To be absolutely fed up with male violence

[Cicchetti]

Dr Hannah Terry. Another woman murdered.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx4g1z2ydqp4o

This is just the UK news..The world news is worse.

Another thread was deleted about a pregnant woman considering getting back with her violent partner. The victim-blaming was shocking… More women than we know live with this type of man. Good women, like Dr. Terry. It’s such sad news…

We need to move to a female led community situation. In matrilocal societies (where a husband moves into the wife's family home), women remain surrounded by their lifelong network of mothers, sisters, and aunts. This strong female coalition serves as a massive deterrent against domestic violence and male-on-male infighting. Female communes get my vote.
Men can go off and be angry and play with their dicks somewhere else.

I think there are more who will if the men are not known to them.

When I think back to my late teens, 20s, 30s and early 40s, I can think of several men who stepped in to challenge a man who was behaving inappropriately towards me and got me safelyout of a potentially dangerous situation. One was a homeless man in a large city centre.

But too many want to save face with their friends. And I do think it has got worse.

I had a 1970s childhood. Every third house had DV in it. We were harassed as soon as we developed. Many of us were getting whistled at at 10. Men's behaviour was excused, minimised and defended. None of the men were watching violent porn.
@OneoftheWeddingPeople does he also call other men out? I know decent men, but what lets them down has been the lack of support. I was really shocked by one who admitted he ignored the sexual harrasment of a young female student on placement, by another old male staff member. The silence in the pub when women's football or the Prince Andrew case has been discussed and it goes off on a sexist rant.

Men value male opinions above all others. The only exception is sometimes their mother, in my experience and even then not always.

Men compete with each other because they respect each other. They expect from women sex and devotion but don't want to change for them because men they know tell them they don't have to. Other men are usually jealous their friend has a mate and wants their gym and drinking/drug buddy back so preach being inflexible because it rules out their competition - it isn't because they are thinking of what is best for their friend. Just ditch her and get a new one!

It’s Schrödinger’s men:

Not all men but also - don’t put your self in ‘risky’ situations (IE be a women in the world) because men are going to man!

which is it - because it’s not all men but we are blamed for believing that!

My small town is now patrolled by masked up men in black who are ‘protecting’ us but they are just making me scared to go out - to run etc because they would film and dox me if they knew my feelings

It’s the hormones. I’m dreading when HRT becomes a thing for men.

And @GreyCarpet That is not Foucauldian discourse in any way whatsoever.

I’ve read 3 stories in the last 2 days of women who killed their kids. It’s seems the men are killing their partners and women are doing it to their kids. Sad times.

There's actually more to this than you'd think at first read. It's a diabolical tragedy, but not quite as straightforward as evil partner/domestic violence

Mothers don't murder their kids at higher rates, and the reasons why men and women kill children are different: women are more likely to kill through neglect, to commit infanticide due to an unwanted pregnancy, to be suffering psychosis, or to misguidedly believe it's to help the child in some way.

Men kill for far different reasons related to power, control, and entitlement

https://theconversation.com/men-and-women-kill-their-children-in-roughly-equal-numbers-and-we-need-to-understand-why-153527

"Research indicates that gender does, in fact, play a role in the type of crime committed and the motivations behind it.

Accidental killings of children, for instance, are more likely to be the result of neglect among mothers and abuse among fathers and stepfathers. This reflects what we know about gender patterns in childcare responsibility and domestic and family violence.

In cases where children are killed intentionally, women are more likely to kill babies and newborns, particularly in circumstances of unwanted pregnancies. Such offenders are more likely to be young and have low levels of social support, although it is increasingly reported among older women.

Mothers are also more likely to kill their children during a psychotic episode.

...

Women are also more likely to kill children out of a warped belief they are sparing them pain – for instance, of losing a parent to suicide."

How do you know this?

And that is...?

Are you suggesting mental health was a factor? Because I can’t imagine anything else that would suggest there is “more to this”. And even if mental health was part of it does that really change how we should feel about it?

Same

I have only been brought up by, chose as my life partner, and raised gentle males. I went to a football match once not even a high stakes game and was completely shocked at just the almost tangible very toxic all male atmosphere. You could feel it hanging in the air. I’ve just never been close with men like this and it’s horrible

If I could say, I would have.

Not quite. I'm not posting to be deliberately vague, but there genuinely is sometimes a need to refrain from the standard assumptions.

Obviously it wouldn't change how we feel about the death of a woman and mother. It's devastating.

🙄

Sure.

So we’ll take it as bullshit then. Because the only justification would be severe mental illness amounting to insanity, which is clearly not the case, given he’s been charged.

I can't see what the 'there is more to this' would be.....

She was found dead with head injuries and he has been arrested & charged by the police relatively quickly after the incident.

Is it still the case that 3 women a day in the UK are murdered at the hands of men.....

OMFG the ' Not my Nigel"s and " pick me"s have found the thread.

Bludgeoned and strangled - he apparently had a minor knife wound and said there had been a break in - yeah nice try but he’s been charged with murder

Aware enough of what he had done to try to blame someone else.
https://nypost.com/2026/10/07/world-news/queen-camillas-doctor-murdered-while-hosting-a-sleepover-for-her-3-kids/

Poor Camilla, she knew the other mum who was killed by the pilot husband in front of her kids as well. Horrible.

What's the point of recommending solutions that have never been widely practised and have no realistic chance of being adopted? Apart from a few small, isolated communities centuries ago, they've never been the norm, and before you ask, no, I don't have a better idea but I'm not going to suggest something I know is completely impractical.

I am sure people said that when someone first suggested visiting the moon.
We need to survive as a species and men are not taking us on that path. Why should women sit about hoping they will change, hoping they will be nicer, hoping they will think of the future, hoping they will grow some empathy? No, we take control and do what we can to keep ourselves and our kids safe.