To take myself off for lunch on my own today?

[ThereIsSomethingWrongWithTheLeftFilange]

Its my Birthday, been up with DH for hours, had breakfast together, walked the dogs and he hasn't even said 'Happy Birthday'

Have two adult DD's, both that live a couple of hours away, neither of them have messaged me to say 'Happy Birthday' either. Both will be up and at work by now too.

Just makes me feel pretty shit as I always make sure its the first thing I do, or say, or message to my family when its theirs. I always make sure I make a bit of a fuss of them.

For no-one to even acknowledge by Birthday by 10.30am has just made me feel proper rubbish.

I am a good mum, and a good wife.

Shall I go out for lunch by myself or am I just being a bit of a baby and need to suck it up?

Its just another Birthday after all.

See this is what I think too.

When my own beautiful Mum was still alive I NEVER once forgot to call her first thing in the morning, or pop in on my way to work even, to say Happy Birthday.

I don't need cards or gifts, but just to know they have woken up, remembered its Mums Birthday and wanted to say Happy Birthday to me means a lot.

The fact that I don't appear to have crossed anyone's minds to just say Happy Birthday feels a bit shit.

I don't feel I should have to prompt them or remind them. I have never forgotten any of theirs or not said Happy Birthday as soon as I can in the mornings.

There’s absolutely no excuse for this. I am so sorry OP. Take yourself out and treat yourself to a nice lunch. Take a book, sit and read with a glass of wine. Potter round little shops, have a relaxing day.

So DH has just remembered and is MASSIVELY apologetic.

He only remembered because we have just had a massive bunch of flowers delivered to me from my friend and other birthday cards and stuff that have arrived via the postie.

He saw them and the colour drained from his face.

We have hugged it out and he has given me my card and gift and told me he has booked us a table at my favourite restaurant for tomorrow evening. He has also just presented me with a bottle of champagne which he has now put into the fridge for tonight. So he has redeemed himself.

It just slipped his mind and he feels awful. He is forgiven.

Still nothing from either of my offspring.

Wonder how long it will take either, or both of them to realise.

GO!!!
Happy Birthday - hope you have a lovely lunch!

Edit- just saw your update! Pleased he redeemed himself!

That's really awful.
I wouldn't do anything for them at all any more. They can fend for themselves.

For someone not living in the same house as you, why would you be the thing they think of as soon as they wake up? Not everyone is actively considering what date it is every single day.
I had my mum’s present sat on my kitchen side for three weeks before her birthday and then on the afternoon of her birthday thought Oh no! It’s the 4th!! So obviously it wasn’t going to make it to her in the post on time.
I find myself much less date-aware than I was a few years ago, I’m fine +/- a couple of days but it’s not active in my mind. It doesn’t mean I don’t care.

I am amazed at the amount of women who seem to think that just coz a human has a penis it needs reminding of a birthday, he knows its your birthday he just doesnt care and thats the problem, one day a year for you and yes it does matter and is important, as already stated id be on the euro star find a nice french man take a selfie and when your partner texts saying why isnt my dinner on the table where are you you can send it to him saying 'oh la la happy french birthday to me'

Had he already got your card and gift, or did he have to rush out to get them? Happy Birthday.

Happy Birthday. 🎂I have always messaged my mum on her birthday. I would feel so bad if I didn't do that even if It was just a quick "Happy Birthday"

He already had them, along with the bottle of champagne, and he booked the table for dinner last week.

So he did remember it was my Birthday, he just got up this morning and he didn't remember until the postie arrived with cards and flowers.

Wonder how long it will take either, or both of them to realise.

Perhaps Dad will remind them.

I have never once forgotten to text my adult DD's on their Birthday mornings to say Happy Birthday. In fact, its pretty much the first thing I do when I wake up. I never once forgot to call my own Mother on her Birthday, first thing in the morning as soon as I knew she would be up and awake.

I am not actively considering what date it is every single day either. But I do remember the important ones, like someones Birthday.

I know the fact they haven't messaged me doesn't mean they don't care. But I am allowed to feel a little hurt that they haven't thought to message me when my friends, and the rest of my wider family, have all remembered and messaged me.

Over time people can become complacent and they stop making any effort, secure in the knowledge that you will always be there doing everything for everyone. Do you feel taken for granted generally? It’s time to start prioritising yourself YANBU at all in fact you have probably been far too reasonable for far too long. Go off to lunch somewhere lovely, get your hair and nails done, buy some new clothes, buy a big bunch of flowers, pack a bag and go on a spa break. None of these things are unreasonable. Do less for them and more for yourself. Happy Birthday Queen 🫅💐🍾💃👠🧳✈️

Well their dad would've reminded them by now.

My husband forgot a big birthday completely last year. I never said a word.
He apologised profusely and was so upset 🙄.
My girlfriends had all remembered.
Kids did too, but no cake, flowers or meal.

It has been a big wake up call for me.
Too giving, too kind, so thankless. It is 9 months later and the affects are still being felt by him.
I have 100% dropped the ball.
I have so stepped back from doing what I used to do, and I love it.
I don't cook most of the time, kids are in university.
He sorts his meals out.
Several of his family, whom i really like are visiting for the weekend.
Normally I am here fussing, cooking, and doing it all.
This time I told him I am away for the weekend myself with a friend who is collecting me after work, we are going to a hotel for the weekend.
Really looking forward to it.

It's been a blessing.
I have an autoimmune disease from putting everyone first for so long.
A wake up, cop on call was long overdue.
My health has improved no end I think.

Happy Birthday! Your family should be ashamed of themselves. Go and treat yourself 💐

I assume your DDs know you’re not working today and so I personally would have texted you in the morning in case you were having a lie in.

I’m sure they’ll text you after work so there’s no point being upset over something that hasn’t happened yet.

I would be annoyed at DH as there’s no excuse but hopefully he’ll make it up to you.

I hope you have a lovely rest of the day and I’d be making sure the entire weekend is about you and not lifting a finger.

Happy birthday 🥳

Happy birthday OP 🥳

We are birthday twins! My husband forgot mine this morning (a big birthday too) and only remembered when someone at school drop off wished me a happy birthday. My DD (only little) was upset because no-one (aka DH) reminded her.

I hope you took yourself off for a lovely lunch.

Amazing! Have you spoken to each other about it since?

Good for you, I hope he cooks for you sometimes to make up for all the times you did it for him?

What is wrong with him?! That’s shit.

@Goaliestar
I don’t blame you at all. This sort of lack of effort or care has consequences moving forward. Particularly when you’ve made a big effort yourself for years. Hope you enjoy your weekend away.

I put a reminder in my phone for this kind of thing. 7.00am reminder, text mum, birthday, that kind of thing. It pops up on my phone. Seems a pretty simple way not to upset your mum.

Glad he redeemed himself but also I can't believe he forgot it was today! And your kids are shit, I don't care if they are grown up and at work they should still remember their mum's birthday. Sorry OP but you have to match this behaviour, this is what I do for people that let me down.
Happy Birthday 🥳

Happy birthday OP.

Last year I “forgot” my best friend’s birthday - I was busy at work and genuinely got mistaken thinking “it’s tomorrow”. I texted her at 8pm and felt rubbish!

I hope that’s all it is with your kids and they apologise. If it’s actually that they take you for granted then you need a chat with them - on a different day, of course

10:30 am is still very early in the day imo, I would wait longer for your children. Husband should know better though