To take myself off for lunch on my own today?

[ThereIsSomethingWrongWithTheLeftFilange]

Its my Birthday, been up with DH for hours, had breakfast together, walked the dogs and he hasn't even said 'Happy Birthday'

Have two adult DD's, both that live a couple of hours away, neither of them have messaged me to say 'Happy Birthday' either. Both will be up and at work by now too.

Just makes me feel pretty shit as I always make sure its the first thing I do, or say, or message to my family when its theirs. I always make sure I make a bit of a fuss of them.

For no-one to even acknowledge by Birthday by 10.30am has just made me feel proper rubbish.

I am a good mum, and a good wife.

Shall I go out for lunch by myself or am I just being a bit of a baby and need to suck it up?

Its just another Birthday after all.

It’s not her job to remind anyone. And it wouldn’t count if she did. It’d be like saying, “Tell me you love me.” If you have to ask, it’s not genuine.

Fuck off to a spa for the weekend.
Selfish shits
Happy birthday x

Her family must recognize that birthdays are important to her by the way she acknowledges theirs. It doesn’t matter if their birthdays are important to them or not. This is about honoring HER feelings.

Life gets in the way of wishing your own Mum a Happy Birthday? How depressing does that sound.

That’s the sum total of how long it may have taken to write the posts. However, 17 is a lot spread out over one day, it was therefore clearly on her mind and bothering her all day long to come back and keep posting. It’s not hard to understand, is it?

Exactly this!

My husband has forgotten my birthday a few times. My children never have. And honestly, he forgot our anniversary 3 years in a row. I would go to hell before I would ever remind him. To be fair, for the last six years he’s written them down. And also, to show who he is, he did not get me a gift or even a card on on our 40th anniversary. For our 41st, I said that all I wanted was a card, or just a sweet note. Nothing. He remembered, but that’s all. Wanker.

You’d struggle with my DM then, I’m lucky if she remembers to message me before the evening on my birthdays! And I have to admit sometimes with the busyness of getting the kids up and to school and then getting to work I often don’t remember birthdays til later in the day. I hope you’ve now heard from your DDs and happy birthday. I’m not sure why you didn’t just say to your DH, are you going to wish me happy birthday, rather than waiting and waiting for it to dawn on him!

I think I'm in the same family position as you are, married with grown kids. I think this is pretty common but it's not because Moms usually aren't considered important enough to bother about. It's because Moms are most often the ones who handle the reminders, the birthdays and other occasions for the larger family. Therefore, we're better at it and more experienced at that sort of thing than the rest of them are.

I'd consider how you feel about the way they treat you in general. Do you feel dismissed or beloved by the larger family? (and don't be surprised if the answer is that you're at the very center of the larger family, just in a more responsible way than the others).

If you DO feel neglected or dismissed in general, that is something to consider. But if you do not feel that, then this is a not a big issue, I don't think.

In the future, I suggest not waiting to see if anyone remembers. Being good at remembering special days is one way to show love but it's not the only way. And not being good at it does not mean people do not care about you.

So, I would give them a clue. Tell husband, happily, "happy birthday to me!" if he doesn't say it early in the day. Or ask him to send a "sneaky" text reminder about it to the kids. Or send them a text yourself, just to say "Daddy's taking me out to dinner tonight for my birthday. Yay!"

Anyway, nobody around here ever has a forgotten birthday because we're ALL too busy demanding birthday attention hahaha.

I also usually buy myself a nice present, too. Go ahead! What are you waiting for?!?!? :0)

I would be fuming but also can’t imagine it happening in our family
Birthdays are always made a big fuss of - and plans discussed in advance so no one has ever forgotten
DP is the most likely to forget so I set expectations out in advance and my DC will probably also remind him just in case
Hope you had a lovely day anyway

It’s 22:10, please give us an update as you near bedtime!

Happy birthday. Ask DH what he has got you for your birthday. It must be a nice surprise since he has said nothing about it. Then go and have a nice lunch.

Tbf, one year we were on holiday and had taken MIL and FIL. I knew it was DH’s birthday and had all his gifts hidden in the suitcases, but on the day even his own mother forgot until 3pm! Our only excuse was holiday mode and not knowing the date/day of the week as so going with the flow.

This is where I forget the perks of being single and what a luxury it is. Because I'm so used to doing what I want my reply is that I'd be going off and having lunch to myself even IF they had all wished my happy birthday.

I have the feeling this isn't new, that your husband has a history of being lax, which means you should have addressed this decades ago.

Of course you should go to lunch, preferably an elegant one where the food will delight you and the staff will pamper you.

Happy birthday 🎂

Personally I don't think its a big deal not to message first thing if they're not in your household. Your birthday is all day!

I have young children and work full time. Can't have my phone at work due to my job. Think last family birthday I was finally able to message at 10:30pm. Morning had been full on everyone out the house, then driving, then work, then rushing to pick up, Dinners, baths, bedtime that took 2 hours. I hadn't even had my own dinner.

Wasn't that I didn't care, I'd definitely thought about them throughout day hoping they were having fun, I was just absolutely swamped.

Well don't do it then, OP however (like myself) doesn't seem to have this world view 🤷‍♀️ it's lovely if people remember and share special occasions with you but if no-one does, you make your own good time in my world 🤘

Men never fail to disappoint.

Your kids deserve a roasting, but it shouldn't have to be you who does it. Their father should have taken this firmly in hand earlier today and given them a kick up the arse.