To take myself off for lunch on my own today?

[ThereIsSomethingWrongWithTheLeftFilange]

Its my Birthday, been up with DH for hours, had breakfast together, walked the dogs and he hasn't even said 'Happy Birthday'

Have two adult DD's, both that live a couple of hours away, neither of them have messaged me to say 'Happy Birthday' either. Both will be up and at work by now too.

Just makes me feel pretty shit as I always make sure its the first thing I do, or say, or message to my family when its theirs. I always make sure I make a bit of a fuss of them.

For no-one to even acknowledge by Birthday by 10.30am has just made me feel proper rubbish.

I am a good mum, and a good wife.

Shall I go out for lunch by myself or am I just being a bit of a baby and need to suck it up?

Its just another Birthday after all.

Happy Birthday @ThereIsSomethingWrongWithTheLeftFilange
Glad your DH and friends remembered.

I had to do a bit of a song and a dance about this in the past. But it was worth it, better than feeling sad about it.

Do you have a family whatsapp? I think I'd post a birthday gif to myself on there.. Your DDs will see it and will soon be in contact.

I hope, to make up for your morning.. that you go out and treat yourself and buy a beautiful cake from somewhere posh to enjoy. You deserve it!

For someone not living in the same house as you, why would you be the thing they think of as soon as they wake up? Not everyone is actively considering what date it is every single day.
I am not at all close to my family, but I still remember their birthdays and message them on the day. I have all birthdays in my calendar, and I look at my calendar quite a lot, so things like that get repeated and reinforced in my mind. I find it hard to imagine NOT being aware of birthday dates.

Happy Birthday ! 🎂
Hope you also had a lovely day with your DD.. and your DH pulls his socks up later today.

Nonsense. I have never once forgotten or ignored my mums birthday in all these years. She's 86 and Im 65. It's a pig ignorant and couldn't care less attitude. If you love someone you dont just forget their birthday.

Make him squirm for a bit longer he bloody deserves it.

Thank you!

Happy birthday! Enjoy your lunch!

Yeah I guess, but its now 3.30pm and still neither of my kids has messaged me.

Oh he won't be allowed to forget it for a while. He has offered to make tea tonight too while I put my feet up, as well as taking me out tomorrow. Maybe he should forget to say Happy Birthday more often 😂

Why should Op need to remind her husband thats its her birthday? He should make sure he remembers .

It's not unreasonable to expect them to remember, OP, it was my dad's birthday last month and I knew I might forget to message him first thing in the morning (life is hectic with a toddler!) So I set a reminder in my phone for 8am, and another at 9am, just in case.
You feel loved when people make a choice to prioritise remembering your special day.

The only thing I would say, is just because your daughters haven't remembered, it doesn't mean they don't love you. They've been thoughtless, you are entitled to feel hurt by that and to explain that to them, but that doesn't affect the fact that they love you. I hope everyone sets a reminder for next year and this is the last time you have a rubbish start to your birthday.

Happy Birthday! I hope you'll be back to tell us that your DH and DC delivered their congratulations personally after work.

Whoops! Posted before I saw your updates. Fingers crossed your daughters turn up trumps!

Aw, I'm glad he remembered! Happy birthday!

@cantquiteknityet

Does it not?

My calender would remind me as soon as I'm up and Facebook also tells me

I agree. It does mean you don't care.

That's the point - caring involves some effort, the effort of keeping a date in your mind and the remembering to call / text on the day, and early that day too.

Our postal system has got pretty bad, and sometimes it can take a week or more for a card to reach someone (I like sending cards). I do find myself being late to post a card now, even though I'll have got it and written it but will forget to stamp and post it in time to get there.

But there's no excuse for not calling / texting on someone's birthday, especially your mum.

OP you need to clearly say that this hurt you, it's absolutely not ok.

This would never happen to me because I’d have mentioned it a million times the evening before and likely woken up and been like wooo it’s my birthday 😂😂

Thank you.

I am quite a forgetful person but I make it my business to make sure I message my family and friends on their Birthdays to say Happy Birthday. I put reminders in my phone and set alarms if I need to. Its so important for me to remember.

I have a friend I have not lived near for over 20 years, who was my best friend from back home. She was the first text I got this morning. We haven't seen each other in over a year but she still remembered my Birthday and messaged me.

Still nothing from my DD's and I absolutely will be telling them that I have felt a bit hurt to not have had a message. Even if they text later today I will make sure that I mention that it has hurt a bit that they haven't messaged earlier.

Completely agree. These people who are so keen on early messaging and sending cards for every life event are almost a bit aggressive with it - it really doesn't come across as so kind when you know they are judging what they get in return. My whole husband's family does it with cards and dyou know what? I'd rather not receive any of those cards on my birthday and do away with the entire faff for the rest of the year. But it's the aggressive birthday celebrators whose feelings are apparently the only valid ones. A wee text message at any time of day, including the evening when they're back from work, would do me just fine.

Happy Birthday OP

Did you tell your DH husband you've heard nothing from your children? Surely he would message them straight away to remind them?

Go! Frig me, I'd book a hotel that had a spa or a luxurious bath in it, let them know where you are and why you're there, turn my phone off and enjoy the peace.
Happy birthday OP. It was mine on Sunday xx

Your hubby sounds lovely. Don't let him off the hook for a while, milk it for a bit and maybe tease him about early onset dementia. Hope your day is improving and I hope you have many more of them.

There is always one isn't there 🙄

Actually I am that important 😝

You, however, are not

Go play on the motorway.