To take myself off for lunch on my own today?

[ThereIsSomethingWrongWithTheLeftFilange]

Its my Birthday, been up with DH for hours, had breakfast together, walked the dogs and he hasn't even said 'Happy Birthday'

Have two adult DD's, both that live a couple of hours away, neither of them have messaged me to say 'Happy Birthday' either. Both will be up and at work by now too.

Just makes me feel pretty shit as I always make sure its the first thing I do, or say, or message to my family when its theirs. I always make sure I make a bit of a fuss of them.

For no-one to even acknowledge by Birthday by 10.30am has just made me feel proper rubbish.

I am a good mum, and a good wife.

Shall I go out for lunch by myself or am I just being a bit of a baby and need to suck it up?

Its just another Birthday after all.

🤣🤣. This response was so deserved.

Happy birthday @ThereIsSomethingWrongWithTheLeftFilange enjoy the champagne and you’re right to be disappointed in your children not as much as sending a message via text or Watsapp. It takes a few seconds to type happy birthday mum.

Why hasn't your DH reminded your kids now he knows? Isn't that part of a partner's job? I'd be expecting a flurry of 'coincidental' texts.

Oh OP, it's my birthday too and I'm sending you all the love and birthday wishes!

I'm so glad your DH redeemed himself and had already put in the work to make your day a lovely one, even it was forgotten and he needed the postman as a reminder. And yes, your kids are pretty shitty not to have been in touch to wish you a happy birthday - I can only think that they're head down at work and will call you later to chat properly, which I suspect I've been guilty of before without giving it a second thought. If it was me, I'd be reminding them to get in touch, I'm surprised your DH hasn't kicked them up the bum.

I do feel your pain as I posted on here yesterday about feeling low because no-one has bothered to plan anything for my birthday. I know some like to ask people to celebrate it with them, but for me, it feels awkward and so, as a result, there are no plans and it feels a bit shit.

I'll raise you a glass of something lovely when I get home, and I hope your day improves x

Where have I said I was fuming? 😂

I don't think its difficult to remember your own Mother's Birthday and drop a text to say Happy Birthday Mum.

If the shoe was on the other foot and I didn't message my DD's I can imagine they would be feeling all kinds of hurt thinking their own Mum had forgotten them on their special day.

I am allowed to feel a little hurt that neither has sent me a card or even text me to say Happy Birthday. When I make such an effort for them.

Or does Mum just not matter?

I am hoping this is the case and I get phone calls or Facetime calls later today.

This 👆wins the prize for Dickhead Post of the day.

Happy Birthday OP 🎉🥳🎂🎁🎈

He is on call tonight so, while we can eat at home we can't really go out. Saturday works better as we are both off.

Book yourself into a hotel. When they finally notice you're gone later on, say it was your birthday treat for yourself. Enjoy the night, enjoy a leisurely breakfast in the morning.

@Missxxx

shes so unimportant she doesn’t deserve a happy birthday text from her offspring?! wtf?! Are you actually ok?!

Happy Birthday, OP.

I'm a bit torn on this one - I have the benefit of coming to the thread late and hence knowing how it's worked out with your husband. It's really great news that on no level did he actually forget about your birthday, except for today.

The problem is that I think that two things - the way you clearly prioritise birthdays from first thing in the morning on the day and the fact your husband forgot on the day - are likely colouring the way you feel about your daughters. I think by far the most important thing here is that your husband should've remembered. And it's very unfortunate that he forgot today. I do have a bit of sympathy for how he must've felt when the postie arrived! and at least he's doing what I think most of us would consider the best effort at making it up to you, now (and it's clear he'd remembered and done stuff in advance). But with your adult daughters, I don't think you should judge them quite so harshly. See what happens later. How busy are their jobs and what are their routines? I have never come close to forgetting the birthday of somebody that close to me, quite the opposite. However loads of times recently I've gone to bed thinking, must text X a happy birthday in the morning... and then in reality forgotten about it/ not had chance to do it until later in the day. Yes, my life really is that silly at the moment.

I would be upset if my husband did what yours did today, and I'd be upset if my mum actually forgot my birthday, but I don't think I'd be upset if she only texted me/ called me later in the day.

So I wonder if really you've felt worse about your daughters because of the total lack of acknowledgement from your husband for half a day making you stew (entirely understandably!) about not being valued enough. Whereas if your husband had brought you tea in bed, handed over your presents, generally made a fuss and told you about dinner tomorrow, THEN you'd received cards and flowers from others and then later gotten calls from the DDs... maybe you wouldn't have thought anything of the DDs calling you later.

So - try and keep an open mind. I'm not sure it's entirely reasonable to expect a text as soon as your daughter's wake up and whilst everyone's circumstances are different, I'm not sure it'd be commonplace for many to visit a parent on the way to work to wish them HB, as you say you did with your mum. Lovely thing to do, but also quite a high bar to set. I'd be inclined to think about this more in the context of your relationship with them overall. Are they often thoughtless to you? Because is not, I think this isn't a very big deal. If they are, then perhaps a re-set is required.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your day, and dinner on Saturday.

@ThereIsSomethingWrongWithTheLeftFilange
Don't wait any longer Filange! Send them this.

"Darling DDs, please could you both put the following date in your phone reminders?

• Saturday 16 October 2027

I will officially be xx years old on that day. Love you lots girls 😂xxx"

I'd be upset at my daughter's. I bet they both use smart phones. Mine has just reminded me my DH is out tomorrow as it's in my calendar. It takes less than a minute to send a quick text.

I'm late to this, but I hope you had a lovely lunch and throughly spoilt yourself @ThereIsSomethingWrongWithTheLeftFilange - personally I'd be fuming with the lot of them, I currently am on your behalf.😡

If they still haven't acknowledged your birthday this evening, I'd be making plans with friends this weekend and booking myself a treat like a facial or massage.

Also, I wouldn't tell my young adult children that I was "abit hurt", I'd be telling them that I've got the grumps that they've forgotten my birthday - keep it lighthearted but make it clear that you're not impressed with their behavior.

Edit: Just saw that your DH has redeemed himself :-).

Sounds perfect, lunch with no interruptions. Delight in it and let them grovel later !

I'd be inclined to think about this more in the context of your relationship with them overall. Are they often thoughtless to you? Because is not, I think this isn't a very big deal. If they are, then perhaps a re-set is required.

@OldForANewMum Good advice.

I am getting very close to doing this, or something like this.

We have a WhatsApp, just the three of us, so I will be messaging it soon with something light hearted like this if neither of them has messaged shortly.

They have both finished work now and still nothing from either of them.

Why haven't you reminded them? I would.

Their special day 😂

I think you are right. A lighthearted message about the fact that both appear to have forgotten their Mother will be in order if I haven't heard anything shortly.

Are you feeling alright? What's the joke?

If you're going to send it, send it now and put yourself out of your misery dear Filange.
The longer you leave it, the bigger the crime and I don't think any of you really want that x

Happy Birthday for Sunday xx

Your children have until the end of the day to acknowledge your birthday. Expecting a morning call is ridiculous.

Your husband is the only person who messed up here.

@DuckbilledSplatterPuff's message is perfect @ThereIsSomethingWrongWithTheLeftFilange, the right combination of humor, but also letting them know that you were expecting a birthday acknowledgment.

It frustrates me when I read threads where parents seem almost afraid to ask anything of their adult children, even a quick text.

As you say, we (I'm middle-aged) would always acknowledge our Mum's birthdays, it's not a big ask.

You’ve spent your entire day moaning about this on here. I sympathised with the first post, but seriously. Just weird. Maybe your daughters have both got things going on or they’ve both forgotten. Is this the first time?