Partner wants half for hotel ….

[luluxxx]

My partner said that it’s his friends birthday next month and he’s having a get together.
Now his friend lives in Manchester and we live in Edinburgh
He said he would book the hotel for us.
To then tell us we need to meet them at 1pm that day so we would need to go for 2 nights.
The night before is partners birthday.
So he said we can turn it into 2 nights.
I assumed he was paying for the 2 nights in hotel

Nope today I asked him and he said he assumed I would be paying for the 1st night as it was his birthday (bare in mind in September I paid £450 for flights to go to Spain for his birthday ) I mentioned this and he said “that wasn’t my birthday was it really ,just a trip”

Its caused a massive argument as he was just shouting saying I really expected him to pay for his birthday night hotel.
I have to buy his gifts (he has picked £100 trainers ) which is fine but he will want hoodie etc too
Then when we are there we are going for a meal (which I will have to Pay for as at his birthday)
Its also our first holiday payment this month

was I wrong to think he would pay ?
Also he gets a lot more wages than me ..probably around £740 a month more

Is there some sort of rule (that I missed) where every single thing that happens on your birthday has to be paid for by someone else? I am owed a fecking fortune if that’s the case. He’s a bloody chancer OP. Tell him to stop being a whiny baby and pay up for a trip you’re only going on, and which is only being extended, because of him.

If you need to ask if YABU here, you need to get rid of him pronto.

How can you not see him for what he really is?

Do you like him?

What did this prince get you for your birthday?

Dimp him now I say. He is using you.

why are you with this man child? He owes you 50% for the Spain trip if it was not for his birthday. He does not get a birthday hoodie.

Seriously it sounds like he is just using you a mum replacement, not a partner. Plus I suspect this is just the tip of the iceberg - is everything else spit unevenly in his favour?

I agree with this op and then I would look at getting out of the relationship.

He sounds awful and selfish. If I were you I’d refuse to pay for the hotel.

Just let him go to his friend's thing on his own, no need for you to go too unless you particularly like the friend or want to visit Manchester.

If the flights to Spain were "just a trip not a present" then he can cough up his £225 for his half can't he?

Either communication in your relationship needs a lot of work to prevent these misunderstandings or he is a greedy tight git. Or both.

I have to this
I will have to that

is all i read
who says you HAVE to?
why do you HAVE to do anything??
he doesnt seem to think he HAS to to do anything

don't put that pressure on yourself
he doesn't put that pressure on himself

This man won't even make you a cup of tea @luluxxx. He punishes you by cancelling plans and berated you for ordering a takeaway. Your rental is your uncle's. Get rid of him and save yourself many more months of his abuse. You will be financially better off without spending hundreds on this pathetic, spoiled manchild. If you aren't back in work, your savings are needed for you not him.

If you're going too, why wouldn't you expect to share the cost of the hotel room if you have separate finances? The birthday is a red herring to me. It's a joint trip and a joint expense so the cost of the hotel should be split.

What does he do for your birthday? If he also spends loads and expects you to match him but you can't/ don't want to you need to tell him to dial.it down. If he doesn't spend loads but expects you to then he's spoilt.

if this is the case
OP
what is stopping you leaving him?
do you think he will change?
keeping yourself stuck with a man like that

You deserve better

Because she’s going for his friend’s birthday. He should have told her upfront that he expected money.

Especially as she spent £450 on a birthday holiday for him that he now dismisses as ‘just a trip’.

It’s disingenuous to invite someone and then ask for money later.

He’s not a partner, he’s a user who will always prioritise his own desires over yours. Get rid instead of wasting any more time with this loser. You can do so much better!

This!

And he can’t expect both the expensive gifts and the Edinburgh hotel (which is for his visit to his mate) paid for.

I would be reconsidering the relationship following the shouting about this tbh.

And I’d have thought it was more than possible to get from Edinburgh to Manchester in time for 1 pm without staying the extra night.

Just dump him, he sounds awful.

There was no need to book a second night to meet at one , just leave your bags at the hotel and check in later surely

He's rude and selfish as well as a gambling addict, which is why he never has any money and expects you to stump up for so many extras. You've made enough threads complaining about him, so here's an idea.

This weekend in Manchester is next month. Leave him now, then you won't have to go and won't have to pay for any of it.

And if you haven't been to Spain yet, go on your own and have a lovely time.

He sounds tight. What does he do for your birthday?

How old is the bloke? He wants a hoody, expensive trainers and a night with his mates? He sounds 17

You ‘have to’ pay for dinner.
You ‘have to’ buy him £100 trainers.
You ‘have to’ buy him a hoodie and assorted other shite he’s decided he wants.

Thing is, OP, you don’t ‘have to’ do any of these things.

Did you also pay for his flight to Spain? If so and he’s now decided that wasn’t actually his birthday but just a holiday, then he’ll obviously need to pay you back for his half, which should cover the first hotel night.

But all of this begs the question why you’d be in such a horribly joyless, transactional relationship with a grabby greedy man, who bullies you into spending your money on him because he has you so well-trained that you feel you have no choice.

Gifts should be freely given - according to what you can comfortably afford - and received with love and gratitude, not demanded, sulked over and kept on a fucking balance sheet by an entitled manbaby who measures his self-worth by how much he can extort from someone he allegedly loves.

Your boyfriend is a spoilt brat. My partner would never speak to me like that.

Just walk away from this relationship.

You don't "have" to buy him anything.
He absolutely shouldn't be shouting at you if he doesn't think he has enough presents.