Most stupid ways you’ve injured yourself?

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So I had toothache in one tooth. Thinking it was grinding I got a home tooth guard. Completly messed up the moulding process somehow but continued to push it up in to my teeth an bite down thinking it would work. Didn’t work for did process again.. same thing. Basically bit down into hard plastic! Now I’ve hurt my front teeth along with others hope they are just bruised but at this point I think it may be worse a need to see a dentist! Oh and the other tooth still hurts! Don’t know why I continued to do that or what the hell I was thinking but yes so so so stupid! The please tell me the most stupid things you’ve done to make me feel slightly better?

Just remembered another one!
Back in the 90s in our old house, we got dry rot under the living room floor. Under the carpet were original, individually placed parquet blocks. The builder was popping them up one after the other with a crow bar, which looked fun. He stopped for a break, so I asked if I could have a go. He said be careful (didn't think to ask why, I was young and naive!) so once I'd started, I couldn't stop, as it was fun! My entire right palm ended up as one huge blister, from smacking the end of the crow bar continually! Showed the builder the next day and he said "You should have worn gloves"! Cheers for that mate! 🤣 I looked like I had an inflated surgical glove on my palm for a few days and boy was it sore when it popped!

Mine is aching now, I also got trigger thumb in it a few years ago, I blame the beans incident for that too.

DH told me had got some new sharp knives. Totally forgot, sliced a bun horizontally across my hand and big gash! Thank goodness for home sutures to avoid a and e for stitches.

Stupid thing to do anyway I know but I can normally judge it but this new blade sliced through the bread and then my skin like butter!

Biting through a nylon tag because the scissors were so far away.
Slipped off and lost one front tooth completely, the other was sticking out at 90 degrees. Still looks weird now as a solitary fang

I’ve always been very active, running, climbing mountains etc…… first time I broke a bone, I was 64 and tripped over a kerb in our village whilst walking the dog. So embarrassing and so painful! Stone cold sober, but outside the pub at school finish time, so many children staring and asking “is that women ok” I couldn’t get up for 30mins due to the pain. 🙄

I was cutting an avocado and the knife cut through the avocado stone and cut my thumb, there was a flap of skin and lots of blood.

Also, I was doing some distance learning A Levels as a mature student whilst working 4 days a week. I don’t know if it was the stress of the job I was doing but I got an RSI from gripping my pen too hard whilst taking notes 🤣

Avocado injuries are so common in A&E they’re referred to as Avocado hand, as my grandson found out when he went there with one!

Lakeland sell a gadget to help with avocado prep. Worth buying.

Oh my dm sliced her hand cutting up an avocado. She was making guacamole for a drinks party. I was still only learning to drive but dad wasn’t around. So I took her to a&e the only time the rule “the Co driver must be also be able to drive” was slightly broken. Like she had a crudely bandaged hand and whilst could have driven I was around and needed the practice.

Loved my wide legged jeans until one foot got caught in them, I fell and broke my wrist. The jeans are in a bag in the wardrobe. My initial intention was to burn them.

Is anyone else reading these and getting a weird twinge/pain in the pelvic floor? It happens to me all the time when I see or read about injuries!

Tripped over my dog on a flat surface. Thought i had sprained my ankle. Unsupported fracture. All 3 bones broken. 2 operations and a week in the major trauma unit. Big dog too!

I decided to spray paint all our metal garden furniture. Index finger swelled up like a balloon and has never fully recovered.

Sorry for the length of this post, but I still feel like every minute detail is burned into my brain.

Years ago, I moved into my flat and had lots of stuff to unpack. About 3 boxes in, I was holding the flap folded back with one hand and taking things out with the other. After a few minutes, my hand slipped and the flap shot back to an upright position. Unfortunately for me, and despite being a glasses wearer, the escapee flap somehow went up between my cheek and my glasses, and introduced itself to my left eyeball.

The pain was instant and excruciating. The injured eye was completely closed and streaming tears. Then the other eye started streaming in sympathy with its fallen partner. I tried to regain my composure, but it was impossible. Soon proper tears joined in with the teary gathering, and I just sat there sobbing. I couldn't see anything properly, and the pain just wouldn't subside, not even a little.
In less than an hour, I was in a taxi going to the eye department. God knows what the driver thought.
I was seen quickly, and it was established that my cornea had been sliced by the edge of the cardboard flap. After treatment, the pain was almost bearable, and I returned home with a goodie bag of painkillers and eye drops.
I won't give any more of the gory details, but suffice to say that I had to have 3 follow up appointments (including a truly horrific procedure to remove scar tissue to allow better healing 🤢)

That was around 20 years ago,and I STILL have occasional issue with that eye. I can now see the funny side. I'm sure I looked like something straight out of an old slapstick movie.

Thank you for coming to my traumatic Ted Talk. 👁

Went on a weekend away with friends… sleeping on different pillows have strained my neck muscles and 4 months later I’ve spent nearly £250 on physio and it’s still not better!

Very embarrassing and very x rated Id say was mine. It was an case of when fore play goes wrong. Yes I needed the hospital and yes an minor operation.