Help me with a come back creepy colleague

[Thingsivesaid]

My colleague is a 60 something man and im in my 40s. He gives me the creeps. Used to touch my back without permission, is crossing professional boundaries by asking personal questions about my life and divorce (i change subject) And now the latest, He comments on my hair! Nearly every day. 'So, you've got a pony tail today. Your hair is on curls. Who plaited your hair for you. When are you going to wear a ponytail again?' Yuck!!! I didnt say much when the comments started, just ignored or said yea, but he didnt get the hint. Now ive said in a very dry tone a few times 'I didnt know you were interested in womens hairstyles.' But i dont think he'll stop. Please help me with a perfect come back! Something that shuts him up for good. (Bearing in mind i need to be able to exist in the same small office for the foreseeable)

If you comment on my personal appearance again,I will report you to HR”
And do it. He will regard banter as a come on.
A tip. When you report him to HR ( and you will-he won’t stop) under no circumstances mention his age.

Ear buds in when its just you and him then every time he asks you something you can just ignore or dramatically take them out and just stare at him until he repeats what he says.

If he comments on your appearance just agree - you've got your hair up today @Thingsivesaid, wait a beat then say yes? With a kind but concerned expression.

Guys like him absolutely know they are being creepy, he's not being nice.

It sounds like you have an office with a door, once you are the last one there (bar him) put up a “do not disturb sign) and close it.

Agree with others - do not look for a witty response. Tempting as it is, he will love that. It plays into the “it’s all banter” narrative and could be used against you to justify that it was just joking between you both.
Any of the boring, straightforward responses along the lines of, I don’t tolerate this behaviour in the workplace, you need to stop, is best.

Very straightforward request to stop, as pp have said. Followed by "are you going to stop, or do I need to take this to HR?". He'll probably blather about just being friendly, can't say anything these days, maybe hysterical women etc. Just repeat: yeah, like I said, it needs to stop and if it doesn't, it'll be HR, your choice.