I didn’t let my husband eat the meatballs, AIBU?

[dancebabybee]

My husband is an incredibly fussy eater. Basically, he will only eat beige foods and sugar. This makes going out to eat very difficult as well as cooking for him at home. There have been times in restaurants when he will complain there is NOTHING he likes on the menu (despite the menu being extensive) and he ends up eating a bread basket. I am giving you this history as it is important for what happened this evening…

I made meatballs, tomato ragu and spaghetti for dinner. Due to my husbands extreme fussy eating, I don’t usually cook for him and he is left to sort himself out. Me and the children had this for dinner. When I went into the kitchen afterwards, he had started picking at the sauce left in the pan, scooping the meatballs out, scraping the tomatoes and sauce off. I asked him whether he wanted me to make him some pasta, he said no he just wanted to eat the meatballs. I told him to please not, as it will just leave a load of sauce that nobody will want to eat without meatballs in it, and I wanted to save the spare for lunch or dinner tomorrow. He then got annoyed about this and sulked off…

AIBU?

That means being content.!! I'm happy for you. I'm the same as are a lot of my friends.

If the fussy eater wants meatballs, tell him to make himself meatballs

It's a pattern of selfish and inconsiderate behaviour which OP has explained and is a reason why she doesn't cook for him in the first place.

Honestly this thread is mad. Like it’s normal to go rummaging through food and pick out all the tasty bits you want and abandon the rest
take a portion and do that sure but not the entire thing

Does anyone else really fancy some meatballs now

I had them for dinner last night thanks to this thread.

No it’s the comments about him generally like people couldn’t be with someone who doesn’t have a palate which is wide and varied enough to be acceptable.

The incident is one thing but the contempt for those who won’t just eat anything is always present on these threads.

There are certainly comments about his eating habits being inherently undesirable, but there's also lots of us who've had nothing to say about what he wants to eat and whose criticism is only about his selfishness. As he could eat his preferred beige and plain meat diet just fine without continually ruining leftovers and wasting food when he's been told for years not to.

But claims that there's more of one than the other don't mean anything if you don't crunch the numbers, which I can't imagine anyone would be arsed with. Otherwise it's just you telling us what you noticed more.

I think some posters are missing that the OP doesn't include him in her cooking as he is so fussy and usually prefers his ready meals or takeaways and so the meal she made was the quantity she had gauged would feed her, the DCs and leave leftovers for them for another meal. The meatballs were never there to be eaten by him but he came toddling along and did what seems to be his party piece of picking out the meat/fish (the expensive part) and leaving what the OP had hoped would be another meal for her/the DCs ruined. By offering him some meatballs but with pasta and sauce too I expect she was hoping he'd be full with 3 of the meatballs (she'd allowed 3 meatballs per person) as he'd be having the meal as planned but no, he wanted to just eat the 6 meatballs on their own, which meant no leftover pasta/meatballs for 2 people.

@dancebabybee I think you need to stop showing him you are annoyed or getting cross and just very, very bluntly tell him to stop it. Do not do it. Not your meal, you did not cook it, you did not want it when it was offered originally so you do not get to pick out the bits you fancy from the leftovers that are a meal for the next day. Stop it, stop it, stop it!

I wouldn't be with someone like OP's DH and I make no apologies for that.

Never eating meals together because he has to live on bread, microwave meals and takeaways
Leaving all of the cooking/prep/planning responsibility up to me
Setting a bad example to DC
Not eating out with him because I'd be too embarrassed with him constantly picking things out or just eating bread

It's unattractive for many reasons.

Hi OP 👋

I haven't RTFT just your replies 😇
This is going to be a long reply ⚠️

I will be honest, my hubby was similar to this and it boils my piss reading this.
He was addicted to beige foods (not bananas though as that's too healthy) sugar, salt, junk food, takeaways and shite. 😠

It was a bloody struggle.
He would pick the meat and spuds off a roast dinner and put them on a round of bread, but leave the veg - it was selfish as someone had gone to the trouble of cooking it.
Sheer fucking indulgence!
A chicken sandwich smothered in squeezy bbq sauce for breakfast etc - disgusting! 🤢

It was sheer bone-idle, lazy indulgence on his part and I was like you, he can prepare and eat his own meals, or else there will be faffing and food waste etc.

He made a decision to try and eat more healthy, so we did it together.
I started with homemade sauces (not sure if your fella likes curry or sauces etc as this would make it harder if he has everything plain).
I would basically cook the veg and blend it into nothing for sauce bases (ragu/curry/carbonara), which helped him get used to different tastes, and not just store bought shite.
Also homemade meatballs had a bit of blended onion, peppers and carrot in before rolling them up, (just to get veg in). It was bloody tedious, but it got better.

It was a mix of this and him doing HIS part. 💯

He may just have to do what my fella did, which was to have my food, cut down on shite and have the withdrawals to go along with it!
He drank loads of water and would brush his teeth or have gum when he had a craving.
It was hard but it worked for us.

It's like any addiction really.

I don't wish to offend, but If he is really concerned with his weight, has he thought about GLP1 wright loss jabs?
My colleague in work said that they stopped her cravings for crap food (and also alcohol) and this helped her to lose the weight?
She stopped craving certain things- maybe that could be an option? 🤔

Best of luck OP @dancebabybee

Your husband has an eating disorder and needs advice and help. He will most likely be malnourished and he is setting a bad example to your children so try and get him to open up and seek medical advice.

How in the world are you qualified to say this?

Absolutely same.

Just... grow the fuck up.

Can you explain how not wanting to eat the food that you like makes someone immature? You know taste is subjective, right? Should people force themselves to eat food they don’t like, just to appease their partner? Who decides what is an acceptable range of things to eat?

Just curious why people who judge ‘picky’ eaters end up with them?

This would annoy me no end.

I think if the agreement is that he makes his own food, then he makes his own food and leaves yours alone.

He can’t have it both ways.

There's a difference between not liking a few things - for example, I could never bring myself to eat peanut butter or courgettes - and, as OP said, existing on a diet of "beige food and sugar".

I certainly didn't pick a picky eater as a DH. Because, as I said, it would have been a massive turn-off for me. The only food my DH has a strong dislike for is cauliflower!

It sounds like he has some kind of issue surrounding food - have you heard of arfid
I can understand how this might be difficult for you, but it seems like something you guys need to explore. It must be disruptive for the whole family and sounds like it has already been destroying your relationship with your partner much more than you are appreciating. Big hug and no judgement on you.

I think if he struggles so much - him eating some good quality food like meatballs sounds like a win and the rest could easily be incorporated into another meal or you could just get more meatballs.

My autistic son only likes meatballs cooked in sauce but won’t eat the sauce so scrapes it off, especially if there is visible tomato but insists it is served with broccoli. My other autistic son also scrapes off sauce, can’t tolerate veg and grates half a pound of cheese over his meal. We waste a lot of sauce. But they both get to eat a meal they enjoy so I let it ride. This is part of the reason why it is important, especially for the autistic community, that PIP is paid as cash benefits rather than vouchers. Because without the wasted sauce and the fresh veggies and the half pound of cheese they would not eat the meal. Believe me I have tried every other cheaper alternative. Happy well fed and regulated people rather than hungry, dis regulated people makes mood management so much easier.

I don’t care what food they do or don’t like. The immature bit is filching meatballs that aren’t your dinner and wiping the sauce off. That’s what a child might do.

He needs to grow up!

What a selfish attitude!

Let the man eat! 🤣

Your husband is a dick.

Is your husband autistic as often they only eat beige foods and can be fussy about what to eat