Most stupid ways you’ve injured yourself?

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So I had toothache in one tooth. Thinking it was grinding I got a home tooth guard. Completly messed up the moulding process somehow but continued to push it up in to my teeth an bite down thinking it would work. Didn’t work for did process again.. same thing. Basically bit down into hard plastic! Now I’ve hurt my front teeth along with others hope they are just bruised but at this point I think it may be worse a need to see a dentist! Oh and the other tooth still hurts! Don’t know why I continued to do that or what the hell I was thinking but yes so so so stupid! The please tell me the most stupid things you’ve done to make me feel slightly better?

Stretched my arm out of bed to shut my alarm clock up, but I was too far down the bed, arm missed the clock & the table, but momentum kept going i fell out of bed bashing my eye 👁 of the cabinet.

I don't think anyone believed me I go a black eye falling out of bed sober

Broke my nose putting my pyjamas on for bed, got my foot caught in the bottom of them and face planted the floor

Every man reading that first sentence has winced, let me assure you...

My own was trying to push the point of a compass into the blunt end of a non-eraser-tipped pencil, only to discover when it inevitably slipped that I'd pushed it through the flesh of one of my fingers. Happened so fast it didn't even hurt, but nevertheless got me the rest of the day off school (primary, before anyone questions my common sense).

Stepped off ladder thinking I was on bottom rung when I was on the second bottom one . 2 weeks in hospital , month in a wheelchair and crutches for 8 months. Drs didn’t think I’d walk again initially.

Broke my hand pushing myself out of my office chair in work.

Broke my toe stepping back down off of my sons bunk bed when changing the sheets.

Dropped the blade attachment from my mixer/blender. Automatically shot my other hand out to catch it. Lots of blood.

I also sliced my hand almost in half on Xmas day .. showing my son how good my new knife was
Refused to go to AE on Xmas day so spent all day wrapped in really tight bandages , oozing through and dripping blood everywhere
It did eventually stop about 6 hrs later

My friend broke her ankle due to wide leg trousers.
She was crossing the road on a windy day and they wrapped around her legs and tripped her up.

Ties my shoelaces too tight on a hot day playing golf. Searing tendinitis pain in my foot the next day, couldn’t really walk for two weeks.

Stepped off a path onto grass, rolled my ankle and fractured my foot. 6 weeks non weight bearing

I blistered my lip on a really hot piece of pak choi, which is not only stupid but horrifically middle-class of me

One of my first jobs was at a perfume counter in a fancy department store in London. We had to wear uniforms with long tight skirts. I never wear skirts normally so not used to it at all.

I had to go into the store room to get something on a shelf that I couldn't reach so climbed up on a chair, got whatever I was getting and then forgetting I had this tight skirt on and stepped down. Fell really hard on the floor and broke my wrist.

This is a few years ago but i was taking the plastic wrapping off a frozen pizza
For the kids tea one night and piece of frozen cheese bounced off the wrapping straight into my eye scratching it ouch!

Slipped whilst dancing over-
enthusiastically to Gangnam Style, I knew I’d done damage as it was agony straight away but it was on a dance floor at a wedding so got up, laughed it off and did the Macarena. Was in absolute agony and swollen, still told no one other than my husband that it was a bit sore and I drove an hour home the next day. Only once near home did I admit how bad it was and went for a x- ray. It was broken and I spent 10 weeks in a cast!

The list is endless. The ones that come to mind first are: a sprained ankle after getting my toe stuck in the turn up of my trouser leg and falling over.

• having to go to hospital to have my eyes rinsed after dropping a bottle of fabric softener on the floor and it splashing back up in my eyes (i didn't do the lid up properly, and picked it up by the lid)
• I have scars after scalding my stomach with boiling pasta water which I was attempting to pour down the sink. This happened twice.

Closing a window- I didn't have to climb up on anything, just the simple act of stretching up and closing. I ended up having to wear a neck support for a month, did something to the nerves...

Broke my toe joining in at soft play.
tbf it was a really good slide

I got trench foot in first year of university- not exactly an injury but definitely something I get made fun of for to this day. Stupid shoes at a rainy, muddy festival, while too drunk to take care of myself.

Best friend from uni still calls me trench, trenchy.

I was making homemade doughnuts, they were in the hot oil and I couldn't get one to flip over with the tongs I was using so decided to use my other hand to help keep the mischievous doughnut steady and promptly put my fingers into the hot oil.

I am so glad to see I am not the only wombat who self injures themselves doing simple tasks.

I’m so sorry Mari, but visualising this made me laugh way more than I should.

I stabbed myself with a shard of bovril. It had hardened around the lid/rim of the jar, and as I tried to force it open it went into my finger.

Was at least 35 years ago, I'm a bit more savvy now lol,went to change a drill bit,put old fashioned chuck key into chuck.....hadn't unplugged said drill,pulled trigger by mistake,chuck key hurtled round at at least 100mph and broke my finger. DOH!

Used a child’s plastic step stool to climb onto the worktop to get something from on top of the cupboard.
Decided to jump down onto the stool because I’m an idiot.
Went straight through it and sliced my foot open in several places with the broken shards of plastic. Couldn’t walk on that foot for a week!

I managed to knock a 4 pack of beans off the counter onto my foot. The beans were in front of the cat food and rather than move the beans i just reached behind them to get the cat food and caught them with my handed knocking them off the counter and they landed on my foot. I yelped and my husband came in to see what was the matter. After checking it wasn't broken he laughed and told me pain is natures way of telling you you've been silly.

At my wedding that following Saturday everyone wanted to see my bruised foot.

A few years ago on here, someone posted how they'd broken their toe with a Kegel weight. They'd got overconfident and gone for one that was too heavy - it shot out and hit their foot.