Most stupid ways you’ve injured yourself?

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So I had toothache in one tooth. Thinking it was grinding I got a home tooth guard. Completly messed up the moulding process somehow but continued to push it up in to my teeth an bite down thinking it would work. Didn’t work for did process again.. same thing. Basically bit down into hard plastic! Now I’ve hurt my front teeth along with others hope they are just bruised but at this point I think it may be worse a need to see a dentist! Oh and the other tooth still hurts! Don’t know why I continued to do that or what the hell I was thinking but yes so so so stupid! The please tell me the most stupid things you’ve done to make me feel slightly better?

I was vacuuming the stairs and carrying the vacuum to the top. When I got to the top I realised I wasn’t on the highest setting so thought I would do it again on the way down. I pulled a bit too hard on the vacuum and it fell over the top step as I was bending down and gave me a black eye.

I cut my labia minora with a pair of kitchen scissors while hacking at my over grown bush, left it looking all tatty and scrappy like a tom cat's ear.

When I was 16 I severed the nerve in my thumb opening a can of baked beans. Had to have surgery to stitch it back together.

@glendabrownlow I've cringed at a few of these posts, laughed at others, but yours? I nearly threw up 🤢

I almost did that with a corned beef tin, huge chunk of thumb hanging off, needed stitches.
It's barely visible now but hurts when it's cold.

I was at the cinema and had to go to the toilet during the movie. I didn’t want to miss too much so I went quickly but forgot about the two steps at the end of the row. Next thing I knew I was on my back on the floor with my head pointing towards the screen.

I got up and hobbled off to the toilet, I then went back to watch the end of the movie and sat in tears from the pain.

I was meant to walk home but had to phone my dad to give me a lift instead. I just bandaged myself up at home and went by the RICE method so didn’t go get checked out (I’m very accident-prone so I’m used to patching myself up tbf). It was only afterwards I realised I had probably broken something in my foot rather than the twisted ankle I thought it was. I still get pain in a certain part of my foot in bad weather.

And the worst thing was, it wasn’t even a good movie. It was Thor: Love and Thunder. 🙈

I am VERY good at falling. Most of the time it is because I am easily distracted, rushing around too much, not paying attention.

• fell over and broke my elbow distracted by a shit tip garden
• fell getting onto a train because I saw a nice dog
• fell into a metal cabinet thing at Boots, avoiding a woman who I thought was going to smack into my broken elbow and broke my big toe
• fell on a wet marble pavement in Italy and broke my wrist, I was distracted by someone's nice bag
• fell down one set of steps at my parents' house because I was looking at a hoopoe. Tore hamstring.
• fell down the other set of steps at my parents' house due to wide leg silky trousers. Attempted to miss concrete path, did a comical twist, took out three plant pots and their plants and bashed my face into the dirt.
• fell in my brother's garden trying to save a bottle of wine. Skinned knees, bruised legs, wine safe.
• fell up the steps carrying a Christmas tree into my house, tore my meniscus.
• slipped on water on my kitchen floor, fell backwards hitting my head on the quartz worktop, had concussion and headaches for several weeks.

I'm pretty sure I will one day be killed in a slipper incident.

And the worrying thing... only one of these incidents involved alcohol (the saved wine).

On a day when many things had already gone wrong, I had to book up our trailer tent to the car, as we were selling it, and take it to the place I was meeting the buyer so we could put it up for viewing. I was running a bit late, got the trailer hooked on the towbar, but then wasn't sure if it had engaged properly.
Started getting annoyed with it, and decided to lift the trailer off the car towbar and try again. In my rage, I was tugging and pulling, the damned thing wouldn't lift off, then all of a sudden there was an audible crack, massive pain in my back, and I fell to the floor.
I'd crushed a vertebrae, from actually trying to lift the whole car, because the towball had, in fact, engaged correctly.
The worst thing was I got up, carried on, got the tent sold (made them put it up though) and only that evening went to A&E 🙄
It's healed now, although I still have back problems from a different problem

Years ago my friend gave herself carpet burns on her knees whilst having fun with her boyfriend. In their rush she hadn't pulled her tights down enough and the mesh of them got embedded into her knees. She had to cut the tights off around her knees and the little circles got dried into the scabs. It took a few baths to soak them off!

I'm so sorry but this has made me really laugh! Kind of thing that happens to me 😂

I broke my collarbone on left side trying to mount my pony as a child by going straight over the top of him , I’m left handed and couldn’t write for 6 weeks

i stuck a garden fork through my toe - with some force as I had chunky shoes on and it went through and into the ground .

Badly burnt my hand and arm reaching into a hot oven without an oven glove . Also burnt my foot badly getting a tray of sausage rolls out the oven in bare feet and dripping hot oil on my foot .

sliced the nerves in my fingertip on left hand with a pair of scissors ( using scissors only thing I do right handed as no left handed scissors in the 70s) so again couldn’t write or use hand properly for weeks .
Badly tore ligaments in my ankle by treading on a tennis ball .

im sure theres many more , I'm very clumsy .

Leaving for a long awaited/saved up for dream cruise I managed to trip over thin air in the car park BEFORE we even got on the damn ship! Badly bruised leg and scratched brand new Ray Bans - could have been worse but.....!

ermm...thanks? 😂

I dreamed that I’d been stung by a giant bee and in doing so trapped a nerve in my neck, obviously as I’d woken up I needed a wee so I had to get out of bed and I couldn’t even hold my head up. The pain was so intense I actually fainted from the pain and dh woke up with the sound of me whimpering on the landing. I have never experienced black out pain before, I never believed it was a thing.

I did that when pregnant. I blame the baby.

Tripped over running, landed on my face and broke my jaw … had to drink through a straw for a while. Also slammed my thumb in a car door, nail instantly ripped off 😬

Saw a spider on ceiling when I went to bed, climbed on bedside cabinet to hit it with a magazine, fell off and landed on nose and knees, both bleeding.

Cut finger with knife trying to separate frozen sausage meat, needed 3 stitches.

Lol sorry I had to rush off to be sick before I could add I'm really sorry that happened to you (and even more sorry you shared the story 🙈😂🤢)

I bent down to get something out of the cupboard under the stairs sneezed at the same time. Resulting in slipping a disk in my back. I had to have physio 3 times a week. It took 16 weeks to fully recover.

Until you mentioned minibus I thought you were my DM so you aren’t alone in that one

Got my fingers caught in the back of a (Temu) sock and couldn't prise it over my heel whilst attempting to remove it. Suddenly felt intense pain and a "fizzy" sensation all down the length of my hand/arm and unable to straighten 2 fingers. Had to go rather embarrassingly to A&E for x-rays. I'd given myself nerve, soft tissue and tendon damage causing "mallet fingers" which needed splinting for 3 months. I'd have been better off breaking them!

Consumed wine,dropped a glass bottle on the floor then knelt down on the broken glass to sweep it up 😒had to go to a&e for stitches in my knee.

I was removing floor tiles in my bathroom one hot summer day, whilst wearing shorts. After I'd prised each tile up, I'd shuffle over to the best place to attack the next one. I shuffled towards the last tile too quickly and got a huge splinter in my buttock. It became infected because I lived on my own and had no one to inspect/remove from buttock. Trip to practice nurse at GP and course of antibiotics.

Walking over large boulders at the beach really carefully due to previous falls. Turned round to go back and I was on the ground face first. DH and DS thought it was hilarious. 2 weeks off work with concussion.

Flint knapping at an event didn't realise I'd sliced into my hand until the blood started flowing and wouldn't stop. Didn't feel a thing, it was so sharp.

Yesterday stepped down off a small stepstool in the kitchen, trod on the cat's bowl that should not have been there and fell backwards hitting my shoulderblade into the edge of the tumble dryer. Ow ow ow.