Most stupid ways you’ve injured yourself?

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So I had toothache in one tooth. Thinking it was grinding I got a home tooth guard. Completly messed up the moulding process somehow but continued to push it up in to my teeth an bite down thinking it would work. Didn’t work for did process again.. same thing. Basically bit down into hard plastic! Now I’ve hurt my front teeth along with others hope they are just bruised but at this point I think it may be worse a need to see a dentist! Oh and the other tooth still hurts! Don’t know why I continued to do that or what the hell I was thinking but yes so so so stupid! The please tell me the most stupid things you’ve done to make me feel slightly better?

I've a few.

Heel caught the hem of my trousers while carrying a tray of coffee at work, went down like a sack of spuds, didn't spill all the coffee, but got carpet burns (through my trousers) on both knees. That was an interesting injury to explain to DP when I got home.

Tore a thumbnail half off doing the Macarena.

Tore my calf muscle jumping up and down with excitement at an email confirming I was getting backstage passes for Download Festival. That was weird, it felt like someone threw a cricket ball at my calf, my leg was every shade of bruise from the top of my calf down to my foot. I couldn't put weight on the whole foot for two weeks.

Slipped a disk getting out my car. That was horrific.

Bent over to pick up a pack of kitchen rolls, tore my back muscles and couldn't move for a week.

Nearly took off the top of a finger slicing apples for my horses, then knocked the heavily bandaged finger at work a couple of days later and nearly passed out with pain.

Got run over by a yearling horse, she got a fright and galloped straight over me. I finally went to the doctor 6 weeks later to be told I should have gone straight to a&e after the accident. That is, when the doctor finally stopped laughing at me!

Basically I'm probably not safe to be allowed out unsupervised and definitely not allowed near sharp objects 🤣

I shut my hand in a door at work last night, even as I did it I was aware I was making a grotesque face for the CCTV 😱

Urgh, this is my speciality.

• tripped over my own flares while walking to the kitchen barefoot and broke a toe
• threw a blanket on a horse from the wrong side. A metal strap clasp smacked me in the face. Looked like I'd been punched for weeks as the bruise under my eye went from purple to green to yellow
• got my head trapped in a Tube door as I thought saw a friend and stuck it out as the doors were closing. Got told off by the driver over the tannoy - the shame.
• slipped on a dead mouse left by my cat and tore a muscle in my quad

I have nearly ripped all three of my earrings out of my ear by slamming the car boot shut and somehow getting my ear in the way. I have done this more than once.

I'm so sorry I really laughed at this, I love a bit of slapstick 🤣

I decided to iron the front of my blouse whilst wearing it, I burnt myself and it hurt 🙄😁

I accidentally cheese-grated the tips of my fingers. Still have scars, about 4 years on 🤣

I once sat down (naked) on a hot curling tongs and gave myself third degree burns. Thought I'd learned my lesson but then this week managed to step right into my hair straighteners and burn both sides of my heel.

My parrot landed on my head and peered down into my face. Ahh, how cute until he bit me right between my eyebrows

Oh and another one - about 12 years ago I was at my mums house, she had a floor lamp that came to about torso height, made of wooden twigs that fanned out at the top. I bent over next to it to plug in a phone charger. I misjudged the angle and one of the twigs went directly into my eye. It hurt so badly it made my ears ring. Cue a trip to A&E, then the eye hospital. It was only bruising but I couldn’t see out of it properly for almost a week!

Knocked myself out with a stepladder

I cut my finger on a chewing gum rack in a shop inside the hospital I used to work at.......Trouble was, I did not feel it so I was not aware of the injury and quite happily walked all the way up the stairs followed by a trail if blood leading up to the theatre suite where I worked.

The trail of blood was still there when I finished my shift and still did a full day after making a full recovery!.

A scrub nurse was attempting to control the bleeding with a pack of swabs and struggling! All this fun happened in theatre 6 of all places, where the surgeon, whilst leaning against the table kindly offered to amputate for me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.

He was joking, its their humour and they can't help it🤣.

My colleagues found it hilarious and I never lived that one down hahahah!!!!!

Yes I did fill in an accident form and the glass panel was removed from the chewing gum rack!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius
Aged about 7, I was helping my parents in the garden. I was digging with the big garden fork, and lifted it up as high as I could to thrust it into the ground as hard as I could - but managed to put it through my welly instead. Luckily the tines of the fork went between my toes rather than through my foot, so it was a graze, rather than a hole.
I did this too but didn't miss. The fork went right through my foot. I don't remember it hurting. Probably the shock. My mother cleaned it with some dettol, bandaged it and I remember having to wear a sock to bed.
No rush to the hospital or tetanus injection but I was fine afterwards.

How long have you got?

fell down 2 flights of stairs breaking my ankle and foot
punched myself in the face doing up a horses girth
got out of bed and broke my other ankle and foot
herniated a disc so badly I got cauda equina and needed emergency spinal surgery from doing absolutely nothing
grated my thumb to the bone while grating cheese
ignored a cough and went to hospital when it wouldn’t stop, wondered who they were running out with a nebuliser for… that would be me, with pneumonia

I swear the GP goes grey if I ever say “I don’t really know what I did but….”

I broke my ankle tripping over the wool I was knitting with. Surgery and 10 days in hospital.

my cat scratched my leg the following year. 2 weeks in hospital with sepsis, one of which I don’t remember as I was away with the fairies! Dh seriously thought I was dying (he’s a doctor). Amazingly I survived and over 10 years on I’ve never been that ill again!

Hot off the press…
I’ve just bruised and scraped my forehead bending over in the home office to turn the radiator down. I hadn’t put the light on and didn’t realise the chair had swizzled round and I’ve smacked my head on the top edge of the back.
FFS 🤦🏼‍♀️

Broke my toe falling off a wooden bath mat/duck board. I got out of the bath, stepped on the thing, it tipped sideways and my foot rolled inwards and went my sesamoid went crack Hospital doc , having checked I wasn't a victim of DV, said that eventually the swelling would go down and as I wasn't a professional sports woman there wasn't any need for treatment.

That was quite stupid and I've never had a duckboard since. Which makes it even more ridiculous that about 10 years later I once again injured myself because of a bathmat. It was one of those ones with a foam backing. The floor was quite wet and as I got out of the bath the mat aquaplaned with me on it, I fell sideways with such force against the loo that I broke the screw holding it to the floor and also cracked two ribs.

I just have one of those cotton twists one now.

Leaned forward a little to sone shoes away and dye my back in. 3 weeks later it’s not right
did the same when resealing the shower cubicle
Stuck a knife between 2 Dryden burgers years ago. I was holding them in the palm of my hand and stabbed myself pretty badly. Blood everywhere.

Also took a chunk out of ny front tooth ripping the thick cellophane of a multi pack of tuna

Wow, I bet cutting them was just as painful! You poor thing. I imagine you're a bit wary of making the bed now? It's good/lucky they grew back ok. 💕

Threw my back out lifting big Le Creuset type casserole dish out of the dishwasher. What a twat

My son broke his wrist moonwalking in a sleeping bag and falling over a table

My mum dropped a frozen chicken on her foot in the supermarket and broke her toes….

Fell chin first off the back of the treadmill. Still have a scar.

Years ago I stapled my finger to a wall with a staple gun when putting up a display. Had to have an ambulance crew extricate me. Was then taken to hospital to have it removed. All my colleagues came to gawk and there was me being wheeled out with a staple through my finger. I still cringe.