks their own birthday presents?

If he has now decided that Spain was just a trip and not for his birthday, then he needs to
pay his half of that.

I’d also be pointing out that he cannot just decide that this Manchester trip is for his birthday and you’re paying for it. Birthdays gifts need to be offered by the giver. You’re not offering him a night in Manchester so you’re not paying for it.

Why do you even need to go for two nights? Just go down on the day, drop your bags at the hotel before check in, go meet the friends and then check in later.

Hi op your bf is obviously very entitled isn’t he. I’m sure when you mentioned paying for the flight you had said it’s for your birthday but seeing as he doesn’t think it was ask for half back seeing as it was just a trip. Also the hotel was his idea to stay 2 night so just go halves on everything you have his gift so no need to pay for everything ungrateful bastard.

What a spoilt little princess you're dating

Something seemed familiar so I looked at your prior posts.

You need to make steps to leave. I don’t know why you are still there. Stop pissing about. Why are you asking the same thing over and over and not addressing any of the issues?

I would tell him you have other plans. Let him pay for his own hotel.

Get half off him for the flights and then get rid.

This thread is bad enough - but this one is even worse! https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5564229-partner-twists-everythingam-i-wrong?reply=154028156

You need to leave him OP.

Just say that you can’t afford two nights with everything you’ve paid for recently and you hadn’t budgeted for this too but you’re happy to get up early on the Saturday so you can both travel to Manchester to meet friends at 1pm. If he’s that bothered he may well offer to pay for the night before

Oh OP, if he shouted in my face he'd be getting fuck all for his birthday or anything else ever again, including my time.

If you allow him to treat you like this and reward it with trainers, hoodie, hotel and dinner, you'd be a mug. He's had a 'trip' away on you already. That's more than enough.

Show him there's a consequence for disrespecting you. Although, if he thinks this behaviour is ok, he's not a keeper anyway.

I see from your other threads that he's nasty to you and a compulsive gambler.

Just dump the loser.

I understand it’s not easy or straightforward to leave but posting like the issue is isolated means posters don’t give proper advice. This man is poison @luluxxx and you need to get out.

I'd ask for half the cost of the flights to Spain and half of whatever else you spent there as he now doesn't regard it as part of his birthday treat. Or offset that cost against what he's asking for now.

Honestly as this point OP must just enjoy being treated like shit.

If she’s not going to leave after that previous thread, then this is nothing and definitely won’t leave now.

I will never understand why some people would rather be treated like shit than be single.

You keep doing the same things and expecting a different response.

He’s shown you he’s an arsehole many many times over. Why aren’t you paying attention?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5564229-partner-twists-everythingam-i-wrong?postsby=luluxxx

He sounds like a nasty piece of work. Curious about what he did for your last few birthdays.

“A holiday to Spain was your birthday gift. That’s your lot, you greedy ungrateful knob”

Zero value man. Walk away.

Tell Kevin to go to his mate Perry’s birthday by himself. What a greedy manchild.

If this was my partner I would be dissapointed. He is a greedy, entitled selfish man.

If it was me I would end the relationship but we are all different. I would tell him he gets the trainers and nothing else. This behaviour would put me off him. As for the shouting about his birthday and expecting a hoody as well, he sounds a spoilt bratt man child. He will not get any better.

Me and my boyfriend are going to visit my son in a town 4 hours away. I have paid for the air BnB for the nights we are there as it’s my son and I’m the one that wants to do. My partner is coming along and will pay for some of the meals but I wouldn’t expect him to pay for the air BnB as it’s my trip to see someone I want to see. He is coming along for the ride.

So I don’t see why you would pay for a trip to see your boyfriend’s friends.

I would just say it’s not worth arguing about so I am going to let you go by yourself with your friend. I’ll get you a gift (the trainers).

Or I would just dump him for shouting at you.