I didn’t let my husband eat the meatballs, AIBU?

[dancebabybee]

My husband is an incredibly fussy eater. Basically, he will only eat beige foods and sugar. This makes going out to eat very difficult as well as cooking for him at home. There have been times in restaurants when he will complain there is NOTHING he likes on the menu (despite the menu being extensive) and he ends up eating a bread basket. I am giving you this history as it is important for what happened this evening…

I made meatballs, tomato ragu and spaghetti for dinner. Due to my husbands extreme fussy eating, I don’t usually cook for him and he is left to sort himself out. Me and the children had this for dinner. When I went into the kitchen afterwards, he had started picking at the sauce left in the pan, scooping the meatballs out, scraping the tomatoes and sauce off. I asked him whether he wanted me to make him some pasta, he said no he just wanted to eat the meatballs. I told him to please not, as it will just leave a load of sauce that nobody will want to eat without meatballs in it, and I wanted to save the spare for lunch or dinner tomorrow. He then got annoyed about this and sulked off…

AIBU?

Ridiculous. It boils down to eat them my way or no way. You will have them with pasta and sauce but NOT on their own.

Rightly so! He's an adult. Eat like one

YABU is the was spare.

Or to put it another way, his way or no way. You, wife, will make the meatballs, and I, in the moment, according to my whim, will come and pick them out of the meal you prepared for yourself and the children, but NOT as part of a normal adult meal.

The man is ridiculous, but the people defending his rude, childish, inconsiderate behaviour are even more so.

I would just have left him a few on a side dish!
Its too much fuss over a few meatballs!

Again...ridiculous. OP would go to the trouble of making pasta to ensure her husband ate what he doesn't like. It's leftovers....

Oh the kind and compassionate replies of Mumsnet! Relax everyone...

Say it out loud... "my husband wanted meatballs and nothing else."

Thats the facts. Everything else is added.

Remember we are all human beings who deserve compassion and a bit of kindness. This "it was her and the children's food" narrative really belies a tendency toward being a bit selfish. No matter how inconvenient, I always try to include people and cater for all types (not just food).

My advice, for what its worth is always show generosity appriach things w good intentiom, and drop ones demands for people to behave as you want them to. You cant change other people, so accept him as he is or do domething different/be unhappy.

This man does not sound very attractive or sexy

Because she wanted some of the meatballs to be left for lunch. Eating pasta with them would mean that he wouldn't eat all of the meatballs.

It was a fair compromise considering he's supposed to be eating his own food.

I offered to make him pasta so he could have it as part of a meal, rather than just picking the meatballs out (he was planning on eating all of the ones left), and just leaving sauce

She KNEW he was eating all the meatballs but the sauce had to be eaten with them...and pasta, even when I am typing this out I can't get over how crazy this is.

Exactly this, added to the fact he’s ruined leftovers lots of times in the past which I’ve given examples of.

What, even though he was regularly nasty about your cooking and you stopped making him anything because of his behaviour?

Where is OP's DH compassion and kindness?

He doesn't cook
He sets a bad example to his children when it comes to diet
When he wants something, he just picks out the fish, chicken etc with no regard for anyone else
When OP did cook for him, he did nothing but complain which is why she doesn't cook for him now

I asked he have pasta and sauce with it, to be exact there were 6 meatballs left, I portioned 3 per person, he was planning on eating all 6 and leaving all the sauce. So that would have left 1 more portion for someone else the next day or later that evening for hungry teenagers. He has ruined leftovers lots of times which means it ends up being binned, eating all the chicken out of fajitas leaving a pan of peppers, eating all the fish out of a fish pie so it’s left with only mash and sauce, stir fry he will eat the prawns and chicken leaving noodles and veggies, he does this a lot!!

Unless I was on the breadline, I couldn't imagine denying someone a few meatballs that were left over and throwing a bit of sauce out.

I do wonder if the defenders of this man who think the OP should have shrugged it off and contrived a different meal for tomorrow based on what her husband graciously decided to leave her as rejected, have ever left any foodstuffs on the side for which they had plans.

My DP will make himself a sandwich at lunchtime, and might leave it unattended for a moment. I don't like cheese, but I do like bread - do you think it'd be ok if I just started eating that bit of the sandwich?

@Rabbitinahabit

maybe she’s just sick of his shit?

certainly sounds that way….

Unless I was on the breadline, I wouldn't snaffle someone else's food

This

She very clearly says that he was going to pick out all of the meatballs and eat them. With pasta, it would mean not needing to eat all of the meatballs and leaving some left over for lunch.

Again, I'm failing to see how hard that is to understand.

Agree with this. It’s a big ick!!

He can’t take out the best part and leave an unworkable meal for everyone else…. You’d think this would be obvious to anyone, perhaps he just doesn’t care.

The more you write, the more I wonder whether this is deliberately controlling behaviour. Initially I thought it was just lazy twat territory.

What do you see in him exactly? This would give me the serious ick.

I think it’s just not be arsed to cook himself, seeing something he likes (an element of a meal) and deciding he’s having it as a starter before his microwave meal!

Honestly, I don't know how you are still married to him.

Ick. Ick. Ick.