I didn’t let my husband eat the meatballs, AIBU?

[dancebabybee]

My husband is an incredibly fussy eater. Basically, he will only eat beige foods and sugar. This makes going out to eat very difficult as well as cooking for him at home. There have been times in restaurants when he will complain there is NOTHING he likes on the menu (despite the menu being extensive) and he ends up eating a bread basket. I am giving you this history as it is important for what happened this evening…

I made meatballs, tomato ragu and spaghetti for dinner. Due to my husbands extreme fussy eating, I don’t usually cook for him and he is left to sort himself out. Me and the children had this for dinner. When I went into the kitchen afterwards, he had started picking at the sauce left in the pan, scooping the meatballs out, scraping the tomatoes and sauce off. I asked him whether he wanted me to make him some pasta, he said no he just wanted to eat the meatballs. I told him to please not, as it will just leave a load of sauce that nobody will want to eat without meatballs in it, and I wanted to save the spare for lunch or dinner tomorrow. He then got annoyed about this and sulked off…

AIBU?

Am sorry and know this is missing the point, but 3 meatballs per person? Are they some huge, homemade ones because the ones we get in our supermarket are 15-20g each and 3 would no way equate to an adequate serving.

The last 6 meatballs would be considered ‘left overs’ in my house. A pack of 24 would have fed 4 when my DC were in junior school (6 each) but barely feeds 3 adults now.

Now I understand why so many MNers can feed their families of £1.24 a day.

This!

Total aside (I agree if he was going to make a mess he shouldn’t but otherwise I don’t see the big deal!) I’ve always found people get so angry about fussy eaters- irrationally, crazily angry and they act like the picky eater is ridiculous, awful etc etc. I used to be a fussy eater (grew out of it)- people would get to say their preference for food/ where they wanted to eat and then I (who wouldn’t have said anything) would inevitably have everyone roll their eyes and comment on what I’d be able to eat when again inevitably we’d end up at their choice anyway and I would bother nobody as I ate plain rice or chicken balls or a place of chips but even then people had to comment on what I was eating and think they could turn me before rolling their eyes again. Leave fussy eaters alone!!!

Our butchers do pretty big meatballs. They're like 4 times the size of the little Tesco ones.

It’s packs of 12 meatballs - not the small mini ones - 3 with sauce and pasta is perfectly enough. I agree you need more than 3 if you are planning to have them with nothing else though!!

I didnt see that he was regularly nasty about her cooking. That could be a different matter for me to.

I know it's hard to not try and come back to defend yourself against what feels like people very deliberately missing the bloody point but please try not to take some of the completely ridiculous replies on this thread to heart.

Some posters would quite happily argue the other side regardless of how wrong they (in this case your husband) are. Goodness knows why they do it but remember it's a them thing not anything you've done wrong.

My family are clearly gannets, though, because that’s still only 80-90g of meat? A 12 pack = 360g, so two servings, even with sauce, pasta and veg. Might explain why my DS is 6ft 4, though!

I’m sorry if you’ve already said and I’ve missed it, but have you ever had a conversation with him and addressed the fact that he does this?

Ah, makes more sense if you'd missed that part. Yes, he has quite the history of bad behaviour here.

Yes, I have, he knows it’s annoying but he’s greedy. He’s agreed not to do it in future and ask first, I also bought him a pack of his own meatballs which he had the next day for lunch so it’s not a big issue 😂

I'm having meatballs & spaghetti with grated cheese and garlic bread for dinner tonight thanks to this thread.

This is how I have read it. Clearly if it was OPs lunch for tomorrow it should not be touched, so it wouldn’t be leftovers would it. If it is leftovers he can eat it only if he eats the pasta and sauce. Or is he only allowed 3 meatballs which is a designated portion size.

Please don't tell me that you cooked the meatballs for him?

The meat is simultaneously so unimportant that OP is stupid and greedy for making a fuss because pasta with ragu is a fine meal by itself AND now she is not giving anyone enough meat and she's stingy with her portions even for her own children (who will no doubt end up as undernourished weedy adults under 6 foot).

So many ways to twist this!

If it left someone else without an evening meal i’d agree with you, but not if it’s just for left overs tomorrow.

I might start doing this…picking the caramel off of the top of a Twix bar, eating the cream out of custard creams, picking the chocolate bits out of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. It sounds very fun and self-indulgent. F* the rest of the family.

He isnt asking the question.
It would be nice if everyone had a bit more consideration for others.
I would say the same to him too.

I dont generally take sides or engage in whataboutery :)

When someone is clearly acting selfish, disrespectful and inconsiderate I happily take sides.

Some people really enjoy cooking and meal planning and fair play to them but I think most people who are responsible for feeding other people find it a bit of a slog sometimes, day in day out. When you have leftovers and all you need to do is heat up and serve or just cook a little extra pasta or rice it's like a little holiday, don't have to think what to do, takes very little time and effort.

He tried to steal that holiday from OP and give her extra work without asking when he never does any of that work himself. It's disrespectful without a doubt.

This. It’s a mental load task to do the weekly meal plan. When I make a tomato sauce with meatballs, I make double, and freeze the extra half. Next time, all I have to do is simmer it on the hob and get some pasta going in another pot. I do this with everything—curries, etc. If my DH came through and picked meat out of my leftovers (ie, another meal prepped for another day), I would be livid.

That is probably why I have never spoken to anyone in real life who does ‘meal plans’ or ‘batch cooking’!

I’m sure you have met us in the wild. I don’t announce my weekly meal plan to my work colleagues, but it is definitely happening behind the scenes—the dinners we’re having for the week, along with a list of what ingredients we need from the supermarket. And if it’s a “wet” meal, eg, spag bol, it’s doubled up and the sauce is frozen for a night in the next week or two, to save me having to cook something from scratch that night. Many of us don’t open the freezer at 6pm and decide what frozen UPFs we’re going to have for dinner that night. We’re out there, we just quietly get on with it.

Most people meal plan and many batch cook (it's sensible to make larger portions and freeze them for another night). Life is busy and it's a luxury if you have the time to go to the shops every day, wander round and decide what to eat that evening.

I hope so too. I also think he should have gone out and bought his own but maybe it was the only way OP could ensure her lunch was safe!