Most stupid ways you’ve injured yourself?

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So I had toothache in one tooth. Thinking it was grinding I got a home tooth guard. Completly messed up the moulding process somehow but continued to push it up in to my teeth an bite down thinking it would work. Didn’t work for did process again.. same thing. Basically bit down into hard plastic! Now I’ve hurt my front teeth along with others hope they are just bruised but at this point I think it may be worse a need to see a dentist! Oh and the other tooth still hurts! Don’t know why I continued to do that or what the hell I was thinking but yes so so so stupid! The please tell me the most stupid things you’ve done to make me feel slightly better?

Got ran over by a boy in a bicycle when I was 2 . It broke my leg.

Tore a muscle in my neck when I sneezed while watching TV. Ended up on morphine and at physio!

This week gave myself a big bruise in my forehead banging into the door frame in our tiny wc, for no known reason except it’s a small space. Favourite was stepping onto hair irons on the floor and somehow getting foot inside and burnt to a giant blister.

Reached for the eye drops - and put nail glue in my eye. Needed a trip to A&E but luckily no long term damage.

Less hilariously I broke an ankle stand up paddleboarding - months on crutches and will never be the same.

Stepped off a 1cm kerb, (maximum height), broke both ankles, got multiple clots a few weeks later.. Health service was great tho!

I have never been a morning person.....as a teenager, I tottered into the kitchen one morning to brew some reviving coffee, an old gas ring which was lit with a match.
Gas was lit, kettle went on, and then the correct sequence was: inhale with mouth open, purse lips, blow out the match. Except that, in my zombified state, I pursed my lips before inhaling, thus sucking the flame onto my lips. That woke me up good and proper.

Put my back out brushing my teeth

Remarkably similar story here. I sneezed while opening the curtains and slipped a disc. Months of really serious pain and I didn’t even have a good story.

Chopping Xs into roast chestnuts. I missed and sliced through the top of my thumb and halfway through my thumbnail, then passed out.

exH injured his back putting out a ciggie. He was such a lazy sod he couldn't be bothered to get up to move the ashtray nearer, so he stretched and pulled a muscle. That was a week off work and walking around doubled up !😄

I let the cat out for a pee on new Year's Day at 7.00.am and then tripped over him, twisting my ankle. I was single at the time. None of my friends were up to take me to casualty until about 10.am.😫

When I was out delivering milk one very colf morning I slipped on some moss I desperately tried to throw the milk bottle to the side only to end up landing in top of it.

Cue my 1st ever operation as I could see the tendon in my finger and there was a piece of glass embedded in my elbow that a nurse was just going to extract when the door flew open and some shouted stop. The glass was sat in-between some nerves in my arm which had she carried on could have damaged them.

I wafted my duvet to straighten it up and put my back out. I didn't even have age as an excuse then as I was around 22...

My partner stepped off a small (0.5ft or so) wall, a dog caught his eye in the distance, he landed weird and tore all the ligaments in his ankle.

Fell off a stage doing karaoke - landed with the corner step of the stage up my arse... bruised tailbone.
pull my shoulder out taking off a sweaty sports bra.
I have also nearly died due to long trouser...

Don’t think you should be let loose! Trying to envisage these scenarios. Sorry but getting your toe stuck in a turn up made me giggle!

Liz is that you?

Half asleep, I pulled the covers up but they were caught under my foot - my hand slipped off the covers and gave me a black eye.

Doing hopscotch over a friend when under the influence..Fell and hit head against a concrete post. I was working on a Darwin award.

I've told this story as a cautionary tale to many people.

I went running with my dog along our usual country lanes a few summers ago. A combine harvester was rolling along steadily in front of us at quite a decent speed, heading from one farm to another. So we ran along behind it with about fifty metres between the harvester and the dog and I.

Turns out fifty metres is just the right distance for wasps to get REALLY ANGRY when the wide head of the combine clips their hedgerow nest. Dog and I were covered in very cross wasps for about half a mile. We both got stung, a lot. I got over it, but she now hides whenever she hears anything buzz anywhere near her.

You should have poured yourself a cup of ambition 😂😂😂

Jones? LOL! No mention of David and the Dunhill lighter 🤣

I ran myself over with a pallet truck and landed on my head. Concussion.

I blended my hand making baby food - the blades skipped happily over my fingers and finger nails. Funnily enough for a while I felt no pain at all. Mostly because I must have passed out from the shock. To this day 15 years later I still don't understand why I reached in. My brain physically must have stopped working.

Chipped a tooth licking the Kitchenaid beater attachment.

Terribly outing but - as a child, I nearly drowned in a public swimming pool. I thought it would a laugh to put inflatable arm bands on my ankles and jump in. Thank heavens the life guard was alert that day.