I didn’t let my husband eat the meatballs, AIBU?

[dancebabybee]

My husband is an incredibly fussy eater. Basically, he will only eat beige foods and sugar. This makes going out to eat very difficult as well as cooking for him at home. There have been times in restaurants when he will complain there is NOTHING he likes on the menu (despite the menu being extensive) and he ends up eating a bread basket. I am giving you this history as it is important for what happened this evening…

I made meatballs, tomato ragu and spaghetti for dinner. Due to my husbands extreme fussy eating, I don’t usually cook for him and he is left to sort himself out. Me and the children had this for dinner. When I went into the kitchen afterwards, he had started picking at the sauce left in the pan, scooping the meatballs out, scraping the tomatoes and sauce off. I asked him whether he wanted me to make him some pasta, he said no he just wanted to eat the meatballs. I told him to please not, as it will just leave a load of sauce that nobody will want to eat without meatballs in it, and I wanted to save the spare for lunch or dinner tomorrow. He then got annoyed about this and sulked off…

AIBU?

But OP was happy for him to eat it with pasta. Its just a really weird relationship dynamic to have one partner telling the other what they are allowed to eat. I prefer a nice, friendly, sharing kind of dynamic with the person I love. Rather than being the dictator.

I actually don’t think he did anything that wrong because..

1. if he’d dished up the whole lot and left the sauce on his plate that would be fine…no one is telling an adult off for leaving some sauce on their plate, and
2. pasta and ragu is a perfectly normal meal on its own.

that aside, beige eating would be my number one unappealing trait in a person- no joy on dinners out, or any meal whatsoever, no holidays exploring different cuisines, no thanks. In fact, I used to unmatch on OLD if I asked them their favourite meal and their response was ‘Chinese takeaway’. Big indicator we won’t have a whole lot in common.

If he labelled his eating as ARFID people wouldn't be giving him so much shit. He's obviously got very disordered eating or some kind of food related issues.

I think YABU. You were happy for him to eat the meatballs with the sauce so I don't understand your problem. Just add some more protein to the sauce tomorrow if you really care that much.

Give him the recipe 😁

Agreed it is selfish. He cannot do that to the family meal!

He sounds like a tall toddler. Me only wants bwead.

The food wasn’t for him. Op tried to roll with the punches by offering him pasta if he was insisting on taking it. Not unreasonable to be pissed off about this

YANBU. Fussy eating aside, I hate when someone picks all the ‘main bit’ out of leftover eg the chicken or whatever and leaves the sauce, it’s so selfish.

However I wouldn’t have married someone who only ate beige and sugar in the first place.

If he has those issues about food then it makes sense for him to cook for himself and not scrape bits off of your food to make it acceptable. I couldn't stand watching him by the stove "cleaning" the meatballs that weren't cooked for him and that were intended for another meal.

being that fussy an eater would have been a very early dealbreaker for me though.

LTB although goodness knows why you married him in the first place

She offered to make him some pasta. She didn’t offer the food that she’d made for herself.

Unless there is a massive drip feed coming, that financially, you're on the bones of your arse and that left over portion of meatballs was to feed your kids for the next week until pay day, and hes deprived them of sustenance, then I think YABU.

How nice would it have been to sit down as a family next time you made them and share a meal together?

But what difference does it make. He could have taken the whole meal. Or just removed the meatballs. Either way, there’s nothing left for anyone else so why does it matter?

he could take the lot and just eat the meatballs and throw the rest out. Everyone else had already eaten so no one was going without

I think that she offered to make him some pasta to eat with the meatballs, but agree its not totally clear

How unattractive to be with a man who eats like a fussy toddler.

The meal wasn’t cooked for him because of his eating and so if he picks stuff out there is less for the people the meal wasn’t cooked for so he’s in the wrong

Sounds very annoying. I'd starve him too.

Only eats beige food and sugar

Are you sure he's a man and not a child?

Make him a custard-cream baguette tomorrow to go with his bowl of frosties and child-sized carton of vanilla mill-shake that comes with a mini-straw

along with a heaped spoonful of concrete to harden the fuck up

I want to say he is acting like a child, but then no child of mine has ever behaved like this! They are raised not to be fussy and enjoy a wide variety of foods. This will be from weaning, so there is really no excuse

He’s not a child, he’s a grown man who wants to pick and choose the best bits of a meal like a toddler.

So he’s allowed to eat them if he has pasta.

I'd be pleased there was something he liked that was easy enough to make.

As long as you and kids had enough for tonight I'd have let him have a couple. I wouldn't deny him food in order to have leftovers. That's a bit mean.

I hope he mainly cooks/supplies his own food if it's so different from what you and kids like. I know fussy eaters and they can be easy to cater for as it's so limited and plain. But he shouldn't be placing any extra effort on you!

"Fussy eating" may not be at all just attention seeking. OP's husband may be autistic. May have sensory difficulties around food. And if he generally cooks for himself, no harm done.

Ah I think that is rather mean! He was hungry and found something he liked. So the sauce was wasted but he would have had dinner. He’s your husband. I would have let him have what he pleased and next time made some extra. YABU!