Go back to ex or face a life alone

[NatureandBee]

This is what my ex said to me earlier when discussing potentially getting back together.

He said either I come home or I sit alone in my house forever.

Also we’ve only recently been talking again and ex wanted things to accelerate, I told him that I’m not comfortable yet and can we slow things down especially as things were recently nasty between us. He said I’ve fucked everything up now and that he’s offering me everything back, he’s doing all the work and that now I need to prove to him that I want to come back.

What are everyone’s thoughts??

Sounds fantastic to me, i mean there's always the option of going to meet-ups, joining a gym, heck even a local stitch and bitch group or book club or - wow the list of things that you can do when not being with a bloke is endless really.

He's a bully who is expressing his own insecurities and reflecting them on to you. He's an ex for a good reason. Stay away. Peace and a couple of cats would be infinitely preferable. The reality is that you will have cats and future decent people in your life. Good luck OP x

I’ve voted for your being unreasonable for even considering his ultimatum and returning.

“He said either I come home or I sit alone in my house forever. Also we’ve only recently been talking again and ex wanted things to accelerate, I told him that I’m not comfortable yet and can we slow things down especially as things were recently nasty between us. He said I’ve fucked everything up now and that he’s offering me everything back, he’s doing all the work and that now I need to prove to him that I want to come back.”

From reading this above I can honestly say there are so many red flags for an abusive relationship without you giving me any more details.

Put all your time and energy into creating a life of peace and happiness without him in it. I would personally prefer a life like that than having a miserable life but having company.

I speak as someone that has experience all the above x

A life alone is bliss.
No one has expectations
No one complains
If I leave things clean and tidy they stay that way
If there is a mess, it's my mess - no one else has messed up my place.
AND your description of his behaviour 100% confirms my belief.

If you don't want to be alone however; find someone else, not this sad loser who thinks threatening you with a blissful life without him is a bad thing

Well, OP, you might meet someone else one day.
But, more importantly, what's wrong with being alone? You'll still have a good life - and certainly a much better one than if you stayed with thus man.

A lifetime away from this prick sounds like a plan! Remember he’s an ex for a reason!

Alone! 100%! Don’t know why you’re even hesitating !

As Robin Williams said, he used to think the worst thing was to be alone, then he realised it was to be in a relationship that makes you feel alone.

If that’s him being loving I wouldn’t like to see him hating!!!

why are you considering getting back with this controlling and manipulative man @NatureandBee ?

You know those aren’t the only two choices right?! He’s an absolute arse hole. Choose yourself. Not him.

You say ‘face a life alone’ as if it was a bad thing.

and you can go for a nap whenever you want

I live alone with two cats
it’s a wonderful life! 😀😀

He’s trying to scare you into going back. Run away

There's worse things than being alone. Being with him sounds like one of them.

You have a lifetime of options. And if you ever want to, you'll be able to partner up with someone much nicer than this nasty prick. 💐

Firstly, replace the word "face" with the word "enjoy" in your thread title.

Secondly, re "He said either I come home or I sit alone in my house forever", who the fuck made him the Oracle of Delphi? Just because this wanker said it doesn't make it true.

And thirdly, cats!! Now you're talking. Far better live with some lovely cats than a horrible man.

Exactly! Plus he’s being mean and manipulative, no thanks…

If you go back OP ,he be worse then he was in the past as he knows you have no boundaries and that’s the reason you don’t go back …

So he's nasty, manipulative and controlling? Even if being alone were the only other option (it isn't BTW), it is a lot more appealing than being with someone like that.

I would recommend staying single for a bit and working on self esteem and boundaries. You've already done the hard bit as he's an ex, move on. If he keeps pushing, report him to the Police for harassment.

Classic projection.

He can't face being alone in his future. He is offering you the chance to prove that you are worth having back, because he knows that he isnt worth having back and can't prove that he is.

You left because you shone a light on the real him and he is trying to maze you into thinking that you made a massive mistake because he knows that his behaviour is what led to this.

Shorthand.....he is fucking terrified and knows that literally the only chance of ever having a woman in his life again is if he can convince you that its him or nothing.

I chose nothing when I was in a similar situation. I have THRIVED and you will to. My ex? Not so much!

If you are nothing without a man, you’re nothing with a man. Don’t waste your life on a poor relationship. Look at how you can improve whatever you feel you need (social connection?). Someone who is using your insecurities against you is not a good partner (or friend).

Another vote for cats, they are easy peasy - as long as you supply some cat food twice a day and become their willing slave ready and willing to play the in / out game.

Run!