AIBU to think DS and SIL shouldn’t be commenting on DS’s bottle?

[AmpleFish]

title should say DB rather than DS!

DS (just turned 4) has always taken a bottle of milk to bed and had one in the morning when he wakes. We brush his teeth afterwards and his dentist hasn’t mentioned it so assuming all is fine.
This weekend my brother came down to visit from Scotland. He and SIL made repeated comments to me and DH about how DS was too old to be having a bottle.
AIBU to think he should stay in his lane? Particularly when he and SIL have a 2.5 and 3.5 year old and neither are potty trained! I think they need to take some of their own medicine before commenting on others!

Does that apply to all the 1, 2, 3 and 4 year olds still comfort feeding from the breast?

But isn’t this why we have so many shit parents, and children who can’t behave, can’t interact with others, won’t eat anything other than junk food, turn up to school in nappies and are on TikTok by age 6. All of this “you do you” rubbish means that no one comments on very very poor parenting choices which, in the past, would have been pointed out pretty quickly.

I’m not saying people should be needlessly rude but if others don’t say anything ever then how will people who are a bit clueless realise they aren’t doing the best job?

Ignore! I let all my DCs have bottles at bedtimes until they wanted to give them up they were well into primary school. They then moved from bottles to having warm milk and hot chocolate at the table before bed until they didn’t feel like it. We first put the warm milk in normal bottles so it felt similar then cups.

Sod what anyone else thinks.

I can't imagine anyone not commenting. He's far to old.

Just want to add that another easy phrase to remember is "Thanks for your advice, I'll take that on board." If they continue after that, just repeat, "I'll take that on board," until they stop.

I didn't and still don't mind hearing another opinion on most things I do because it can always improve my life. It's more the way that it's said.

We all do things differently, children are different and we have the choice to, so I agree OP they should not be interfering

Both mine loved milk in a bottle, we had to get the bottle fairy to come and leave a small gift in return for the bottles! My eldest had a meltdown that night so she said she’d like one more night, then that was it, gone! DS was easier than my eldest … it was like cold turkey for her 😵

I mean, it's not their business, but I find it very odd when people treat children like small babies when they're four or five years old. I get that a lot of people hate the idea of their kids growing up and would love them to be babies for ever, but I don't think it's great for their general development to be encouraged to behave like much younger children.

No, it's prolonged use of bottles and dummies that increases the risk of misaligned teeth, abnormal bite development, and jaw growth changes. I know a 6 year old affected by this (in her case due to dummy use until age 4).

They're a year late on potty training, I'm assuming ita something to do with having 2 so close together- they can just do both at the same time now.

But you're 3 years late on the bottle. They're for babies. Toddlers with bottles look so cringe, an actual 4yo child with one sounds gross.

They shouldn't comment while in your house.
All of mine took bottles at that age and just naturally stopped taking them.
I think it was a comfort thing.
No problem with teeth and they are late teenagers now

My DS had a bottle at night for comfort until around 4 and ended up having a filling when he was 5. I don’t know if the milk caused it, by my eldest was weaned much earlier and didn’t have any cavities.

I’d just stop the milk and not take the risk personally.

one is as bad as the other, not potty trained at 2.5 and 3.5 is a disgrace and they should hang their heads in shame, and a bottle at 4 is an absolute joke. why on earth do some people want to hold their children’s development and age back? if people want eternal babies they should buy dollies.

I wouldn’t say 2.5 not being potty trained is a disgrace at all.

Sorry my bad…brother 🤦‍♀️

@AmpleFish come on, he’s too old for a bottle. He isn’t a baby anymore. Some dc were 4 at the end of August and are currently in school already. Yours isn’t much younger.

Your 3.5 niece or nephew should be potty trained by now too.

The 2.5 yo should be almost complete with potty training.

You’re all letting your kids down tbh.

My cousin used a dummy until she was 9! She had horrendous buck teeth from this which took 5 years of wearing braces to correct.

@AmpleFish My DS1 needed a pacifier until he was 7 years old so I'm not judging. I had decided against my children using them before they were born but we can't plan how our children are and their needs (diagnosed autistic at 4). As long as you're brushing his teeth afterwards it's not the end of the world.

I wouldn't recommend a sip cup.

My mother blamed my buck teeth on the fact that she gave me a "sip cup" for my orange juice. That was first thing in the morning in the early '60s.

We lived in a one-bedroom flat and I was given the orange juice while I was sitting up in bed, before getting up and having my breakfast. I'm guessing that it was a way of keeping from getting under her feet first thing.

The practice stopped when my milk teeth came in looking worse than Ken Dodd's and the dentist assumed that I was a thumb sucker. I wasn't.

I'd have been happy enough to use an ordinary cup, but Mum figured it saved me from spilling and making a mess...I've no idea whether that's what did the damage or not, but I needed a brace when my adult teeth started to come through.

I came across a photograph of me with my milk teeth recently. I used to think "Oh, they couldn't have been that bad..." Oh yes, they were.

Maybe they'd have been problematic in any case. I'm just sharing in case it's relevant.

Far too old for a bottle and it is very bad for his teeth.

It's totally fine, he's not going to get "bottle mouth" from a few minutes bottle use each day, FFS.

Tell your relatives to come back when their kids are toilet trained!

Why are you still babying him. He’s 4 he doesn’t need a bottle. Let your child grow up.

And wearing braces can hurt, a lot. It's been close to thirty years and I still remember the horrible pain from when I needed to get spacers put in.

Lazy parenting all round

Really these 2 DC are no longer babies but being treated as babies.