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To take myself off for lunch on my own today?

294 replies

ThereIsSomethingWrongWithTheLeftFilange · Yesterday 10:24

Its my Birthday, been up with DH for hours, had breakfast together, walked the dogs and he hasn't even said 'Happy Birthday'

Have two adult DD's, both that live a couple of hours away, neither of them have messaged me to say 'Happy Birthday' either. Both will be up and at work by now too.

Just makes me feel pretty shit as I always make sure its the first thing I do, or say, or message to my family when its theirs. I always make sure I make a bit of a fuss of them.

For no-one to even acknowledge by Birthday by 10.30am has just made me feel proper rubbish.

I am a good mum, and a good wife.

Shall I go out for lunch by myself or am I just being a bit of a baby and need to suck it up?

Its just another Birthday after all.

OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · Yesterday 10:26

Happy birthday from me, OP. Sorry nobody around you has said it yet.

What normally happens? Is this the first time everyone has seemingly forgotten?

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · Yesterday 10:27

And yes 💯 treat yourself to a nice lunch!

D3vonmaid · Yesterday 10:27

Take yourself out for a treat, and enjoy it. Your daughters may be busy with work until later, but your DH is being a bit shit to not even say happy birthday to you when you wake up.
I hope your day improves.

IPM · Yesterday 10:28

Happy birthday 💐

You can go to lunch on your own whenever you want, you don't need permission or justification.

I expect they've all forgotten and will hurriedly remember at some point.

It's a bit shit but it happens.

JHITRM77 · Yesterday 10:28

Absolutely you must take yourself off somewhere you really like for a lovely boozy long lunch, take a good book, maybe go for a massage or a bit of shopping after. Happy birthday, your family have been shit 💐💕 xx

Aviarythebird · Yesterday 10:30

You’re so not being a baby. I’d be really upset too. DH is normally good but did forget my birthday once. I complained a lot and he had to do a significant amount of reparations. Can you just ask him what he’s got planned for your special lunch?

Dweetfidilove · Yesterday 10:31

Happy birthday @ThereIsSomethingWrongWithTheLeftFilange 🎂🥳!

Take yourself out for a lovely lunch.

Scungled · Yesterday 10:32

Has your DH forgotten? Was it never mentioned recently? I’d usually be saying something like ‘Let’s hot to X for dinner on my birthday’ or something.

Happy birthday, OP! Of course treat yourself in any way that appeals!

SnowFrogJelly · Yesterday 10:32

Happy Birthday! Absolutely treat yourself to lunch.. why hasn’t your DH said Happy Birthday yet though?

Shedmistress · Yesterday 10:33

Yes absolutely.

Then when they ask you where you were you say 'I went out for a birthday lunch'

And they will say 'whose', and you will say 'Oh just mine, nobody special or worth bothering about'.

Then reconsider your relationships and start making room for yourself in them.

Happy Birthday OP.

TheFinalNotch · Yesterday 10:35

Bloody hell OP I've just bought my own birthday cake and candles for Sunday, which I will light alone, and blow out alone.

And then eat the whole thing alone over the week.

I though that was bad enough but your DH is giving a poor show here. I suspect you feel even lonlier than me!

ps Happy Birthday xxx

Mosaic80 · Yesterday 10:36

I’m sorry OP. A big happy birthday and have some cake 🎂.

Have they all actually forgotten or just being a bit shit? If they’re just being shit then yes take yourself off for lunch. If DH has actively forgotten, I’d be reminding him and if he’s mortified and scrabbles to make it up to you then you could magnanimously allow him to take you to lunch if you wish (or go by yourself anyway).

DreamyAmberKoala · Yesterday 10:38

Happy birthday, I would head for lunch maybe a spa treatment or something as well if I could get anything booked last minute.

Dweetfidilove · Yesterday 10:38

TheFinalNotch · Yesterday 10:35

Bloody hell OP I've just bought my own birthday cake and candles for Sunday, which I will light alone, and blow out alone.

And then eat the whole thing alone over the week.

I though that was bad enough but your DH is giving a poor show here. I suspect you feel even lonlier than me!

ps Happy Birthday xxx

Edited

Happy birthday on Sunday 🎂!

Gravygranules · Yesterday 10:40

Happy birthday OP! Yes, go and have a lovely lunch preferably with a glass of wine and/or a delicious treat.

Clarinet1 · Yesterday 10:40

Have another “Happy Birthday” from me OP!
Yes, definitely a nice lunch and a little retail therapy! I’m sorry the family seem to have forgotten your special day; When I hear the date of a family birthday (many of them sadly no longer with us) the first thing I think is “So and so’s birthday” so I don’t know how they could do this.

brownbootsandhats · Yesterday 10:41

Happy birthday

Worriednanof1 · Yesterday 10:42

Is there any chance they are pretending to have forgotten and there will be a surprise later?

gingercat02 · Yesterday 10:43

Happy birthday @ThereIsSomethingWrongWithTheLeftFilange
It astounds me that women still allow themselves to be treated like this. Is this a one off? If not have you raised it before?
Go for lunch, fuck them all!

Hayley1256 · Yesterday 10:43

I would take yourself out for a nice lunch, go shopping to treat yourself and then even stay out for dinner!

SnowFrogJelly · Yesterday 10:44

Tbh I would have reminded DP before the day!

mamaof4losingmymind · Yesterday 10:47

This is your family you are allowed to talk. A quick have you got something you would like to say to me would do it rather then getting upset over it.

Wishimaywishimight · Yesterday 10:47

I wouldn't have just ignored the elephant in the room. I would have stuck a candle in my weetabix and said "Happy birthday to me" to make the point!

It's awful they have all forgotten about your birthday - pure laziness and selfishness in their part.

I do always wonder a bit how the conversation doesn't arrive in the days/weeks before hand though. We would always have a bit of "anywhere in particular you fancy for your birthday dinner or will I book a surprise" conversation at some point.

Absolutely take yourself out for a fab lunch but do make some reference to your birthday this morning, it's just enforcing the notion that your birthday isn't worth mentioning if you go along with saying nothing.

flippertygibbet4 · Yesterday 10:48

Happy Birthday!!

I'd be absolutely FURIOUS if this happened to me. I make sure we all make a big fuss of each other's birthdays (I have a Dh plus teenage kids). It would never ever happen that they forgot mine! If I was you I'd tell my DH that it was my birthday and expect him to feel terrible and to make it up to me BIG TIME. I'm so sorry OP. And if you want to go out for a lovely lunch alone, do it!!

Abracadabra12345 · Yesterday 10:50

Scungled · Yesterday 10:32

Has your DH forgotten? Was it never mentioned recently? I’d usually be saying something like ‘Let’s hot to X for dinner on my birthday’ or something.

Happy birthday, OP! Of course treat yourself in any way that appeals!

I’ve had to train my family. My birthday is written in DH’s desk diary and I do ensure we’ve arranged something. My adult daughter is brilliant, my adult son much less so but he’s getting better

My birthday is very close to Christmas so was always getting squeezed out. I am therefore determined this doesn’t happen now!

OP - it’s not “just a birthday “. Its a celebration of you and how special you are, a chance to acknowledge that. I am really sorry it’s not so important to others and would feel as you did.

So go have a special day on your own and charge it to your “D”H’s account. And do no cooking in the evening!